Wanderings of Wag

What marriage is.

2010-07-03T07:45:00.002-06:00

As I grow older, my thoughts on this subject get deeper. At times, I wish someone had told me more about this as was starting out on my marriage but I also realize that much of it cannot be learned unless it is lived.

We just celebrated our 21st anniversary last month. As you read this, bear in mind, it's a distillation of these 21 years we've had and of some of the thoughts which I've written previously within this blog.

You have to understand what marriage is: It's a contract between two people AND the government. That's it. It doesn't mean the two people love each other. It only means that the state owns both your asses. It also allows the government to force the two of you into an ownership relationship, ergo, MY wife or MY husband, MY spouse. In other words, you get to dictate many of the actions of the other. According to the government.

Having said that, there ARE certain legal benefits to a marriage relationship, especially where children are concerned and with regard to inheritance issues, etc. Nevertheless, if you choose to get "married" in the eyes of the government, remember that it is ONLY a contract between the two of you and them and nothing more.

A committed relationship requires no such contract or binding agreement. It isn't even about giving oneself to another which is equally abhorrent. It's about two hearts merging together and becoming one. A complete mating of the hearts and minds and souls

Your mate is a part of you and you are a part of your mate. At that point, why would you do something to hurt your mate? Hurting the partner is hurting yourself. Of far greater importance is that when you support your mate and your mate supports you and you build each other up at every opportunity, you are doing the same for yourself. As you help your mate to grow, you also grow and as you accept your mate's efforts to help you to grow, your mate also grows with those efforts.

There are those who marry and many years later, their hearts merge and become one. Sad that it wasn't there beforehand but no harm, hopefully, that it took so long. Better, though, to be mated before making that step toward marriage and marriage to be done only if there are compelling reasons to do so, especially if children are desired.

Ultimately, though, marriage is not required in order for a pair to mate. Indeed, marriage could even prevent a mating as I've described. If commitment and trust and reliance exist between the two and they have mated in every way possible, then there is no need for a marriage. A far greater union, a much better joining has happened than can ever be accomplished in front of any priest or minister or justice of the peace. There is no need for a vow of the lips. The promise is in the heart and mind and body and soul.

Such a promise will never be betrayed or questioned.

--Wag--

Ignorance is winning: Revisited

2010-03-12T06:50:00.002-07:00

An essay I wrote in my English class last week. Got a 90 on it.

--Wag--

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In 1999, David Howard, a white man and aide to Anthony Williams, black mayor of Washington D.C., used the term, “niggardly,” to refer to the city’s budget. Marshall Brown, a black man and a colleague of Howard, errantly interpreted the term as racist and filed a formal complaint. In the heated uproar which followed, David Howard was compelled to resign his position, never mind that the word, “niggardly,” merely means, “stingy,” or, “cheap.” It has absolutely no etymological relationship to the racial slur despite the phonetic similarity of the two terms. (See www.wikipedia.com) Of course, an uneducated, ignorant individual might mistakenly hear the term and respond with a vehement, “What did you say?” As a matter of fact, an ignorant man created enough of an uproar to cause another individual to lose his job unjustly.

Ignorance won.

Regrettable as that is, it is even more appalling how people will go to great lengths to defend such ignorance. A few days after Howard’s resignation I had occasion to discuss the event with a classmate who insisted that the two words were based on the same origins. Her insistence raised a legitimate question to which I didn’t know the answer so I deferred discussion in order to research the etymology of the two words. Upon doing so, I returned to inform my classmate of what I had learned and she adamantly insisted that they just had to be related somehow. I handed the research to her and she simply stuffed it into a notebook and changed the subject, completely unwilling to explore it. Although she originally appeared to want to demonstrate that she was right she didn’t appear to be interested in learning new things.

Ignorance won.

Here’s a brief, “What if?” scenario. Imagine that you have worked tirelessly on your resume, proofread it, spell-checked it and asked several qualified people to proofread it. Finally, after hours of painstaking work it’s perfect. You then send it to a carefully chosen company for whom you wish to work. As misfortune would have it, the person in the human resources department of the company is an uneducated fool. Mistakenly believing you have misspelled a word he drops your resume into the waste can as, “unfit,” when in fact, it is he who is, “unfit.” Unfit to read resumes, that is. You fall victim to the ignorance of an individual you never met. The unfortunate employer will inevitably hire a less qualified individual.

Ignorance wins.

In the resume example above, would it be prudent to tone down your resume and be sure to use elementary-school terminology and grammar? It might ensure that you don’t fall victim to this potential form of ignorance. On the other hand, perhaps you really don’t want to work for a company with employees who are unable to read at a higher level. That the possibility even exists suggests that we are risking further descent into general ignorance.

Regrettably, our society appears to be lowering its standards rather than working hard to raise them with values of ever-increasing excellence. I have a neighbor who is a high school history teacher. We frequently discuss his students’ appalling lack of desire to excel at their school work. Worse, the parents of many students seem to encourage this lack of desire to achieve excellence. They seem to be unwilling to encourage their children to learn the subject matter presented. They are more concerned that their children are not, “offended,” by being failed on an exam or by being given a bad grade for bad work, even if they deserve it.

We also appear to be reducing our testing standards. Look at curved grading scales for example. An entire class can do work at a 70% level which indicates that they are a, “C,” class. However, because of curved grading, the standard is lowered such that 70% is now the top score and each of those students will get an, “A.” The grading scale is further revised downward. To add insult to injury, if a single student performs at a 100% level, that student’s grade is often removed from the grading pool in order to reduce the number of students who get a, “C.” That seems bad enough but many classes will even take each student’s lowest assignment grade and eliminate it from calculation in order to increase the student’s average score for the class. This policy is often implemented for all students in a class. If a student gets 100% on all work, no problem for him. But if another student fails to complete an assignment which reduced his grade from an, “A,” to a, “B,” he may get an, “A,” anyway. It points toward a self-destructive decline.

Ever-increasing ignorance wins.

Education is being further compromised by programs such as affirmative action. On the web site, www.balancedpolitics.org, we find a list of the pros and cons of affirmative action programs. Notably, the arguments in favor are weak at best (minorities should be compensated for centuries of oppression, etc.) which only serve to bolster the position that affirmative action is not necessarily a desirable thing.

So, consider the following semi-hypothetical scenario (I say, “semi-hypothetical,” because I’ve heard this scenario described as a course of action by a radio talk jock as a decision he made.):

An affirmative action program is in place at a medical school. Because they have filled their quota of students of one race they are required to admit students of other races. In reviewing applicants, they find plenty of highly qualified students but since they are of the, “wrong,” race, those applications are rejected in favor of other applications for students of the, “right,” race. Regrettably, these other applications are less stellar but the school’s hand is forced by affirmative action policy to accept inferior students. But they are of the, “right,” race and the school has preserved its required racial mix of students.

All is well, isn’t it?

Fast forward 10 years and the student completes med school, but he’s not the best student. Still, he gets his degree, passes his exams at a minimal level, and becomes a licensed physician. Here’s the rub, though. There is no way to tell if a student was admitted because of affirmative action or not. But what if there are people out there who refuse to see a doctor of a minority race simply because there is the possibility that he attained his position simply because of his race and not necessarily because of his academic abilities?

Ignorance won? Are some people unwilling to take the chance with their healthcare? Does the affirmative action policy actually promote the very racism it claims to combat? There is a very good possibility that it does.
As a society, we seem to have become content to see our standards of excellence compromised over and over again. Standards are reduced in order to graduate incompetent students in spite of themselves. Public schools therefore retain their funding. Private institutions are able to tout their graduation numbers in their advertising fliers. Education is a money-making institution in the end, regardless of whether it is public education or private education. Our country continues to descend in a competitive world wherein scientists, mathematicians and specialists from other countries may very well outclass and outperform those within our own society.

I’m not particularly old but in the 27 years since I graduated from high school, I see this decline. Writing skills are not taught exceptionally well, even at a university level. Math skills are being taught at a level which is far below the levels they were in my backwoods high school. Physics and Biology are taught in colleges and universities at a level far below the level of my high school education.

No problem is worth stating without also proposing a solution. The question, of course, is, “How?” People resist change, are lazy, and hold to their traditional beliefs and brainwashing even to the point of irrational combativeness. We must follow the examples of the great reformers whenever necessary but also, whenever possible, we must follow the examples of the quiet few teachers and writers who, little by little, seek to improve the world with their refined, lofty thoughts and ideals, seeking ever to bridge the gap between knowledge & ignorance.

Will ignorance continue to win? Or will it go down in defeat as we work to reform our estimation of what it is like to work toward excellence?

What are you willing to do?

2009-06-27T09:12:00.001-06:00

I just read a fascinating discourse by Ariel Durant, presented as a lecture at Ripon College in 1970. The entire lecture can be read at this link: http://www.willdurant.com/candr.htm

What struck me most was near the end of the lecture where she says, "I prefer reform to revolution. If there anything clear in history it is that violent revolution multiplies chaos, disseminates destitution, and passes through the excesses of freedom to a dictatorship by an oppressive minority. Revolution is a master that devours both its parents and its children. Less alluring, but less costly, are those processes of reform, by [b]persistent[/b] education and gradual public acceptance, which have achieved so many beneficent changes in our century."

The reason this statement strikes me so close to the heart is because so very frequently, I hear people express their willingness to take up arms in an effort to fix the problems of our society, to give up their lives in order to prevent the losses of our freedoms and rights. I learn through forums such as this and from other venues of those who will give up their well-being, their families' lives and all that they possess in order to pick up arms and pursue those freedoms which we have and perceive to be losing, bit by inexorable bit.

What I hear of much less frequently, indeed, quite rarely, are those who are willing to consider the prerequisites to revolution. Rarely do I hear of those who are willing to go to their local city council meetings, get up a couple of times a month and write effective letters and correspondence to their local and national representatives, to speak out when opportunity presents itself. To step away from their televisions and entertainments to speak up and voice their concerns about excessive taxation and overbearing government waste and excess.

There is a huge dichotomy of thought and action between the two. It never ceases to amaze me that there there is an appearance of a great many who prefer the idea of some supposed (mistakenly) glamor of bloodshed to the quiet, peaceful motion of written and verbal dialogue.

Be assured, if it were necessary to shed blood to preserve freedoms, there can be no doubt that rising up to face the enemies of freedom is the right thing to do. Until then, can we prevent it from becoming a need?

I suggest that yes, we can. Freedom-loving Americans such as ourselves can reverse the trend. We must look and see that the erosion we face at this time has been brought about by such means. There has been no military suppression to threaten our peace as a whole. The threat has been the oratory, the verbiage and the pen. Little by little, over the course of almost 100 years, have our freedoms been assaulted by and compromised because of the steady and devoted progress of opponents of rights and freedoms.

Can we do something to stop it? To reverse this trend? Can we end the divisions between us and unite together to bring about a restoration of our need to live free and not die? Is there a leader around whom we can gather in order to press our desires?

I speculate. I'm no expert. I do not see the desired progress. Am I blind? There are battles won, to be sure, but it seems that for each step forward, we have lost a couple of other steps. Nonetheless, I don't despair. I believe in all of us and in our sense of desire and urgency that will move us in the direction which pleases us. I would never attempt to foist a blood revolution upon us. It's too heady a responsibility. Rather, I would foster a revolution of the pen and the words of our mouths.

If you haven't been writing to your representatives, discoursing with your acquaintances, bringing up these issues at appropriate times and using the opportunities at your disposal to discuss such things, it's time. Time to arm ourselves with the written word and use the magnificent technologies we have at our disposal to begin to reverse the negative trends.

Are you willing? Will you?

--Wag--

You selfish bastard.

2009-06-14T07:22:00.003-06:00

Yeah, occasionally, people think I'm a selfish bastard. Some of my friends are also called selfish bastards and so we started talking about this topic one day a few weeks ago.

It seems that the issue is not whether or not someone is actually selfish. In truth, it's nearly impossible to know if someone is generous and compassionate because we can't read minds. Unless you see them do something nice for someone, you simply don't know. Even then, it's questionable as I'll discuss below. If they tell you they did something nice, then you can probably tell if they are being generous. More likely, someone else may tell you that a third person has done something generous.

Really though, what we see most frequently are people who are all bent out of shape because they believe that someone ELSE should be less selfish and give of themselves or their means. That's pretty judgmental, frankly, but what's even more amazing is how often those same people who are calling for the generosity of others are the same ones who are not wiling to be generous of themselves!

Hypocrisy at its best.

It's said on every airplane prior to the flight: "Secure your own oxygen mask FIRST before securing your own." This rule holds true in real life, too. If you have nothing to give, you may very well be as unselfish as anyone, but you just don't have it to give. Add to that the idea that if you harm yourself in your effort to help another, you have had a net effect of zero or less. Actions which are harmful to yourself are quite often less than helpful to the other person as well.

Yes, we hear stories of people who are killed while helping another person and it is said that they truly gave everything. I have no problem with that. It's honorable to help another person, even at the risk of your own life. What's not honorable is for someone ELSE to ask you to do it and castigate you if you don't. I suspect that if someone does help another person, they are often hoping that they are able to give aid AND preserve their own life and means. There is nothing wrong with wanting to preserve yourself in the process of helping another and foregoing the opportunity if circumstances demand it.

Money is a big one. How often do family and friends ask you for financial assistance in one form or another? I strongly suggest that if you have no money of your own to give, if you are in debt yourself, if you don't have the means to provide, you are jeopardizing your own well-being to help the other person. I'm not talking about a guy borrowing $20 for lunch money. I'm talking about the family member who asks you to help them make a couple of car payments or take a wayward child into your home to live, etc. If you bear that expense for them and put yourself in a lurch and can't cover your own living costs, where is the value in that? That is a critical question. What value is there in jeopardizing your well-being to help another person?

If you decide, however, that you're going to refrain from damaging your own security and you withhold the aid that is requested of you, how often does that individual, along with his or her friends and family, consider you a selfish prick? It happens all the time, often to the point of the loss of relatiionships. I suspect that most often when you're accused in such a way, it's when you have the appearance of means on the surface when in reality, you may not be doing as well as others might believe. Indeed, if someone is going to ask you for help, frequently, they have an overblown sense in their minds about what YOU have and what you should do with your resources.

We're not even going to talk about the idea that sometimes, the help you give is much more detrimental than helpful. That's a whole 'nother blog post!

Money is not the only thing, either. Time or Possessions. How often do you get asked to loan your car to someone who's just had their car repossessed? If it's YOUR only or primary means of transportation, or a substantial part of your personal resources, are you jeopardizing your well-being by loaning it out? It's not only possible, it's even quite likely. If you can afford to bear the potential loss, Great! Do as you will. But if you don't have the ability or the means to bear that loss, then you are not necessarily selfish by withholding, regardless of the accusations which could be levied upon you by others who claim a higher morality.

In other words, there are those who cannot see beyond the mark and who would be just fine with everyone being completely unselfish and all of us being completely useless to each other because we have all expended all of our resources in order to give aid and assistance to each other in a personally irresponsible way.

Be assured, I'm all in favor of helping people. I'm an advocate of assisting those in need. Of giving of yourself and your means. Giving a guy $5 worth of gas at the pump even though his story is likely B.S. is a good thing. Helping a family member with $100 to get him through the week is a good thing too. Allowing someone to move in with you while they get back on their feet post-tragic-job-loss.

BUT!!!

Only when you're able to do so without compromising your own security in life. Withholding such things is no crime if you have valid reasons and no other person can tell you what any of those reasons should be. Nor can they look into your heart and mind and arrive at any sort of understanding about why you may have said, "No."

There are many unselfish people out there who would give if they had the means to do so. Unfortunately, they are often guilt-tripped into doing more than they are truly able to do. They put themselves into debt in order to resolve the debts of others. They give up their pensions, retirements, short-term savings, marital security and other security in order to bail out the other person.

No, it's not easy to say no. But often, it's better to say no than to give unthinkingly. Again, bordering on a discussion for another post but definitely something to think about. Sometimes, it's better to say no.

Returning to the original premise, it's important to realize that the ONLY person who can judge your generosity is you. Nobody else can look into your heart and see what it is that makes you decide to help another person or not. Nobody but you is able to know what your circumstances are and why you decide to help or why you decide that now is not the time.

A tangential part of this discussion lies with those who I would consider, "selfishly generous." These are the people who only give when they have some way to benefit from it. They expect a return for their generosity. I'm not saying that giving to another and expecting something is return is entirely bad. It happens all the time and it's a normal part of bartering in real life. So long as it's agreed upon up front, there is no issue. Generosity can benefit both people.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about when I say, "selfishly generous." A mother or father gives up a wad of cash only because they feel guilty that their child is suffering financially. They give unthinkingly, without considering the potential harm to themselves, then walk away feeling like a million bucks! They solved the problem! What's wrong with this is that they didn't solve the problem they professed to solve. They only solved the problem of their OWN feelings of guilt, inadequacy, etc. Their desire was not motivated by wanting to help their kid, they only looked at it as an opportunity to bandage their own hurting soul.

You could call it, "lazy generosity." An unthinking gift may do no good. Indeed, it may do more harm than good. The point though, is that it is not especially generous. It is, in fact, selfish of a person to give to another with no thought of helping but only of covering up some hurting feeling within. Equally disingenuous is helping without considering the long-term effects of what such, "help," will be.

How do you know the difference? If you're giving only to appease the critical masses (family, friends, church people, etc.) and because of the pressure they are putting upon you, then you're not being generous. Do a reality check and make absolutely sure you're not helping just because you feel guilty for NOT doing so. Make sure that when you give, you're not expecting some personal benefit or compensation or repayment in return. (I know people who say that if you help someone now, chances are very good that you'll be able to rely on that person for help in the future if you need it. Kind of like making a deposit into a charity bank account or something!)

If you are genuinely interested in giving help to another, be absolutely sure you give a great deal of thought into what the long-term benefits will be. In a short-term emergency, there may be more room for erring in the side of caution but if you've played out the scenario in your mind ahead of time, you should be able to think clearly without emotion clouding your judgment. Make sure the help you give is not motivated by the fear of the haranguing by others you are sure will come your way. Consider the possibility that the kind of help you're giving is the best help possible. It could be that even though someone is asking for money, it may not be the most helpful thing for that individual or for those circumstances.

There is much more to be said on this subject, no doubt. I may return and re-edit.

--Wag--

Just do it.

2009-06-06T05:08:00.001-06:00

I wrote this on the Diabetes board the other day. Thought it would fit in here!

---------------------------------

This post falls into the category of, "What are we willing to do?"

"We," have developed a mentality, and by, "we," I mean people everywhere, of doing just about anything.....

We have a mentality of seeking the easy fix for any and all of our ills. We feel we don't have time to wait around for a solution to our problems, we want them solved right this instant.

Granted, we've succeeded at providing instant solutions for ourselves in many ways. We can go to a fast food restaurant just about 24/7 if we're hungry. A pill makes our headaches go away. Etc.

There are, however, some things for which we have yet to find our magic bullet. Yet, given our propensity to seek fast, easy solutions to so many ills in our lives, we tend to seek, or at least wait around for, the same types of fast, easy solutions to other problems instead of facing the reality.....

There ain't one.

Exercise is one extreme example. Years ago before my Dx as I struggled to lose extra weight, I read a lot of different diet plans and everyone one of them had one thing in common: At least one chapter on exercise. No joke. If you read any diet book, you'll see it has a chapter on exercise. Conversely, if you pick up any workout magazine or book, you'll see diet referenced in all of them.

The glaringly obvious is so simple to see: You cannot lose weight/get healthy/control BG/improve blood work etc. with either just exercise or just diet. You must have both going at the same time.

In times past, I've attempted to do either or but never, until my Dx, had I ever done both simultaneously. I was more than willing to deceive myself into believing that diet was enough or that exercise was enough. From personal (and admittedly anecdotal) experience, it has recently become clear that both are required.

I look at my father as an example of what not to do. When he died, he was 6' 2" and weighed over 300 pounds. I had to help carry the casket at his funeral and believe you me, that was no easy task. What was notable about my father toward the end of his life was that he had let himself get so overweight and out of shape that he could no longer exercise, even if he wanted to do so. He no longer had the option of working out, walking, bicycling or any other of the things which might have extended his life or at least improved the quality of his day to day life.

He was past the point of no return.

It's easy for me to preach. I know that there are many who are unable to exercise through no fault of their own. There are those who cannot eat certain beneficial things through no fault of their own. It's unfortunate and I understand that. If you can only exercise or only diet, do it. Do what you can do.

If you can do both, though, do both. What I'm talking about here with this mini-essay is, if you still have a choice, make that choice and take control. Do it now and reduce or eliminate the risk of not being able to do it at all. Once, I was asked the question: "If you CAN do better, SHOULD you?" It was a business-related question to be sure, but it applies here. Can you realistically do better than you're doing? Then why not? Are your excuses legitimate or are they just excuses? Are your priorites really aligned properly?

Last year, before my Dx, I reflected on the poor quality of my father's life for his last 10 years and I pondered on how he could barely move as he got older and on the fact that he suffered two major strokes in three years, the second of which killed him. He never did get control of his eating habits and never did exercise during his life. His body and his physiology deteriorated to the point of no return, to the point where he was no longer able to rescue himself.

Last year, I determined that I didn't want to live any more of my life in such a way that I was going to pass the point of no return. I started working out religiously. I didn't change my eating except to watch my portion sizes more closely and it helped. I lost some significant weight. But it wasn't until my Dx several months later that I combined exercise with a proper eating plan and lost MUCH more weight much faster.

The point of all this is very simple. It's tough to exercise but you know what? It's worth the momentary pain. Without exercise, we are unlikely to live the healthiest possible lifestyle we prefer. We may or may not extend our lives but what we WILL do is improve the quality of our lives. I believe longevity is pretty much built into our genes in any case and there isn't much we can do about that. But if you find yourself huffing and puffing after a short walk up a flight of stairs, think about it. If you find that you've eaten too much AGAIN, think about it. If you find yourself vegging in front of another mindless T.V. show, think about that, too.

Think about it. Seriously think and come to the conclusions you need to reach in order to motivate yourself to start working on it. I hear anecdotal stories all the time about how someone had a crappy life, often for many many years and turned things around completely just be getting on this bandwagon. That includes Diabetes control, too.

We resist exercise in many cases because of the pain of it. That's true for me, especially. It's boring. It's time-consuming. I'd rather be in front of my computer doing things which I consider more rewarding. Reading a book, etc. It's a trade-off. We can do the things we enjoy now or gradually give up the ability to do so.

If I don't exercise, I'm giving up several things in my future. All of a sudden, I'm more willing to get my butt off the couch or out of the chair and start doing. Moving more.

And the rewards? Numerous. To put it simply, everything is now easier to do. Even just getting up out of my chair is easier! No grunting any more! LOL

Mostly, I'm just rambling, but it seems that in our never-ending search for a "cure" we miss the closest thing we have to a cure and that is our diet and exercise regimen.

--Wag--

An update on diabetes

2009-05-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, so in January, I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. It's been a battle to get my blood sugar under control. Doing it mostly through diet and exercise but also using a pill called Metformin. Great stuff with the least side effects of all and the least dangerous of all the Diabetes drugs out there. Indeed, for the moment, it can be considered pretty harmless but it does good things for you without some of the dangerous side effects of some of the other drugs. It's an oral med too which makes it easy to live with.

The workouts are going well. I've lost 36 pounds since July of last year. 15 or so of that since the Diabetes was diagnosed in January.

Of course, the reality is, we as Americans consume about 5 bajillion times more sugar and carbohydrates than we need to live on. Carbs are less evil if you have a super duper active lifestyle but even that won't prevent Type II from settling in with you if you already have the genes for it. I only eat about 45 carbs a day on average and sometimes much much less than that. No ill effects so far but who knows? I could get blindsided with a problem later on down the road! The doc just did a urinalysis last week but we haven't talked about it. If there is a problem it would show up there. From what I can see, though, it isn't a problem.

One of the tests they do for diabetes is an HbA1C test. It seems that your red blood cells take an imprint of the maximum amount of blood sugar you have at a given time and they can test for it. I'm not explaining it very well but the bottom line is, every three months, your red blood cells are completely replaced. That means that every three months, they can test for the average imprint of blood sugar in the past three months and see how you've been dong for that period of time on average. Still necessary to test frequently on a daily basis too, though.

Anyhoo, back in January, I was tested with an A1C of 8.6. Last week, I was tested at 4.8. That's considered in a normal range, folks! What I'm doing appears to be working!

Let's celebrate with a tub of ice cream, a stack of waffles and a loaf of dark wheat bread with tons of butter and honey!

Just kidding about that last part. My feet would just about fall off on their own if I did that!

--Wag--

The Cymbalta nightmare

2009-04-17T19:58:00.001-06:00

Okay, some background. My Primary Care Physicia, or PCP, sent me to a podiatrist because of my foot pain. After some significant time in his office, he prescribed Cymbalta for it and had some free samples to give me which I cheerfully accepted.

Here is the post I made on diabetes.org this morning:

I took Cymbalta for nearly thee months and it nearly wrecked my life.

I'll never support the use of Cymbalta for DPN or anything else, for that matter. It works, yes, but there is a host of detrimental side effects that go along with it. Do your homework before agreeing to use it. Personally, the risks are not worth it to me.

The podiatrist I was going to suggested it and informed me of NONE of the side effects to watch out for. He only said that it's supposed to help with the foot pain and he prescribed it because the pain it was waking me up in the middle of the night.

Again, what he didn't tell me, were the side effects:

1. Insomnia. Yup. That's exactly what happened to me. So, instead of waking up for 30 minutes on many (but not all) nights with foot pain, I was waking up every night for 2 hours with no real clear reason as to why. BTW, this is the most significant side effect listed on the Eli Lilly web site. You'd think the doctor would have mentioned it and told me to watch out for it.

2. Elevated blood sugar. Unbelievable, eh? It's supposed to be a SLIGHT elevation but really, now, are we supposed to battle our own body's lack of blood sugar control AND battle a prescription drug too? Jeez. BTW, I stopped it cold turkey about three weeks ago and my BG levels have been getting lower since. Could be a combination of things but . . . . Regardless, I'm interested in controlling BG at every possible level and I do NOT need something working against me, even if it's at a low level.

3. Elevated Triglycerides, elevated LDL, lowered HDL. Again, I was battling these things, working hard to get them under control and Cymbalta was working against me. Unbelievable. I still don't have a final verdict on my lipids but at this point, I hate to think that there is a possibility that I could have had another drug added to my list of pharmaceuticals to control lipids and worse, one which I might not need. At the very least, I'm thinking I might need less of it if it comes down to it.

4. Lethargy was the one that nearly wrecked my life. I'm still catching up from the productivity losses I suffered at work. I'm amazed I wasn't fired during that time. The only way I can describe it looking back to when I was taking Cymbalta, is that it put me into a zombie like state. Since I stopped taking it, I've feel like I've reawakened. My productivity is literaly multiples on top of multiples greater than it was while on Cymbalta. I'm awake again and getting things done.

5. Urinary dysfunction. I was having symptoms which appears, for all intents and purposes, to be the same as the symptoms for prostate enlargement. Difficulty starting, reducde flow, feeling like the bladder is not completely empty, taking a long time to urinate, etc. I was just about to ask the PCP to start dealing with it, which would most likely have resulted in the need for YET ANOTHER prescription
drug. Once I stopped taking Cymbalta, those symptoms dissapated gradually over the past three weeks. There is still some residual effect but I think I'll wait to attempt to determine if the Cymbalta is still working its way out of my system or if I really do have a slight prostate enlargement or if the Cymbalta did some permanent damage. I don't know yet so I'm still reserving judgement. It is clear, however, that stopping the prescription use has improved that part of my life.

6. Sexual dysfunction. Again, I was just about to address this with the PCP and would most likely have ended up with another prescription drug such as Cialis or Viagra. Not really what I want but I don't want to be deprived, either. Just as importantly, I don't want my life mate deprived. Problems included not having a full erection, not being able to sustain an erection to orgasm, less satisfying orgasm or long LONG delays in reaching orgasm and not reaching orgasm at all. Notably, ALL of these problems went away within 36 hours after stopping Cymbalta.

7. Suicidal ideations. I didn't have anything seriously along these lines, but I was starting to get discouraged about the failings I was having. See #4 above. The problem is, you know you're failing but you can't do anything about it. Scary stuff, really. Some anecdotal incidents on the web sites out there include putting people on suicide watch. This could have resulted in yet another prescription for
depression, although Cymbalta is used for that, as well so who knows? Was I headed in this direction?

8. Cardiovascular issues. This one didn't seem too significant, however, with diabetics, would you want to add risk to an already risky situation in this area? Not me. I don't know and will never be able
to tell if Cymbalta caused any permanent damage. I'll be watching for class action lawsuits, I can assure you.

9. Nose bleeds and dry skin. Putting these together here because they may be related. Fact is, my nose bleeds have tapered off significantly and the dry skin patches have shrunk in size dramatically and are less dry. Still battling some nose bleeds (never had nose bleeds before Cymbalta) but they are tapering off, finally.

Net savings on not taking Cymbalta is at least FIVE fewer prescriptions at a co-pay of $30 each on my current insurance plan for a total savings of probably $150.00 per month. To say nothing of putting that many fewer unnecessary chems through my system. To say nothing of improving my quality of life dramatically. Already.

Google it. There are four benefits/uses listed for Cymbalta compared to a laundry list of potentially detrimental side-effects which will stretch from floor to ceiling and that's no exaggeration. Well, maybe a little. But the fact is, even mathematically, you will hit several of those side-effects. Which ones are you willing to live with?

I will say this: It did stop my DPN for the most part. Not completely, though, and mine isn't all that bad, either. I question the value of it for a guy like me who can take some Advil or Tylenol for the few times when it's bad enough to warrant that usage.

All I'm saying is, do your homework first. The podiatrist, I suspect, got a boat load of samples from a drug vendor/salesman and just dumped it on me without reading the insert. Who knows? I can't accuse him with 100% certainty, but at the very least, he didn't do his job with me.

I suppose the same applies to all care you receive from your physicians: Do your homework, folks. On EVERYTHING.

--Wag--

Semi-major announcement.

2009-04-10T08:45:00.002-06:00

Semi-Major Announcement

Originally, I was only going to send this to my siblings because it directly relates to them. However, it’s applicable to many and deserves the attention of others.

The good part of the story.

I’ll start with the good part of the story.

In July of 2008, my buddy and I were sitting around whining and complaining about how we were getting soooooo, lethargic and sedentary and how we just couldn’t get up the motivation to get anything done about our increasing waistlines. He had the equipment set up in his home in a spare bedroom and could work out but just never had the motivation after a long day at work. I was the same way, coming home every day, sitting in front of the T.V. and computer (at the same time!) and just being a lazy slug.

To be fair, actually, we weren’t really putting on a ton of weight but we sure weren’t doing ourselves any good and we weren’t taking any off. We were just whining and complaining about it. Which turned out to be a good thing, ultimately.

One fine Thursday, I called and said, “Mikey, I drive past your house every day on the way to and from work. I could just stop in and we could lift weights for an hour or so and it wouldn’t be any real problem. No gym, no muss, no fuss.” He said, “Sure, let’s do it!” So, the following Monday we set up to work out. And missed the day. Something came up. We finally got to it that Wednesday but, of course, the important thing is, we got to it finally.

From mid-July to November, 2008, we worked out nearly every week day after work. I lost about 10 or 15 pounds during that time. Not a record-breaker, of course, but it was a good steady pace and not unhealthy to be taking our time. Even though I had hopes of losing the weight, ultimately, that was not mine or Mikey’s motivation. We just wanted to get off our lazy hineys.

When you train with weights, you put on muscle which has a greater density than fat and weight loss on the scale actually translates to greater loss of mass on the body as your fat melts off and your muscles grow. That fact was evidenced by my gradually shrinking waistline. One of the other benefits of weight training is that muscle tissue requires fuel and as you develop your musculature, it just sits there in your body burning lots of needed fuel which comes from your fat stores.

The list of benefits to the body is virtually endless and I won’t go into it here.

An interruption

In November, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, Nanette and I were on our way to a charity benefit ride on our motorcycles. As we left the house, it was very cold and my motorcycle’s tires were very cold. If you don’t know already, cold tires on any vehicle simply don’t grab the road very well. Most people in cars don’t have any issues with this because they don’t drive aggressively enough to cause a skid on dry, cold pavement.

On a motorcycle, though, it’s a real concern and a significant danger. When a motorcycle tire is cold, it can slip quite easily, even on dry pavement. I have always known this but usually keep my attention on the back tire and I always take it easy on the throttle so as not to spin out when my tire hasn’t warmed up yet.

I forgot about the front tire.

As I went to make the first turn at the end of my street, my front tire washed out on me and dumped me on the ground. I was going less than 10 mph and though slightly stunned, I shook it off, the bike started up again and we took riding for the rest of the day. I’ll interject, that if you buy a bike and ride, buy all the leather gear with armor and helmet. Looking at the damage to my equipment and riding gear, it saved me a great deal of pain and suffering, even for a low speed crash.

I was having a slight pain in the left side of my abdomen, just under the rib cage but it seemed insignificant and I just figured I’d bruised a rib when I hit the ground. It was a little tough to breathe was the only thing.

That evening, I was REALLY hurting. My abdominal area was in pain and my left shoulder was killing me. Nothing helped. Some pain killers helped me sleep a bit and I went to work the next day thinking it was still just a little minor bruising of some kind and that I would get over it. I hadn’t hit my shoulder when I went down off the bike so that didn’t make sense to me. It just hurt. A lot.

Cutting a lot of story out of here for the moment. I went to the ER the following afternoon, they did their thing and determined that I had lacerated my spleen and lost a lot of blood into my abdomen (I could feel it sloshing around) and that I was lucky it wasn’t any worse.

Well, of course. A serious spleen injury would have bled me to death in mere minutes the previous morning! I was lucky. They determined that I didn’t need surgery and would likely heal up on my own.

Of course, the Dr. told me no riding, no working out, nothing. The pain was pretty intense for a couple of weeks, though, so I couldn't eat anyway and continued to lose a bit of weight, even though I wasn’t working out. I was off the workouts for about six weeks before the Dr. cleared me to ride and work out again and Mikey and I got back to it.

The real reason for this story and the announcement

At the end of January, after resuming my work outs with Mikey and continuing to shed the pounds and inches, I finally decided I needed to get myself down to a doctor’s office for my forty-year old checkup and tune up. Of course, I was three years late. I didn’t feel exactly unhealthy but there were a few minor things which were making me wonder. Nothing major, just some things which I’ll get into in a moment.

We talked, he ordered the usual blood work and I went to have my blood drawn the next day and then set a follow-up appointment with the Dr. for three weeks down the road. Of course, I can’t stand to have to wait for results or anything so I asked around and was able to get my test results that afternoon.

Nothing was in the right place. Well, actually, most of the tests were perfectly normal except the cholesterol. All of those numbers were slightly out of the maximums or in the case of HDL the minimum. The triglycerides were significantly out of whack.

The big thing was the fasting blood glucose test (FBG). Mine was 335. The test page said it should be between 80 and 120. I didn’t know for certain but something jogged my thoughts to the point where I asked around a bit and realized that I was probably diabetic and that a number that high was actually quite dangerous.

I waited for the Dr. to call me in a panic, telling me to get in there and get started on some pills or something. No call. After a week, I wasn’t too happy at all with the lack of attention from the doctor. My brother-in-law and I were talking about it and he had an extra test meter which he showed me how to use. I started testing and realized that the first test at the lab was actually much higher than what I was probably normally at in every day life. I don’t remember how high those first few self-tests were that week but they were too high.

So, after not hearing from the Dr. for about 10 days, I called in and demanded that the Dr. see me ASAP. He worked me in the next afternoon and we started treating this.

Some things I’ve learned.

Well, of course, there were a wide range of emotions of all kinds as I started to confront this. It isn’t like cancer which is going to kill me in a couple weeks. But it’s a dang inconvenience at best. I had started testing all the time, worrying about what I was doing to myself when I eat, blaming myself for the onset of the diabetes, ticked off because I’ve always been healthy as a horse all of my life. . . .

The works.

But in the meantime, I’ve been educating myself about it and have learned a ton. This self-education is the reason for writing to you, my brothers and my sisters. I’m thinking that it would be useful for you to know this and you’ll see why in the very next paragraphs.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that it’s a genetic abnormality. It isn’t something you can give yourself by neglect or even intent. There is a prevailing, false rumor out there that people who allow themselves to be overweight will contract diabetes. I’ve learned that that isn’t remotely true. There are plenty of grossly overweight people out there who have no issues with blood sugar control and there are plenty of normally-weighted people who discover that they have it. So, you can’t tell by looking at someone that they are prone to diabetes although you could justify testing for it.

As I said, it’s strictly genetic and is passed on through the genes. As you all know, Mom and Grandma Wagner both were diagnosed as Type II Diabetics within the last 15 or so years. As Mom so truthfully put it, “You’re getting it from both sides of your parentage.” That was years ago and she was telling me, essentially, to watch myself. I didn’t not take her seriously, but for some reason, I thought I had plenty of time to keep an eye out for it.

During the year or so prior to beginning my workouts with Mikey, however, I had started to notice some things which caused me to wonder. Even though it was all relatively minor stuff, it was, as I said, concerning. Diabetes is called the silent killer. It just sneaks up on people. The little symptoms don’t seem like a big deal until one day, you’re in the ER with your blood glucose through the roof and you’re losing a leg.

That’s no joke. It happens. Larry Miller, a man living in Salt Lake City who owns many car dealerships and other businesses in the Southwestern U.S., and who was a very wealthy man was put in the hospital a few months ago and had both of his legs amputated. A few weeks later, he died from complications of his diabetes. I don’t know his whole medical history, of course, but I have to wonder if it was something he was ignoring because of his busy schedule or just not really realizing that his pains were not just from aging.

I do know what it was for me, which is what I intend to attempt to communicate to you. I was lucky to be diagnosed so early in the progression of it.

The symptoms and warning signs

I ignored these, partly because I was not really all that clear on them, partly because I was in denial and thought I could just cut most sugar from my diet to prevent it and partly because I genuinely didn’t recognize all the symptoms as being related to a problem like diabetes, regardless of Mom and Grandma having had it. I was also actually making several excuses to myself and I think somewhere deep down, I was simply denying what was going on.

First memorable symptom was raging thirst, especially at night. I started keeping a water bottle on the night stand and sometimes, would wake up and chug the whole thing.

In addition, I would find myself getting up three or four times a night to pee. I also remember that there were times when I would eat a dinner high in carbs, such as rice (sushi!) or lots of bread or pasta and would spend the rest of the night getting up every hour on the hour to pee.

Also, early on, I noticed that my feet would itch incessantly whenever I went to bed. I didn’t really connect that to anything but I thought it was just some kind of allergy to laundry soap or something. Now, looking back, I think it could have been an early symptom.

As time went on, I would occasionally have a sharp, piercing pain in my foot. Right before I went to the Dr., my feet finally developed some numbness in the toes and some numbness on the bottom of my feet right behind the ball of my foot. It felt like my sock had wadded itself up, even though I would check and it was just fine. Sometimes, I felt like my feet were freezing cold but if I took my shoe off and rubbed it down, it was warm to the touch of my hand.

Another symptom was that I was tired all the time. You know that tired feeling you get after a big meal like Thanksgiving? I was getting that feeling after eating minimal amounts and the sleepiness would come on completely uncontrollably and I’d go out like a light. Behind my desk at work, on the couch at home, at a friend’s house, etc. Never behind the wheel of the car, though. I just don’t drive that much any more anyway.

Sugar cravings were a big part of it. I would find myself just simply lusting after anything sweet, anything bread related, cereal, pasta, corn, that kind of thing. French Fries were a constant craving, it seemed. Something about diabetes just makes you want that easy sugar rush all the time.

Weight gain is now thought to be a symptom of diabetes and it is thought that people with diabetes who are overweight probably became overweight because of diabetes rather than the other way around. It could be a symptom, or so the studies are starting to show. Yet, some people who are not remotely overweight will develop diabetes. Grandma was an example of this.

When I was in the hospital after the motorcycle spill, they tested my blood sugar at 147. I asked the doctor at the time if that wasn’t a bit high and he said that it is but they felt that it was because of the blood pooling up in my abdominal cavity. I think this was the catalyst for going to the family doctor for the 43 year old tune up!

Even though diabetes is genetic, prevailing thought is that it may lie dormant in many cases until it is triggered by an event or a long cycle of habits. Even though you can’t eat yourself or laze yourself into diabetes, you may not have the best of eating habits and that could cause it to trigger. You may be sedentary and cause it to trigger. There is the possibility that an exposure to a fertilizer or a bug spray or some other chemical catalyst could trigger it.

It could just as easily, however, simply land on you with both feet regardless of how you treat your body, good or bad.

The bottom line here is that about the only thing the medical profession is sure of is that it is genetic in most cases. We joke about eating ourselves into diabetes and yeah, it’s funny. The fact is, however, it’s just not the way it works.

The conclusion for our families.

So. What next? It’s kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand, I didn’t ask for this, of course. On the other hand, I’m sitting at the card table of life with this crappy hand and asking for four more cards. I can’t, however, give this one back. It has to be played. Fortunately, technology and learning have made it possible to control diabetes and live a normal life for the most part.

People will say, “Well, now you can’t eat this or that and you have to exercise all the time and and and. . .THAT’s not a ‘normal’ life!”

Um, actually, it is. What’s not normal is sitting around all the time getting no exercise, eating crap food and putting on excess weight without regard to one’s health. That’s the life I used to live. Pretty sad that in our society today, “normal,” has come to be defined as, “Doing whatever we wish without regard to the consequences.”

After the diagnosis, I’ve started to realize that the diabetic lifestyle is probably more “normal” than the way most people live. We should be getting exercise once or even twice a day. We should be limiting the amount of carbohydrates we eat. We should be making sure we get enough rest every night. The reality is, most people in this country don’t live a normal life at all with regard to their health.

I say this as an offshoot of a comment my doctor made. He said, “The diabetic diet is actually the diet everyone should live on. It’s about the healthiest diet out there!” I think he may be right, though I think the diet that is generally proposed by diabetic nurses and doctors is still not quite right. Each person is different, however, so no one diet can actually be applied to everyone.

Some thoughts.

I’m only telling you all of the above because as a genetic disorder, all y’all have the potential, through your genes, to have this problem yourselves. Also, it’s possible that you’ve been privileged to pass it on to your kids. The bottom line, of course, is that you will want to keep an eye on yourselves. There is no right age to check. Check it every year with your doctor and make sure your fasting blood glucose is never above 120. If it is, time to do further testing. Realize, too, that many doctors will not give you the proper testing until that number hits 140 or even 160 but studies are showing that peripheral neuropathy (that foot pain I was describing) and retinopathy (blindness) and a host of other disorders and physical damage can occur even at levels just above 100.

As a footnote (pun intended!) the pain in my feet continued long enough to cause permanent damage. It isn’t going to go away. I’m fortunate, however, in that this was caught before it got bad enough to cause loss of limb! Also, I believe whole-heartedly that I’m not going to have any further damage.

A “normal” range for your blood glucose while fasting is 85 and maxes just over 100 for a VERY short period of time after eating. Around 30 to 60 minutes typically. Then the glucose level drops again as the insulin in your body kicks in and clears most of it out of your blood. Everyone is different, of course, so if you get an FBG test over 100 or 120, it would be a good idea to explore it further with your doctors. Better to know than to lose a leg or a kidney!

In conclusion.

I’ve lost 30 pounds since last July. I intend to lose another 15 to 20 and see where I’m at from there. I’ve lost at least two sizes off my waist and look forward to losing more. If you want to know how much 30 pounds is, go to a grocery store and pile up 30 pounds of hamburger in the meat section and see how much volume that takes up. The fat in your body takes up about that much volume. As I said, though, the muscle you develop will weigh more per size so there is the possibility that while I’ve lost 30 pounds on the scale, I’ve lost 35 in fat.

Who knows?! I’m just glad of it regardless.

More importantly, I’ve gained greater control over my body and mind. It’s very true that the diabetic “diet” is healthy. It promotes normal weight and promotes the idea that an individual can actually take control and do what it takes to engage themselves in their own treatment. In fact, it’s practically mandatory!

While I didn’t ask for this or want it, there is a certain irony that now that I have this disorder, I’ve actually become healthier than I was before. Or thought I was. I’ve got a lot to learn, still, but for the most part, I think I know the basics and can confront this without further major issues.

Of course, I’m more than happy to go into more detail if anyone feels they need it.

Hoping you have the healthy lives you desire and

Much love,

--Wag--

Coping with a loss

2009-01-18T08:50:00.002-07:00

A man on a forum I frequently post on asked, how to cope with the loss of a loved one. It reminds me that I never wrote about any of the people in my life who have passed away. Here are some thoughts:

=============

Coping with the loss of a loved one can be tough.

Some stories from my life. I think I've managed to cope very well and bring closure but I also think I've been very fortunate in this regard as you may see when reading this.

I should start by saying, as an atheist I don't believe in an afterlife. As a result, I don't believe people have gone to a better place but I do believe suffering can come to an end which is a good thing, of course. Also, all of the people in my life who have passed away have been older and have lived full, exciting and wonderful lives. I look at those people's passing as a transition and seeing them die, while very very sad, was not a tragedy. I don't honestly know how I would deal with the death of a small child.

Years ago, I was talking to my grandmother on the phone while she was in the hospital. She had been in for a few weeks and it was too far for me to drive just to visit so I called. Also, she was in the hospital for something non-terminal so we had no reason to expect her to die and yet, a week later, she had passed away from complications. I remember quite fondly that conversation we had on the 'phone 'cause we talked about everything for a couple of hours.

When I went to her funeral, I refused to view her body in the casket. That wasn't the memory I wanted of my beloved grandmother. The only blemish was all my family members who kept trying to get me to go in there and view the body rather than let me grieve in my own fashion and hold to the memories I preferred over seeing her in death. I didn't let it happen.

To this day, I don't have a memory of her in death, only in life. I can still picture her sitting in the living room on quiet evenings reading as she sat in her recliner, just a frail woman but with so much life in her eyes. Or working in the kitchen or chatting with her about politics and the crap hole this country has fallen into or any other of dozens and dozens of memories.

-------------

A year later, her husband, my grandfather was in the hospital and while it wasn't deemed terminal, it was rather serious. We went to visit him in person, not because we were afraid he was going to die right off but because we needed to see him.

When we got there and began chatting with him, it was readily apparent that he was not himself. Not sick, just not his usual garrulous, engaging, charming self. What I mean is, his mind was preoccupied. Somehow, the conversation turned to Grandma. It was like turning on a light switch. He opened up and for about an hour, we talked about nothing but her. When the conversation reached the time of her passing the previous year the conversation sputtered out again.

I said, "You miss Grandma, don't you?"

He replied, "Yeah, I really do."

I told him, "You have nothing holding you here. Go be with her."

He just nodded. I continued for another moment, "We'll miss you but we want you to be happy." Mind you, as I said earlier, I don't believe in an afterlife, but I knew he did and it was obviously comforting to him to have permission from SOMEbody to go ahead and move on from life.

We hugged him and told him goodbye and drove home.

A week later, he gathered his four adult children around him, said goodbye to them and passed away. He died with a smile on his face in their company. I contemplated my relationship with him with a smile on my face. I didn't go to his funeral. Why would I? I have spectacular memories of him.

--------------

2007 was a shitty year for us.

A very close friend of ours was diagnosed with breast cancer and after battling it for a little over a year, in May of '07, she passed away. She died at home in the arms of her loving husband. She was too young to die but she went with grace and dignity and beauty. If there was ever a classy way to die, she did it.

Once again, though, we had visited her a month prior and had the privilege of being able to say goodbye. By that time, she knew. We all knew she was going to die soon. We went and said the most heartfelt goodbye ever. There were a lot of tears because we knew we weren't going to see each other again. We left heartbroken but knowing that she had lived a life to be envied.

When she died the following month, we went to the funeral but since she had been cremated, there was no need to avoid a casket. We went to be supportive to her husband, also our very good friend (and in the throes of a battle with cancer himself) and to her children.

--------------------------

Thanksgiving of 2007 rolled around and my wife's grandmother was visiting for the holiday. She just didn't travel well and spent most of the week not feeling well. She was 94 years old and had had a great life too. A hard life, but she felt that she had lived it to the fullest. She spent most of the time sleeping while she was here. She had some medical issues which we were able to help her with but she was just dang tired.

We didn't necessarily anticipate that she was going to pass away any time soon but we felt it was probably going to be a moderate surprise in the next year or so. We told her not necessarily goodbye but we did let her know that we loved her dearly and it had always been a pleasure to know her. She made it clear that she wanted to pass away and we told her that if she did, we would miss her but that it was okay for her to go.

I think that was comforting to her. She seemed to relax a lot more then.

She went home and about a week later, we made sure we got my wife's brother up there to visit her. He came away having said goodbye and thanking us for letting him know so he could fly out and talk to her one last time. He told us that he felt she was going to pass soon. A couple of days later, she did pass away. Again, her life was a life we all celebrated.

----------------

Christmas of 2007, a few days before the actual holiday, our friend battling cancer and whose wife had passed in May was admitted to the hospital. We didn't know it right off but it would be his last time and while we had hopes of him doing okay, the doctors kept saying that his systems were shutting down. As the days progressed, his prognosis was worse and worse. We went to visit him. He was nearly a carbon-copy of my grandfather: very much missing his late wife.

As we visited with him over a three-day period of time, the doctors kept saying that his systems were continuing to shut down and that there was nothing that could be done. He was weak and could barely move from the bed to the bathroom. More than once, I had to assist my friend with his movements and that was the easy part.

Saying goodbye and leaving him there with his family was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But we were able to chat over those few days about all of our memories, memories of his late wife and of all the things we had done together over the past few years. To this day, I feel that I have closure.

He passed away the day after Christmas with his loved ones surrounding him.

----------------

I don't know why I tell those stories. I don't feel that I need the therapy of writing it out but I do feel that it has the potential to be comforting to others.

I have complete closure for the few deaths I've encountered in my life. My perspective is that death is merely a final step. If life has been lived to its fullest, there is no great tragedy. Life is beautiful and while saying goodbye in person has been my greatest good fortune with regard to death, I think that it's appropriate to say goodbye. If one doesn't have the opportunity to do so in person, then after the fact is also very good.

Reflecting and talking about the beauties of the person is good too. When people avoided the subject with me, it was painful. When I was able to have a friend listen to me speak my thoughts, that was the best thing for me. Again, I was fortunate to have people in my life who were willing to listen to my thoughts and it brought closure quite easily.

------------------------------

I rambled a lot up there. I hope it was worthwhile. If you can, please take the time to say goodbye to your loved one even if it's been a while. It has meaning and it can help in ways you'll only understand afterward.

My best,

--Wag--

Why did you choose THAT belief?

2009-01-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me a few days ago that most people don't even understand why they believe the way they do. Of course, it doesn't cause me any personal concern and yet, I wonder just what it is that makes people believe what they do. I'm not just talking about religion, though that is a huge part of it. Politics, historical information, biographical information about famous people, the kinds of cars people think are the best. . . . You name it. Nearly every belief to which people cling is pretty much just there.

Of course, many of us have very clear reasons why we believe a certain thing and yet, for many of our other beliefs, we may have no clue why we believe as we do.

I just read a comment recently which said that most people adhere to the same religion of their geography for their entire life. That means, of course, that your religion, first of all, is determined by the surroundings in which you were raised and that you are more likely than not, never going to change your religion throughout your life. That doesn't mean you won't change sects within a religion. Baptists become Methodists on occasion but they're still essentially Christian.

Or how many people do you know still buy Chevy's because that's what Daddy always bought? Funny how people are. Or they're Democrats because Mom and Dad and Uncle Bob are all Democrats. It's why bad politicians get re-elected year after year after year after year and it's why term limits don't pass. Ever. People don't really want change, that's for sure.

Einstein once said, "Insanity is when you keep doing the same ol' thing but you expect different results." Or something like that. Yup. If you keep having car trouble, maybe it's time to switch to a Ford.

Or if you're unhappy, switch to Buddhism. Or vote Republican. I don't know. But don't keep doing the same ol' thing.

At the very least, challenge your beliefs in an honest way (difficult to do) and see what happens. You might be surprised.

--Wag--

The Problems of Philosophy

2009-01-01T08:17:00.001-07:00

Just finished reading this book. My comments:

The Problems of Philosophy by Bertrand Russell

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Outstanding book. I admit, I don't understand it all but it's becoming more clear and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. The dialogue on thought processes, formation of belief and the determination of truth is highly enlightening. Thinking in abstract is such a critical part of understanding this particular book. I don't have a lot of experience with philosophy but I suspect that such is true of most such tomes.

Will post further updates!

--Wag--

Update: Finished reading this book yesterday. It leaves me feeling like I've been further enlightened and of having had my mind expanded. It was an effort for me to read this because, as I mentioned above, I don't have much experience with philosophy. Yet, it has expanded my horizons.

Don't get me wrong. It did not give me a list of answers to the tough questions of life, the universe and myself, but it has greatly expanded my perception of all of these things. I don't feel, necessarily, that I'm suddenly a better person because of it, either, but I do feel that I've been given ideas and thoughts on how to become that better person.

--Wag--

View all my reviews.

Cookin' with Wag

2008-12-27T14:23:00.001-07:00

Check out my new blog!

Cookin' With Wag

I posted the best stuff first so it's at the bottom. Enjoy!

--Wag--

Book Readers introduction

2008-12-27T05:07:00.001-07:00

As mentioned in my prior post, I put up a couple of introductions to new groups this morning.

Here's the second one.

--------------------------------

I posted a LONG introduction on the motorcycle board a moment ago. I won't bore you with that same intro. Suffice it to say, I'm looking forward to the discussion and commentary of this board. Looks like some good people and discussion here!

Probably the only good thing my parents ever did was instill a love of books within me. My grandmother on my father's side was a big boost too. One of the very few worthwhile things my dad ever did was read to us as kids but he never just read a book to us. Somehow, he brought them to life. He was no great actor, I'm sure, but to him, books were not just meant to be read to the kids. They were meant to be dramatized. Scary books became terrifying. Love stories made us cry. Dick and Jane were real people. We wanted to know what the giant octopus was going to do to the sailors in the boat. We couldn't wait to hear if the troll had billy goat gruff for lunch.

A blanket to hide under or a tissue to cry in was required equipment whenever dad read a story to us. I don't have kids but when I read to nieces or nephews, I try to do the same thing. I'm not that good at it but I've learned something very very important: The kids don't care. They ALWAYS love it, no matter how badly I do the story. Yes, in the mind of a child, it brings a story to life.

You can picture the graphic: A book is opened and out comes a parade of knights in shining armor, spacemen, creatures, faraway lands with snow-covered mountains and lost mines all clamoring for your attention and giving you the best of worlds both real and imagined.

Yeah. You know you've been there before. In front of the fireplace, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and a cuppa hot comfort. Lost in a book.

Until you have to pee again. :-)

As I've grown up, my love for books has grown more and more and more. I still read fantasies and sci-fi and still love them dearly. Books like Lord of the Rings (30 plus readings to date), Dune, Aztec, Dragonriders of Pern and others of their peers. Lately, I've started reading more non-fiction and find that there is just as much thrill as there ever was in the fiction. Biographies of Lincoln and Einstein, histories of New Mexico, discussions of the flaws of philosophy, essays on religion and morality and truth and fiction, histories of tragic world events.

I read with a pencil. A pencil allows me to talk to a book. If you're ever at my house and you see one of my books, you'll see that I write in the margins a LOT. A pencil allows me to become a part of my books and my books to become a part of me. What better way to own my books than to write in them and converse with them so I remember them better?

Yeah, I love to read. As I look through some of the discussion here on this forum, it's obvious that there are a lot of other like-minded people here. I hope we can all have fun together!

--Wag--

Biker introduction

2008-12-27T05:04:00.001-07:00

I posted an introduction of myself to a new local biker group this morning. It tells a bit about me that I thought would be appropriate here. Another intro to a local book group will follow in a moment.

Here we go.

-------------------------

Hello, everyone. K. invited me to check out the group and consider joining up. Thank you, K. Very much appreciate the thought.

It was a close call, whether or not to join. For the most part, it has to do with the fact that I already prowl around four different motorcycle forums, a gun forum, a book forum and wish I had time for several others in which I've participated over the last couple of years. It just takes time to be a worthwhile participant in such a forum, that's all! I don't do too many things halfway and when I do, it's guilt-trip time! Unfortunately, I have to pick and choose. I hope I can contribute here in a worthwhile way.

In my profile, I said my interests are something like, piano, motorcycles, books and guns. If you ever figure that one out, let me know. I'm still working on it. I should say, those are my primary interests. If something catches my eye, I'll dabble in it for a while to see if it sticks.

I've been riding motorcycles of various flavors for 35 years, give or take a year or two. I don't recall how old I was when a buddy let me try to ride his motorcycle. I couldn't have been more than 9 or 10 years old. I got on it and he said, "Pull in the clutch." I pulled it in. He said, "Kick start it." I kick started it. He said, "Give it some gas." I gave it some gas. He said, "Now, let go of the clutch!"

I let go of the clutch.

In an instant, I was on the ground, the motorcycle was 20 feet away on its side. The kicker was not that he was mad or that I was hurt (I wasn't) or that the bike was damaged (It was, slightly). The kicker was that there were about six of my friends standing around at the time, watching. One or two of them nearly got tagged by the runaway bike. Try to live that down over the years!

I was hooked. Naturally.

"Dad, can I have a bike," I asked a couple of days later.

"Sure, son. Save up the money and I'll help you buy one. In fact, I'll pay for half of it."

"Really?"

"Sure, son. What kind of bike do you want?"

"I want one like Ron Harris has."

My dad went a little pale and he lowered his newspaper to stare me down. It was that decidedly un-fatherly stare that let's you know that what's about to be said next is the gospel truth, you aren't going to be given a chance to debate the truth of it and if you do, you're going to learn the truth through the seat of your pants 'cause you were too stupid to learn it through the other end of your anatomy.

"You mean the motorcycle?"

"Yeah, Dad." It was difficult to put any excitement back into my voice because "the look" had already answered my original request. Dad put his paper back up to reading position and I couldn't see his face any more as he ended the conversation with the atomic bomb:

"No, son, you can't have a motorcycle. You'll kill yourself with it."

I love that movie, "A Christmas Story." You can see why. You also understand, if you know the movie, that the surest way to make a kid want something is to tell him he can't have it. In fact, with the exception of books, most or all of my interests today have stemmed from the stern denials of my parents. I spent days trying to figure out the best way to dramatically end my life in such a way that my parents would agonize forever over how badly they had treated me. Good grief, Charlie Brown, I mean Ralphie, I mean Wag!! LMAO

I wanted a motorcycle so bad that for years, I was in pain and suffering. Especially since I had to watch ALL of my peers since they ALL had motorcycles. Ron was not really a friend after I wrecked his bike in that glorious tenth of a second. He sure wasn't going to let me ride his bike any more. A couple of years later, his family moved and I never saw them again.

Another kid moved to our school and he and his family had LOTS of motorcycles and they were the newest and bestest of the day. I had to sneak in my bike riding because, of course, my abusive father and mother would've literally killed me if I had been caught riding a motorcycle. I had an uncle with an old beat up Yamaha (I think) which my dad would let us ride from time to time because we were being "supervised" by my uncle, as my father thought. But my buddy had a great RM125 and and an RM80 among others and we would sneak in rides as often as possible. Our secret, somehow, never leaked.

My bosom buddy didn't necessarily tell me that his bike was my bike but he acted like it and let me ride whenever he could.

My family moved halfway across the country when I was between my junior and senior year and that ended my bike riding days. Sad, too, because we moved to the hill country of Missouri and the riding there would have been perfect. But the hunting was great too! I wasn't allowed to have a gun but was allowed to borrow grandad's 20 guage for hunting squirrels and birds of various kinds. Just couldn't have one of my own. Dammit. Oh, well. Guess what I started buying lots of as soon as I moved out and could afford it?

Before that, however, the moment I could afford it, I bought a CB400. Mostly, I bought the motorcycle so I could commute without having to take the bus. The freedom was exhilarating! It was my first ever motorcycle, of course. A few months later, a hit and run driver took me out as he ran a red light. Bastid. I mostly recovered in a couple months from relatively minor injuries.

Back on the bus. It was about two years later that I bought a 750 Shadow. Very much like the Magna of the time, not at all like the Shadow of today. I rode it for a year or so, but it developed some expensive repair needs that I didn't have the equipment or the money to solve. So, I sold it to a guy who had the willingness and the wherewithal to deal with it's issues. A couple years after that, I bought an 1100 Katana and absolutely loved it.

It had been bored out to a 1260 and had the engine blueprinted, a full system exhaust and airbox mod and a couple other things, I don't recall. It was keeping up with the 1100 Gixxer race bikes of the day and my world was complete! I kept that bike for about two years and then sold it to my sister's brother. I don't think she was all that happy about it. Took the proceeds and bought a piano to resume work as a musician. Different story there for a different time.

I went 12 years without a bike and regretted every moment of it. Every time I saw a motorcycle on the road, my heart nearly broke in two. But money was tight and it just wasn't feasible. It would have been one thing if I HAD to ride, but I didn't so I waited for the right opportunity. In truth, I really thought I'd never ride again. In the meantime, I kept up with the other important things in my life but the hole that was left in my heart just wouldn't heal up.

Finally, at the end of 2004, I finally got a bonus which made it possible to start shopping around. I found a 2003 Hayabusa for sale with only 4,000 miles on it and some custom mods. I didn't even know what I was buying, really, I just liked the sound of the bike when the sales guy started it up!

Sold!

Now that Busa has 50,000+ miles on it and will likely get another 50K in short order. I can only hope!

There are more details to the story but I'm sure they will get filled in over time.

Looking forward to meeting some of you I don't know and refreshing other acquaintances. Cheers!

--Wag--

Book Review

2008-11-29T21:25:00.002-07:00

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
I like this book a great deal. At the risk of fulfilling a prophecy of the book, let me first make a disclaimer or two.

1. It is not the end-all solution to all the world's problems.
2. The presentation of the first few pages is a bit off-putting to those who are realists such as myself.

Having said that, however, it's easy to read past the "uncomfortable" bits and glean some very good, very helpful and best of all, very motivational thoughts. The book "feels" good, if you will.

I thought The Four Agreements tended to suggest that we quash all emotion but I also think that likely wasn't the true intent of Mr. Ruiz. His approach makes it a bit difficult to tell for certain except for one very quick sentence. My opinion, regardless, is that emotion is an essential part of our being and it is required of us to be fully human. Therefore, it should not be quashed It is, however, important to master how we express our emotions when we are beset by them.

It should also be mentioned that it's not possible to understand the agreements by reading the flyleaf. Oh, no! You have to read the book in order to fully understand the full scope and intent of it, especially as the agreements relate to oneself. For example, it's important to be impeccable with your word, the first agreement. Not only to others but to yourself. It's hinted at in the flyleaf but you have to read the book to get the full depth of what it means to be impeccable with yourself, too.

This is a book about kick-starting thought processes. It's a book about re-thinking why you believe what you believe. Did you choose your beliefs? I feel you did, even if you did it unconsciously. Do you know why you chose your beliefs? If you did it unconsciously, you may not know why. You should find out. If you just accepted your beliefs as they were spoon fed to you by your parents or a religious leader, perhaps you believe blindly. Maybe you're okay with that but I believe everyone should exert some introspection and make a determination as to why.

Doing so will do one of two (or many) things:

1. It will affirm your current faith and drive you to a long life of fulfilling those beliefs with greater passion and ever greater satisfaction, without the snobbishness which comes from those who believe dogmatically and unthinkingly

or

2. It will set you on a path of self-discovery and personal growth, driving you to a long life of self-fulfillment and confidence, knowing that it is important to believe in the idea of discovering new things whenever possible, throughout the rest of your life.

I can see that it would be easy to become dogmatic about The Four Agreements or Mr. Ruiz's other works. My feeling, however, is that we can benefit the most by using this kind of writing as a launching pad for a lifetime of continuous self-introspection, discovery and refinement of belief and thought.

--Wag--

View all my reviews.

Memoirs of Don and Emily - Part 3

2008-11-29T19:52:00.002-07:00

Most of my free time was spent with Grandpa. Grandma and I got along swimmingly, of course, but Grandpa and I had a lot more in common with each other. As I spent time with him, I realized just how tough his life had been. Grandma didn't get into that kind of discussion with me but Granddad told me much about her life as well and I came to know that they had not had an easy life in any sense of the word.

I sometimes think about how they saw the world change around them. I don't recall the exact years of their births but seem to recall they were born early enough to know the pain and suffering of the Great Depression. As a result, they knew the need for hard work, whether it be physical or mental. They clawed their way through most of their lives with a minimum of the physical necessities. Whatever they had was valuable and important and luxury? Puh-leeze! They simply didn't have any.

Their most valuable possessions after their religion was their education.

Based on some VERY personal conversations I had with both Grandma and Grandpa, I won't discuss their religious beliefs here.

As for their educations, they felt that above all other things, this was the most valuable possession they owned. I came to realize that it was true. With their educations, they were able to rise above their surroundings. The people surrounding them and the circumstances surrounding them. With education, they moved past the suffering of the Depression and of poor circumstances and essentially lifted themselves up by their bootstraps. Anyone else out there ever build their own house brick by brick? I know some have but very very few.

Education, to them, was critical. I should mention that it didn't just mean that they had a sheepskin on the wall, though they both had that as well. Grandpa in particular was the kind of man who, if he wanted to learn how to do something, would ask, study, research and do whatever it took to find out how to do what he wanted. He demonstrated how education can frequently be obtained outside the walls of institutional learning. Often, that wasn't good enough and he found it well within his capacity to add creativity and inventiveness and make it better thah what had been originally conceived in his mind or the minds of others. Hence, his ability to build a house from the ground up, grow every plant known to man, keep his home and yard in good repair and generally, make his life more and more comfortable as he moved through life.

Interestingly enough, even though I never knew any of the details of their finances, they lived quite conservatively and never to excess. Grandpa drove the same ol' beat up pickup truck for as many years as I could remember, before and after my stay with them. Grandma drove the same ol' Pontiac that she had when I was a little kid. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think I ever saw either of them with a new car. Seems like they must have bought a new car after their bad accident a few years after my departure but I don't recall that I ever saw it. Amazing, though, to think that they valued thier possessions enough to make something like that last for 20 years, give or take.

I think it's notable that they took very good care of their furniture, too. It seems that most of what they owned they had had for a long, long, LONG time. It was so well cared for, it seemed, that it could be considered only slightly used but I know it had been around a while. One thing is certain, their conservativism made it possible to have a very comfortable retirement. Some of that came from their pensions but much of it also came from their apparent habit of saving and watching their spending very closely.

Midway through my stay with them, Grandpa bought a computer. To this day, I'm not 100% sure what his original motivations were but I do know that it was a boon to me. I didn't have to use the manual typewriter for term papers any more! Grandpa diligently taught himself to use the computer and I did likewise. Sometimes, I would stay up until 4:00am on a weekend, just learning how to do what I wanted to do with it. I made every effort to make sure I didn't take too much of Grandpa's time on the computer and even though he never said anything to me about it, in hindsight, I wonder if he ever felt any frustration at how much time I was spending on it. Grandpa did use that computer, though he tended to use it more as a glorified typewriter and expressed a significant degree of frustration with it. Still, he learned, I taught him as much as I could and he learned well.

Amazingly, he was, as I hinted above, the kind of man who could learn throughout his life. Even though later on he had to carry around a stack of note cards to keep in touch with what he wanted to do, he could learn new things quite readily. The computer was one of them and in spite of his frustrations, he adapted to it well. After several years, however, he finally gave it up and went back to writing letters by hand. I wasn't personally offended, of course, but I felt that it was a bit of a step backward. Still, it was always good to get a letter from Grandpa or Grandma in their own handwriting. Grandma didn't eve learn to use the computer and I never knew why. She just used her typewriter and signed in her own hand.

I should mention, those of you who are descendants of Don and Emily have all of that innate intelligence they had. Don't deny it, you know you do!

Well, I started out to write more about some of the philosophical conversations I had with Grandpa but I think I'll hold on to that for next time!

--Wag--

Affairs

2008-10-02T20:48:00.001-06:00

Affairs are (almost) never about sex. There is (nearly) always something else troubling the relationship which leads to the affair. Many times, it's an emotional issue between the two people. Other times, one or the other of the two has baggage which has never been confronted and which poisons the relationship. Most often, people get married too quickly and start popping out kids too fast before they understand all of the dynamics of their "new" relationship.

It's too late for many people but I'm a real proponent of the following relationship steps:

1. Have all the sex you can with as many partners as you can before you get into a serious relationship of any kind. Do this from the age of 14 to the age of 25. Remember not to have sex with minors, always use condoms every damn time, don't knock anyone up or get knocked up and don't spread diseases. Do everything you want to do now and enjoy yourself without doing anything illegal.

2. A couple of years before you think you can handle a relationship, learn how. Take some classes and read some books. Listen to intelligent people who have had successful long-term relationships. It's going to have the potential to save your neck.

3. Practice a few times. Have a couple of "long-term" relationships of about six or twelve months and see how it goes. You need to know how to pick 'em, know how to work with them on the relationship, resolve issues large and small, talk about what you want long-term. Boot the other person to the curb as soon as he or she shows an inability to have a trusting, mutually beneficial relationship with you. Always remember though, you could get lucky on the first try and find your lifemate right away so be open minded to the possibility.

4. About the time you're in your late 20's to early 30's and you find, "the one," live with that person for no less that three years. I recommend at least five years, depending on how the relationship is going. By this time or at some point during, you both should have finished your degrees, gotten yourself well established in a career, decided where you want to live for the next 30 years and bought a house that you can afford in that area. All issues about roles, money, kids, etc. should have been talked through during this live-in period.

5. Get married. AFTER you have some pre-marital counseling.

6. The make-it or break-it issue of most marriages (after money) is kids. If you decide to have kids, now is the time. Remember, they will change your lifestyle quite radically. Be sure you're ready to be tied down, quite literally. Remember, it's okay to not have kids. If you decide not to, again, sack up and get snipped or tied off so that it's never an issue in the future. Don't give me any, "I'm not sure," crap, either. Make a friggin' decision already! You're too old to not know by now. If for some reason you do change your mind after you've cut off all ties to your genetic seed, adopt.

7a. If you had kids, raise them with a sense of responsibility and take care of their needs as a responsible parent. They are people. Treat them as such. They are growing things in need of direction and guidance. Give that to them, even if is isn't always warm and fuzzy or lovey-dovey to do so.

7b. If you don't have kids, enjoy life just as much as everyone else who has kids. Yes, it can be done!

After all of that, if you feel you still have to have sex with some bimbo or stud muffin even though you did #1 above, then you know what? Have enough class to go to your lifemate and end the relationship FIRST. If you don't have the sack to do that, then go ahead. Fuck the shit out of him or her and live the rest of your life as a coward and a fool.

Just some thoughts.

--Wag--

A Hypothetical Question

2008-10-02T20:47:00.001-06:00

As a manger, I hire and fire from time to time as needed. Hiring is always an adventure, however, the task is usually simplified by all the people out there who can't spell, use grammar or other English usage problems. Those resumes always go right to the circular file, so to speak.

As a footnote, over the years, I've noticed that said circular file fills up ever faster and the "keep and interview" pile take a lot longer to fill up.

I was thinking, however, What if it were the other way around? What if you sent a resume out knowing that it was spotlessly perfect? You've had all your brilliant friends read it and there is no doubt.

Unbeknownst to you, the guy on the other end who gets your resume is a moron and can't spell. He sees a word on your resume, spelled correctly but because of HIS inability or lack of education, he thinks, incorrectly, that the word is spelled wrong and boom! Your resume ends up in the above-mentioned circular file. Well, not mine, but his.

You get to lose an opportunity because of this idiot and surprise, surprise, you'll never get to know. I wonder just how often this actually happens but I bet we'll never find out.

--Wag--

Tax simplification

2008-08-23T10:15:00.004-06:00

Question from Jeff Dunkel

"Do you think that a consumption tax or flat tax would be more fair to taxpayers than the current income tax system?

It seems that one of the biggest complaints is how some people pay too much and some too little in taxes. If you could start from scratch, and it was necessary to choose a taxing system to raise revenue, do you think the current income tax system, flat tax, or consumption tax would be best?"

My response:

Consumption tax has the following benefits, among others:

1. Eliminates evasion. Nobody gets to be paid, "under the table." Even illegal aliens get taxed.
2. People get to choose whether to pay taxes and how much to pay. If you don't want to pay the taxes, you don't buy the product.
3. Simplicity. There are no tables and no exceptions. I believe there should be no exceptions based on type of product, income of consumer, etc.
4. Overhead management task for the government is greatly reduced. Instead of tracking a huge number of individual and corporate taxpayers, we track a far smaller number of businesses who are acting as tax collectors.

Potential problems.

1. Some tax collectors could still evade. Even today, we hear of companies who run off with the sales tax receipts!
2. Black markets will be created reducing receipts.
3. Bartering will increase, also reducing receipts though somewhat minimally.
4. Current tax specialists may lose work volume.

Ironically, as messed up as our current tax system is, I continue to hear that we need to change to flat taxes and yet, along with those proposals, a series of caps, exceptions and variances for any number of reasons which pretty much sabotage the entire concept! If we can shoot for a consistent simplicity, we aren't helping ourselves.

The biggest obstacle of any "new" tax system is that of educating the public about how it works. Since everyone is pretty much familiar with how sales tax works, educating the general public about consumption tax is markedly simplified.

Just brainstorming.

Lou

Memoirs of Don and Emily - part 2

2008-08-17T09:34:00.003-06:00

Note: Again, this is a more expanded version of a post I made to our family online group. I take a bit more license here to be more honest and less politically correct than I was with my family. My reasons for doing so may be a bit obscure at the moment but over time, it may become more apparent.

Also, to clarify, Don and Emily are my grandparents on my father's side.

----------

Watching Grandma and Grandpa interact with one another during my year with them was sometimes an adventure, sometimes a treat, other times curious and always educational, even if to determine, "Hey, I better not do that!" Grandma and Grandpa had been married for a lot of years and that meant a successful relationship, right? Ummmm, yes. In many ways, yes. In other ways, not so much but to be fair, I think most relationships are like this. Some couples live together for decades and cannot be said to have a successful relationship. Many times, they have just been roommates for a very long time and avoided divorce only because it was supposedly, "bad."

Other couples do have successful relationships and after a few years of learning how, they move right along, happy and content and able to confront issues with maturity and tact. Note, I did not say, "without anger and strife." Successful couples can still get frustrated and angry with each other but how they deal with those issues is what makes their relationships succeed.

Those are the two ends of the bell curve. Most normal people reside somewhere in the middle, of course, as did Grandma and Grandpa. From day to day, they might even move back and forth along the curve from good, to better and back again. There were some indications that Grandma and Grandpa might have been better off divorcing, however, they were comfortable with each other and could manage their feelings because of their vast experiences with each other.

Grandpa used to grow the most beautiful garden. His green thumb could be seen from space, to be sure. Or at least, from the top of the water tower! It was a luxury beyond compare to have the best and freshest produce of my life. During season of course. When the apricots came on, I indulged to the point of being stupid about it. It didn't matter how much I ate, though, I could never put a dent in the production of that apricot tree. I've never enjoyed store-bought apricots since because they simply don't have nearly the exquisite flavor I remember. Grandpa gave them away by the bucket load and still finished the apricot season by dumping a lot of it in the trash. Even the birds had their fill. The same was true of the peaches, plums, nectarines, etc. Grandpa wanted all of them and had them. Even a pomegranate tree, a fig tree and a Thompson seedless grape arbor!

I think Grandma was the only one who bore a slight resentment about all the produce but probably not just because of the produce itself. The problem was, Grandpa would get up first thing in the morning before the birds, even, and go pick all the produce in the garden that had ripened the previous day. Later, Grandma would go into the kitchen after getting up and find several dozen pounds of produce in the kitchen, on the counters, in the sink, in a bag on the floor, all waiting for something to be done to it. Grandma complained a bit. Not a lot. She knew the benefit of the garden but dangit; she just didn't like the frequent surprise and the implied expectation that it was her job to deal with all of this. She never complained to Grandpa about it that I heard, though. She mentioned it up to me just once after weeks of putting up various produce.

Then she rolled up her sleeves and canned or dried all of it. I would come home at the end of the day to a kitchen counter and a dining room table loaded down with jars of apricots, corn, green beans, peaches, or whatever else she had spent the day preserving. The jars were beautiful. Most of them disappeared into the basement storage and were never seen again, unfortunately, but there were plenty of times when we did retrieve a jar during the winter for a dessert. Good stuff. A significant amount of that stored produce, unfortunately, went bad as things do and had to be disposed. This was more of a testament to how much produce was harvested and canned by Grandma and Grandpa rather than that they didn't necessarily handle it right. It was just too much for them to keep up with.

Two things drove them to create all of this sustenance: The church was a driving force for food storage and insisted that people put up a year's supply to carry people in the event of an disaster. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. In the early years, however, the church didn't promote the management of such storage and quite a few families out there put up food only to find that they hadn't taken care of it properly and it became a total loss. Grandma and Grandpa seemed to know what they were doing but were overwhelmed with the quantity of food they produced and they refused to waste any of their garden's production. Church duty called and they kept working it.

I wonder just how many people these days even know how to do this any more? Is there any need any more? Grandma wasn't about to waste any of it, that's for sure, and Grandpa wasn't about to not grow it so long as he had space to grow stuff. The other driving force behind their production and storage was that they had been children of hard times and they worked hard and sweated and bled and produced for themselves and then saved and saved and saved, whether it was money or the production of their garden. They were the hardest working people I ever met alongside my maternal grandparents and nothing ever stopped them.

In spite of a few minor snipes they directed toward each other, they never fought with each other while I stayed with them in Thatcher. There were a couple of occasions when Grandma would bring up something Grandpa had done thirty years ago and he would sit there nodding his head and giving an, "Uh huh," now and again. Later, he would tell me, "I suppose that actually happened but for the life of me, I can't remember it. It's just not worth arguing about." He was right; it wasn't worth arguing about but if she had a reason to bring it up to him again these many years later, who was he to say that her need was not important? Let her go on about it. There was a minor complaint in his comment but not to her.

By the same token, Grandpa would undertake to accomplish a project to the inconvenience of Grandma and her daily comfort. The garden produce was a significant example. She complained to me a couple of times in terms of, "I wish he wouldn't . . , " but she didn't mention it to him. She knew it made him happy to be doing things and working on something or other. I'm sure that if they had lived in Thatcher long enough, Grandpa would have had a skyscraper on the property, built by his own hand still producing fruits and vegetables worthy of a property with five times the acreage!

There was a plaque hanging in the kitchen which I'll never forget. I don't recall if Grandpa made it or bought it in a store but it expressed his feelings for Grandma in, "the most perfect terms," his words to me. It said,

"I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you."

This profound statement has remained with me ever since. It suggests more thought than I can even write out over time and the more I reflect on it, the more meaning it has and the more I engage in a relationship with my life mate, the more it suggests what that relationship is all about. I seem to recall that Grandpa had given the plaque to Grandma later on in their relationship, something that bears a great deal of meaning well beyond the empty platitudes a young man often uses to flatter his woman.

After so many years of marriage, Grandpa was still deeply in love with his wife. Grandma was in love with her man. Quite often, I could see it in their eyes when they spoke of each other to me in private. When Grandpa told me of the plaque and how he felt about it and about Grandma, his eyes grew misty and touched with an emotion that he wouldn't ever let out for another person. He never let it out for me to see except for that small bit that he couldn't hide, then he moved on to a different topic. Grandma sometimes told stories of Grandpa's past accomplishments with a similar touch of feeling in her face and a barely perceptible tremble in her voice which spoke of admiration, adoration and pride.

When it is said, "Love knows no bounds," I think it's right and good to say that Grandma and Grandpa were an example of that kind of love.

--Wag--

Memoirs of Don and Emily

2008-08-09T18:15:00.008-06:00

Note: This is a more expanded version of a post I made to our family online group. I take a bit more license here to be more honest and less politically correct as I was with my family. My reasons for doing so may be a bit obscure at the moment but over time, it may become more apparent.

Also, to clarify, Don and Emily are my grandparents on my father's side.

------------------------------------

Memoirs of Don and Emily

Early in 1982, my father came to me and said, "Son, with 10 kids to feed, I'll never be able to help pay your way through college so if you want to go, you better keep your grades up and hope for some scholarships." That was about the extent of that conversation. A 16-year kid now saddled with the challenge of paying his own way through college. We were hillbillies living 10 miles out of town and job prospects were slim at best even IF we had enough cars running to get me back and forth. Fortunately, I wasn't the first teenager in the world to have that problem thrust upon him and I'm pleased to know I was not the last!

The scholarship idea sounded pretty good, though. Free money! Of all the advice I ever received from my father, this was probably the only one that ever turned out to be of much value over the long term and probably the only advice of his I even really remember. I started working hard in school for the first time and brought a 2.90 GPA up to a 3.67 by the middle of my senior year. Not bad for a year's effort. I think that's the same GPA I had when I graduated or perhaps slightly better. At some point in the middle of my senior year, I wrote a letter to Grandpa and asked if he would be willing to house me while I went to school at Eastern Arizona College in Thatcher where he and Grandma lived.

In the meantime, I applied to EAC and also applied for Pell Grants and several other scholarships and grants.

Grandpa returned a very complimentary letter. He informed me that I had been polite and deferential and that it had surprised them to read a letter from a "young man" with that much maturity and grace. He stated that because of my letter, he and Grandma would love to have me come and stay with them! I don't think they quite realized at the time what they were really getting into! In his letter, they offered to drive from Thatcher, AZ to Sullivan, MO for my graduation and then I could ride back with them to start a summer semester at the college. I accepted their offer immediately, of course.

Shortly after that, due to my improved grades plus the poverty level in which we lived at the time, I received several grants and scholarships which not only paid for my tuition and books but also room and board. EAC also accepted me as a student and I was off and running. Grandma and Grandpa were extraordinarily generous and refused any sort of payment for boarding me or for any of their other costs for that matter. They also insisted on paying for numerous perks which added to my personal comfort. In short they spoiled me quite badly!

One of the more important things they did was to get legal paperwork completed so I could be on their health insurance while I was in school. I don't know how much that cost them but it was plenty, I have little doubt. I'll be eternally grateful to them for all of the extra assists they gave to me. It made my life during my first year of college worry and stress free.

Sometimes, the juxtaposition of their generosity was slightly humorous. Early on, they bought me a cassette player radio combo which was not top of the line but was quite good. It was the alarm clock I needed the most but it was helpful to have the music and everything else along with it. Some nice little features for its day. The point is, it was pretty high tech for the time. At the same time I started my first English class, they also bought me a typewriter. Not the IBM Selectric which was pretty high-end back then but an old run-down manual typewriter. Yup. No power at all. The damn thing worked, though! I did all of my term papers and compositions on that thing for a year. I wonder to this day if they thought it would, "build character!" I suspect they got it just out of nostalgia. I wish I still had that typewriter, just for the memories.

As a result of their monetary generosity, I was able to really focus on my schoolwork and took 21 hours of core classes the first semester and 22 the second. Grandpa helped me tremendously with my first summer English Comp and Critical Thinking class. Because of his tutoring, I was able to pull an easy 'A' in that class and in several others for which I wrote term papers, etc. I don't think I ever got less than an 'A' on any term paper while I lived with Grandpa and the education I received from him was priceless beyond compare. It has served me to this day. Granted, I'm not the perfect writer but I'm light years ahead of where I would have been without his assistance.

The nice thing is, he didn't just point out errors I had made, he told me why they were errors and coached me on form and style, usage and grammar, etc. Things I had missed, somehow, while sleeping, er, sitting in high school English classes!

Ahhhh, the memories. Grandma and Grandpa both insisted on focusing me toward things they felt were important. Piano was very high on the list, probably #2. Not only did they pay for my private lessons but, at their insistence, every morning at 4:30am, I rose and showered and then hit the piano for at least 90 minutes of practice before classes. As time went on, they both expressed to me on several occasions that it helped them sleep better in the early hours of the morning. On occasion, Grandma would have a headache in the afternoon and if I happened to be playing or practicing, she would lay down for a nap and the piano would soothe her to sleep. It's a comfort to me to know how much they appreciated it and it was an honor then to play for them.

As a footnote, Grandma loved Chopin but at the time, I wasn't capable of playing any of it. It was a pleasure years later to finally be able to play, "Fantasie Impromptu," and, "Ballade in G minor," among others for her on a couple of occasions. The ecstasy in Grandma's voice and in her eyes was all I needed to see and hear in order to motivate me to excel at the piano for many years afterward.

More to follow as time allows!

--Wag--

A better place

2008-07-30T19:49:00.005-06:00

Why is it when people hear of another person's passing, they offer this comfort to survivors: "They're in a better place."

Is that really always the case? How would you know, anyway? A few years ago, I wrote a paper for a class about people's right to die. A key source document was Derek Humphries,' "Final Exit." The whole thing about it is, What is life?

A fundamental question is, can a person in a wheelchair enjoy his or her life? Absolutely. Can another person confined thusly have a miserable existence? Of course. Who gets to decide which one gets to enjoy life and which has to suffer? Assuming there is no god making this decision and that life just happens, who gets to decide? Congress? May the stars fall from the sky first. The family? Who's to say they will make an unbiased decision. A court? No better than congress and assuredly not unbiased, people.

The point made by that long ago paper is that the decision should be made by the person whose life is in question. There are those who can enjoy a life as a paraplegic or quadriplegic. I suppose they are to be admired. Let them live their lives as best they know how. Nobody else is in a place to determine what is right for those individuals. Only the individual should decide.

By the same token, if a helpless confined person decides that life has already ended for them, who are we to say they are required to live? The decision is no more ours than the decision that a guy should die if he wants to live. Why would we be in a better position to tell a person he should live if he wants to die?

I'm not talking about your healthy individual suffering from depression who is looking for a way to commit suicide. No, those people should be helped with whatever it is they need in order to make the decision to live. They have a treatable problem and should be assisted to take every opportunity life has to offer.

No, I'm talking about the person whose physical ability to live has been severely impaired and for whom opportunity has been severely limited.

Sooooo, having said all of that, my original point is, why is it that people think that when someone dies, they should say, "It's just as well. They're in a better place now?" How on earth or heaven would they know? Suppose you're a believer, maybe the guy is now in hell treading flames? How would you know that the person is sitting on the right hand of a (sadistic) god? Regardless, what if there nothing after this life, maybe the guy really wanted to live, not die, how does that put him in a better place? I should think that it's only a better place if the person was really interested in dying in order to end suffering at the end of a well-lived life.

Maybe I'm picking on a point which hasn't much impact but hey. how many people have ever thought of this? I've never heard it discussed.

--Wag--

Nobody is crying to get OUT!

2008-07-13T05:32:00.002-06:00

America seems to be taking a beating these days. We get verbal abuse from every population in the world but the fact is, this is a damn nice place to live. Millions of people all over the world are risking life and limb to get here for one thing and one thing only: Opportunity.

Nowhere else on earth does it exist in such abundance. Look at Saudi Arabia. Rich with oil money to the extent the really don't have a clue what to do with it. At least, the people who have it. That means, the royal family and their people. They're rolling nicely. The average Saudi, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have a whole lot of it and more importantly than anything else, seems to have little opportunity to get any of it.

There's that word again. Opportunity. Look at Mexico. Same thing. Most of South and Central America. Cuba. China. Indonesia. With the exception of Europe, where is ample opportunity besides America? Even comparing Europe and the U.S., the opportunity you have in Europe is taxed to oblivion. Oh, wait. Don't forget about Canada but there again, you're taxed to death!

Only in the U.S do we have the wealth of opportunity so great WE don't really know what to do with it. Opportunity great and small. Opportunity far and wide. Opportunity for education, experience, wealth, leisure, social interaction with your chosen people. Opportunity exists for health, peace, prosperity, information, religion . . . . Even the opportunity to say how much you love it here. Or hate it here.

What saddens me is just how many people who are here, enjoying all of these opportunities (or choosing not to), are so intent on expressing their hatred of it. But what's always more telling than words, as we all know, is action.

These people aren't leaving. When was the last time you heard of a boat full of people drowning en route to Cuba? Illegal (non-criminal) American immigrants in Mexico? People risking their lives and well-being and even their families to get from America to China? Never? Me either.

People stay here. They speak loudly with their actions that frankly, this place is a pretty damn nice place to live. Indeed, it's the nicest place on the planet to live. There is no better place.

You know what else we have the opportunity to do? Change things. We have the opportunity to make changes to everything under the sun and improve everything we see. We get to change out our leaders and get them to do what we want. I don't think there are very many other places in the world where this can be done quite as well as here.

Frankly, I'm impressed with this country. I still believe in it, in spite of it's flaws, in spite of it's weaknesses. I see that even though we frequently waste the opportunities which are so freely given to us by this great country, we still have ample left to go around.

It's a grand thing, isn't it?

--Wag--

Writer's Block

2008-07-04T03:26:00.003-06:00

Thank gawd I don't make my living as a writer. I've had a bad bout of writer's block lately. For the last couple of years, eh? Mostly, I can't decide if I want to be funny, which is difficult enough as it is, or if I want to be serious.

My wife told me the other day, "You're funny!"

I responded, "Yeah, but looks aren't everything!"

Ba dum dum.

Commentary is good but all too often, I feel like I'm just reinventing the wheel. I mean, just how many more opinions do we need about global warming, the pending political elections, religion, the crappy economy, etc. We do NOT need another movie reviewer on line, that's for sure.

Funny and sad at the same time: The other day, I bought two new stocks. They both tanked within 5 minutes of being bought. It's as if the other people who owned them were just waiting for me to buy and then all together, they all sold off all at once. I didn't lose a LOT of value but definitely an instantaneous loss.

THAT is a sucky economy. A recession is when your co-worker gets laid off. A depression is when YOU get laid off. Anyone know who originally said that?

Jeez. I'm writing about the economy without prior warning. My apologies. That's what I get for writing at 3:30 am.

I should just go surf for some porn but even that is boring any more. At least it doesn't require conscious thought.

Or just go back to sleep.

G'nite.

--Wag--

How to attract hot chicks

2008-07-03T18:49:00.002-06:00

Posted this elsewhere recently but thought it would fit in well here.

True story which has happened to me on more than a couple of occasions. Details have been changed to protect the innocent.

Scenario is, I'm sitting in my office as I generally do at my job. Nobody has bothered me all day. I'm getting a trainload of work done. 4:00 rolls around and I'm doing well.

All of a sudden, I have to fart, but I'm doing well so I don't want to get up to go outside. Lean over and tear off an SBD. It's a rank mutha, too.

Almost like there was a director in a crappy comedy movie making this production, the hot chick from marketing walks in and needs to discuss something that A) could have waited till next month to give the air time to clear or B) it's too damn late for the discussion to do any damn good at all. It's worth mentioning that marketing personnel ALWAYS call me on the phone for such discussions because their building is a half mile or so away from ours.

In the meantime, the SBD continues to scream its presence. There is no way you could miss it. She doesn't say a thing and keeps a straight face. I work hard to extend the discussion as long as possible both because she has great hooters but also because I shouldn't have to suffer with the fumes all by myself.

Sooooo, since this happens over and over again I can only assume that farts attract hot chicks. In fact, I'm beginning to hypothesize that farts can actually breach time and space and teleport hot chicks right to your side. Further testing is required.

Try it some time! Keep some Febreze nearby.

--Wag--

Biker T-shirts

2008-01-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

Check out this site for Bike T-shirts! Motorcycle t-shirts, that is!

Great service, fast delivery if you want it and you won't come away dissatisfied. Of course, I get shirts and hoodies with my Busa logo on them but they have stuff for all bike brands.

Enjoy!

--Wag--

Yes, the site is owned by the guy who runs the Busa Board I use all the time. Nice guy and you'll love the product!

Frightening movies. I don't think so.

2007-10-03T19:28:00.000-06:00

I'm using the movie series, Saw as an example here because it should still be fairly recent in everyone's minds and because the fourth part is about to hit the theaters. Bear in mind, I don't have a whole lot of problem with gore in movies. It's easy for me to remember it ain't real and it just rolls right over me. Really, it does. (Gore in real life is a different story, however but that's a topic for another time.)

The real terror of a movie is in the building of suspense and the threat of something freaky or evil or dangerous being about to happen. Look at The Ring or Ju On (or The Grudge). At least, as long as the potential victim of same is not being so utterly stupid as to make you laugh instead of jump in your chair and toss your popcorn on your date. Hollywood film makers forget what normal people are apt to do, even aside from the armchair directors in the theaters. Bottom line is, a scary movie needs to make you think pretty hard for a while after you walk out into the lobby.

I've digressed overly much. Back to the Saw series. And yes, there are a couple of spoilers so if you've not seen it, don't blame me for not warning you. Or maybe you'll read this because you're not going to go see it! In that case, you'll still be disappointed because I'm not really going to disclose so much.

The first Saw was a very nice Hitchcockian suspense flick. There was gore and such but it was incidental; not the focus of the movie. I mean, even though there was a dead guy in the middle of the room in a pool of his own blood, how could you possibly forget that the only way those two captives could get loose was if they were willing to saw off their own foot? Very easy to put yourself in that position, wondering what you would do if you were in that situation and feel a cold chill go up and down your spine.

Add to that the suspense built by the possibility that the two guys may have had a connection which could have caused one to kill the other even though they should be working together to escape, a time limit to figure out how to escape and a half dozen other sub plots equally horrifying and really, the gore is of little consequence, even when the one guy actually does cut his foot off in order to escape. (Just a thought here, the music at this point was absolutely PERFECT!)

The second movie added a bunch of gore but still had a degree of the suspense that the first one had. You could easily go, "good grief," at some of the excessive gore but after all was said and done, it was still pretty decent. The rats-trapped-in-a-maze theme was a little overdone in my opinion but the puzzles were creative enough to take the, "hokey malokey," out of it.

The third installment made the gore the primary focus of the flick and while the story still sort of carried pretty well, it was splattered upon overly much by blood and guts. In short, it was crap. It might have been the kind of thing that would make people look away but it didn't add to my enjoyment of the movie and sure didn't scare anyone.

To be fair, they created and then answered some questions linked to the first movie so that was pretty decent of them. Still, by the end of the movie, I was done with gore-centric flicks. No more desire to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre which was released right about then, no desire to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 (yes, I saw the first one), no urge to get out to rent Hostel and then watch Hostel 2. Now, in place of the urge to see good scary movies, I prefer instead to avoid the gore-focused movies and be more selective with my scary movie selections. The have to be truly scary now. It's just hard to tell, really until you're sitting in the theater.

The fourth one? Jury's still out on it but if they continue the trend, it's going to be a loser just like the third one. I doubt I'll watch it. I may go see it just because I saw the first three but essentially, I'm done with movie makers who can't stay focused on the story, the plot, or just don't really have the skills it takes to make a great frightener.

The new Halloween movie, now, there is a GREAT horror flick! Kudos to Rob Zombie for that one. Well done even if you didn't really care for it.

--Wag--

Miscellaneous crap

2007-10-02T01:15:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, I'm on. Other times, I go a fairly long while before writing. I was reading through some of the posts a moment ago and realized, I used to write some funny stuff. Funny to me, anyway. Lately, though, the crap I'm putting up here hasn't been funny any more. Too serious. Am I losing my sense of humor? Did I ever have one in the first place? Does anyone give a rat's ass? If you do, worry about yourself. Your life is too small!

What the hell. I'm enjoying my life. My wife and I were talking about that the other day. We're plenty happy, really. We have what we want. Steady wage, house, two motorcycles we love riding, the vehicles we need in order to get around. Good news, too. We saved a bunch of money on our insurance by switching to . . .

. . . Farm Bureau. Yup. 30% per year for all four vehicles and our homeowners policy.

Niiiiiiiice!!!

Well, we're not independently wealthy yet but we're moving that direction. I think. It's going to be a while, of course. Patience is a virtue in such things. Of course, financial brains would help, too. Anyone have a supplier for that?

I'm cruising down on my 42nd birthday in about three weeks. No, EXACTLY three weeks.

Dayum!!!!

Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't feel old. Well, I have to use reading glasses a lot of the time now. No big deal. But as for the rest of me? It's all still working quite well. I feel that I'm still in my prime. I should go get a degree, though. The most discouraging thing about it, though, is that all my school credits are too old to transfer now. I'll likely have to take them all again.

BUT. That may mean it's a perfect time for me to change careers. 20 years is too long to do the same thing over and over again. Been thinkin' about it for a few days. Okay, a couple of months! I just still haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up.

Doh!!!

Well, as long as I can keep my luscious, hot wife sleeping with me, probably nothing much else will matter, eh?!

Couldn't sleep tonight. I quit smoking a little over a week ago and it's effing killing me so far. Seems that when I smoke, my immune system gets suppressed. Then, when I stop smoking, my immune system kicks back into high gear and I start feeling the pain of allergies I never knew I had. It sucks, of course. Dammit. I'm on my 9th day now, though, so I'll just have to tough it out some more. I haven't slept well for about the last five or six days which explains why I'm up at 1:30am typing this up even though I have to work tomorrow.

Don't start smoking. If you do, you'll want to quit some day and it might kill ya!!!

For some reason, that's funny to me. Go figure.

Cheers to all y'all!

--Wag--

What's the difference?

2007-07-29T08:17:00.001-06:00

What's the difference between Muslim terrorists and Christian or other fanatical religious terrorists?

I've been told, though I haven't read it myself, that the Quran directs its followers (Muslims) to kill all infidels.

But the Bible, especially the Old Testament, preaches the same thing, really. Read, the following (For this reference, thank you to The Dark Bible, found at http://www.nobeliefs.com/DarkBible/)

"If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;" (Deuteronomy 13: 6)

"Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people." (Deuteronomy 13:8-9)

Of course, the Old Testament is full of stories of how the followers of Moses spent a great deal of energy engaging in fierce genocide against those were were considered unbelievers.

Of course, Christians like to say that Jesus did away with such things when he brought forth a new way of life, a better belief. If that's the case, why is the Old Testament still attached to the New Testament?

Christianity at heart is not that much different from Islam.

o-Both would like to kill you for not believing as they do, at least historically
o-Both would like to force you to believe as they do
o-Both would like you to give up your life for their particular god
o-Both look down on believers of other faiths as inferior peoples (infidels and heretics)
o-Both are uninterested in your opinion
o-Both would like to prohibit you from even expressing or thinking your opinion

The list could go on, of course. I'll give Judaism credit, though. They aren't promoting the deaths of others because of differing beliefs any more insofar as I've heard lately. Frankly, they don't seem to be saying a lot about what to do with unbelievers at all these days. Good on them.

Soooooo, what's the difference? Not much, really. What I mean is, when you strip away the professed litanies of doctrine and their teachings, the activities of both are geared toward one thing only: They look forward to the sterilization of the world in order to make it 100% Christian. Or 100% Islam.

Come to think of it, I get the idea that they are the only two major world religions who still believe in such a thing.

--Wag--

Saying goodbye

2007-06-01T21:30:00.001-06:00

How much do you love someone?
Is it hard to say goodbye?
But you know you'll see them again,
You just don't know when.

How about when you know,
It's the last goodbye?
When you know you'll never
See them again. Ever.

She had cancer and she had had it
For quite a while.
You could tell; and it had done its evil
Something you could feel.

We said goodbye. She knew and I knew
This was going to be the last time
We looked into each others' eyes and cried
We laughed with each other at our happier memories.

We hoped things were going to turn around but,
We both knew the end was in sight.
It wasn't possible to deny.
I looked deep into her eyes, those eyes had taught me,

The meaning of the literary term,
"A twinkle in the eye."
I knew I'd never see it again.
I held her close as we prepared to part for the last time.

Tears from from her eyes to my chest and
From my eyes to her skin
Our bodies shook together with sobbing
We became one in our sorrow

But we were one in our happy memories of the
Beauty of our friendship, the happiness we had had
For all those years and for all those smiles.
As we parted ways, we cried.

We knew each others' sorrow, felt each others' pain
Suffered each others' suffering
But we smiled as we knew the other smiled
And our hearts began to share with one another.

She still lives in me. My memories of her will endure
Forever and ever.

--Wag--

The Farmer

2007-04-24T19:15:00.000-06:00

Story

One spring, a farmer went out and plowed his fields and planted his corn. The rain came; he fertilized and irrigated. The corn sprouted and grew. It was doing well, growing and flourishing. A few weeks later, though, the farmer began to become impatient. He wanted his corn now. RIGHT now.

Impatient beyond belief, he plowed the cornfield under and the next day, planted wheat. Again, the rains were sufficient and the farmer cared for his new crop. It was doing very well but again, impatience set in. A few days later, the farmer plowed under his newly-sprouted wheat and planted potatoes.

Over the rest of the summer and fall, the farmer repeatedly planted and plowed and planted and plowed until the end of the summer when his last crop, his tomato plants, died in the cold of the frost. The farmer had nothing. In spite of his hard work, in spite of doing nearly everything right and despite the perfect weather of the perfect summer, he had nothing to show for it all.

It was a long, cold, and very hungry winter.

Moral

If you have everything under the sun going perfectly for you, you still need patience.

Discussion

How many times have you worked for a company which had good policies but kept changing them over and over again? How many times have you seen your friends or family change jobs over and over and over again? Each time, they have to start over and begin with nothing again.

My father was that kind of man. The rate of changes for his jobs became so numerous that by the end, he was changing jobs nearly every month or even faster. He attempted to start several businesses in succession but never worked any of them to fruition. He signed up for several MLM's only to abandon them shortly afterward. Over time, he destroyed his ability to accumulate money, to acquire knowledge, to gain experience, to retire well.

Instead, he died penniless and without self-respect.

But he was a brilliant man, intellectually. Competent and capable in many areas. There is some evidence which suggests that he may have had ADHD and possibly, that interfered with his ability to remain pointed toward a goal's achievement.

Regardless of why, the object lesson is that it takes time to accomplish things. If something is planned and set into motion it will not happen overnight. But it will happen if it is given the proper time along with all other good things.

I realize there are other variables in real life but the thought experiment succeeds in a fashion which illustrates the need for focus on an end result.

After the planning is done, the growth begins.

Any comments?

--Wag--

Mr. Deity

2007-02-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, you have to check this guy out!

Mr. Deity

--Wag--

Load yourself up!

2007-02-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

As a kind of corollary to the post below about efficiencies of organizations with lots of people, I was thinking back on the days when I was most efficient.

Simply put, the more shit I have to do, the more I can get done and the better I get it done.

It's about focus and intensity, I think. When I was working 50 hours a week and taking 18 units in school, I got straight A's and got great reviews at the office. I got everything done, too. That's the amazing part of it.

At times when I didn't have the workload, I got less done. Free time, for some reason, doesn't have the impact on me that lack of time does. Don't get me wrong; I've overloaded from time to time and done poorly. Likewise, there have been times when I had a lot of free time and got a lot done.

There's just something about the urgency of several pressing needs drawing your attention and forcing you to be efficient, organized and to prioritize effectively.

--Wag--

Pessimism

2007-02-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

Is pessimism a defense mechanism? The HR director at my new job asserted that it is.

People who are pessimists don't run the risk of getting hurt by plans gone awry. I suppose that if they believe things will go badly and then things DO go badly, they are not disappointed. They may fear that if they hope for something good to happen and it does not, they have to deal with the problem of how to confront the disappointment. Of course, that requires effort. It requires thought and work.

Are pessmists just too lazy to confront their disappointments in a productive way? I leave that to others more intelligent than I to decide.

Pessimists and optimists are born, not created. Look around you. There are those who are optimists in spite of any string of bad luck or in spite of their circumstances. Maybe it's the optimists who are lazy 'cause they don't take the time to review the real horror of their situation! Figure THAT one out, eh?! There are plenty of people who are in dire straits but they're still smiley and still happy. A pessimist would say, "What the hell for? There's no point to it." An optimist would say the same thing about a pessimist, of course!

Still, the pessimist has a good defense mechanism. Just assume everything is fucked and you'll be right quite a bit of the time.

On the other hand, an optimist can look at all the same problems in their lives and assume that everything is still pretty good, okay, and all right and better yet, they're going to improve at any moment!

Gotta love that!

Now and then, you'll see an optimist who has lived with let-downs for an exceptionally long time and they start to exhibit some of the behaviors of the pessimist for a while. But as soon as circumstances improve, they are right back to their usual optimistic self. The pessimist, on the other hand, waits for things to go to hell in a handbasket, of course.

I was born an optimist and raised in a pessimistic envrionment. I learned all the right behaviors of a pessimist. Over the last few years as I've gotten out of that environment, I've been able to realize that maybe I'm an optimist after all. I should rephrase though. I THINK I'm an optimist. The jury is still out on it! We'll see what the verdict is if my life goes to shit for some reason!

--Wag--

New Job

2007-02-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Started a new job on Monday. Nice company, lots of opportunity and potential. I'm looking forward to how it develops in the near and long-term future.

It's a lot bigger company than what I'm used to working in. They have 50 employees and I've been in the habit of working in companies with less than 20 employees. With me, it was always, "The smaller, the better."

After a week at it, I have several observations. One of them is this: With all of the people working there, I find that I and others are hugely burdened with the interruptions of people coming and going and starting extraneous conversations, etc. etc. I find that I have about half as much time to get things done. So far. Also, the burden of communications is increased a great deal which also impairs my ability to get things done.

Here's how it has worked for me in the past. I've always worn several hats due to the small size of the companies I've worked for. I love doing that. I have a lot of power and that translates into an ability to get a lot of things done and get them done quickly. If I put a task on my to do list, it generally only lasts a moment or two because I'm the head of several departments and instead of asking other people questions, I simply answer them myself, tie up the loose ends and move on.

In this larger company, I've discovered that because I have fewer hats to wear, it's more time-consuming to get things answered and resolve the issue at hand. My task list gets a LOT of churning because each task needs to be updated every time something happens to affect that task. Finally, after several trips through the list, a task here and there will pop out which has enough info to finally wrap it up.

Incredible. Different. A learning experience. A challenge in the extreme.

People running around here and there is a problem. Impromptu conversations happen a lot more often and socialization takes up a significant amount of time. Interruptions, both business related and non-business related occur regularly. I'm not 100% sure about others but for myself, if I'm working up to my elbows in a project and I get interrupted, even if it's for a business item, it takes me quite a while to regroup and return to the project when I'm done dealing with the interruption.

So, it got me to thinking: Do business owners and company HR departments attempt to calculate the cost of having MORE employees added to their personnel lists? Is there a cost to having too many employees? Every time you add an employee to your company, are you increasing the amount of time lost to them? What are the costs of more communication interactions between employees?

Are these costs mitigated by narrowly defining the scope of each person's position? If you have a guy whose job is sticking tab A into slot B over and over and over again all day and he only has to interface with one boss, is he going to be the most efficient and effective employee in the company?

Just some basic thoughts. I dont' have a lot of reason to complain about anything just because it's too early in the game to tell. These are just observations generated due to the culture shock I'm experiencing! The reality could just as easily be that I'm having to learn new skills and it's going to just take a little time.

With any luck, I'll come back to this in a year and readdress the questions and the conclusions. I like the long experiments, I just have to remember to follow up!

--Wag--

A retelling of a story

2006-12-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

In response to a post on another forum by a respected Christian believer, I wrote the following story. It's a fresher version of my deconversion out of religion about 8 years ago and it has a cleaner feel along with a more broad application.

Just some thoughts.

--Wag--

-----------------------------------------

I find it truly appealing that we as potential opposition can discuss religion without getting flaming mad at each other and remaining friends at the other end of such discussion. At least, I hope that's the case. I have a great deal of respect for you, Ron, and for others here who have been so patient and collected during these discussions of their beliefs.

I recall at about age 7 or 8 I was first taught about the flood and Noah's miraculous escape. That is my first memory of doubting religion. (I was only given a Mormon perspective of it but for that particular story, it was a fair and comparable version to that which is told by Judeo-Christian religions and sects everywhere.) I just couldn't see it. The world is a big place. How did ALL of the pairs of animals get on the ark? Was it really THAT big? Then, I read it a little closer and discovered that only the unclean animals were in pairs. The clean animals were sent seven pairs each! Talk about making the problem worse!

My boat of belief was really foundering. I asked my parents who said, "Have faith and in time, god will reveal the secret of that mystery to you." To me, though, faith meant searching for the answer and showing one's seriousness and devotion by doing so. I continued to ask around. One of my teachers at church suggested that the flood was regional and didn't encompass the entire earth, just the local area. That made a little sense but didn't quite jive with the written word as I understood it. I filed the idea away as a possibility for later reference.

I went back to my parents a couple of times. They didn't know the answers to my questions but wouldn't say so. After only a couple of rounds, they finally got frustrated (read that, "angry") with me and told me to keep my peace. I learned to keep my mouth shut and have a care when asking questions or challenging certain religious teachings of which I had doubt. There were several: The virgin birth (the Mormon answer to THAT is wild!!), the adventures of Moses, the miracles of Jesus and Paul, etc.

As I grew up and left home, I continued to wonder and ask questions here and there but the habit of my childhood was to accept everything on faith and to not challenge the teachings of my childhood. I really wanted to believe. I wanted to believe that god was ever present in my life. Indeed, Mormonism taught that you can actually KNOW by god's influence that he is there in our lives.

That, then, was always the critical test: Pray and know. Throughout my entire life for as long as I could remember, I had been doing exactly that: Praying to know. No answer had been forthcoming by the time I was 34 or so years old. Again, parents and teachers kept telling me that in god's due time, I would get my answers from the spirit of god. All around me though, friends and family were getting THEIR answers, where was mine?

I think any belief I might have had began to die a slow death as people suggested that perhaps I was too sinful and needed to repent. Suggestions began to come forth from people indicating that perhaps I was not reading the scriptures enough or not praying and fasting enough or that I had too many contentious relationships with people which were unresolved or that I wasn't paying my tithing diligently or . . . .

The list was pretty long but it boiled down to the idea that I was not righteous enough to get a testimony of the truth from god. I wanted it, though, and I struggled ever more and more all the time to get that answer.

Finally, at one point, a book I read cut it loose for me: It was NOT me that was the problem. God was there for the sinner, not the righteous and that if anyone deserved his spiritual testament it was me but not because of anything I was doing or not doing. Simply because I was one of his children. That book made it clear that Jesus was not waiting for me to do anything in particular except for one thing: To have faith.

If I had felt I ever had faith before, I was mistaken. At that moment, belief coupled with faith swelled in my heart and soul to the point that I believed with all my soul that I was going to be given my answers by god and Jesus right then and I immediately hit my knees in prayer, fully expecting to get the answer I had sought throughout my life.

Nothing.

I continued to pray. Still nothing. For an entire day, I was on my knees, praying to know, praying for greater faith and belief. It was not about Mormonism any more, it was about Jesus and about god. Still nothing. At the end of that day, I arose with a belief that there was no god. I hadn't expected god to speak to me with thunder and lightning. Indeed, I had no expectations on how he would answer my prayer. But I believed with all my heart that if god answered me, there would be no doubt remaining in my heart and soul about what god and Jesus were all about and what their intentions are for me.

This next part is the most important part of my story:

I stood up from those prayers with greater doubt than I had ever had before. For a brief moment, I was angry. Angry at my life, my parents, my religion, my religious teachers, the rest of my family; pretty much everyone I had trusted throughout my life.

That anger lasted for the blink of an eye. In the next blink of an eye, I became an atheist and all of my anger dissappeared. Why be angry at a god who isn't there? The feeling of peace that washed over me was the spiritual experience I had been seeking all of my life. The description of it matched what I had always had taught would happen to me by true believers, both within my childhood religion of Mormonism and by those who had taught me from a true Christian faith. (Yes, I do know the difference! :D)

THAT was the spiritual experience I had sought for so very long. All of my anger, my guilt and my fears were gone and ever have been since that time about 8 years ago. The feeling is barely describable and at that time was when I realized that I had been chasing someone else's dream.

I went on a crusade. There was a short time there when I went on the attack and was truly militant toward religions of all types but especially Mormonism and Christianity. I said quite a few hurtful things to people though fortunately, it was possible to work to repair that damage. My tirade lasted for about three months or so.

One day I was reading a book by Carl Sagan and getting heated up about a lot of things he was saying. Two thirds of the way through it, I realized all at once that I was becoming again what I thought I had left behind. I realized I was becoming dogmatic and chauvenistic about my atheism more than I had been about religion!!!

I consider myself very fortunate that I was able to stop and realize that the most important thing in life is our loved ones. Our friends and our families are our highest priority and other people come very close to that priority as well, just because they are all human beings. (No, it doesn't mean we become indisciriminately open to people without thought and with only emotiion but that's a subject for another time.)

In other words, what life is all about is the people around us. How we treat people in this life is the most important aspect of what we will ever do. Indeed, that belief is also taught by many religions.

I also realized at that point that open-mindedness is a critical factor. I resolved to stay open-minded about the things people try to teach me. (Again, that does not mean that we have to indiscriminately take in everything and incorporate it. It could drive a man crazy.) It did mean, however, that any well-conceived teaching was well-worth consideration. Not the ramblings of mindless idiots, don't get me wrong. I don't believe that all Christians are fools at all. I do run into Christian fools from time to time but I run into just as many atheist fools, Buddhist fools, Wiccan fools, etc. etc.

By the same token, there are just as many intelligent people within all of these beliefs to whom it is well worth the time it takes to listen.

I spent about two years taking in various teachings from a lot of different people, many who are preachers and teachers within their religions. They are devoted followers or practitioners and deserving of the respect of any of us. They have yet to be convincing to me, however. As we talk, they have yet to move me.

Still, I keep my eyes open. I no longer spend time looking under the rocks and in the holes. I no longer go out into the field seeking answers. But I watch. I listen and I carefully consider the possibility that there COULD be a god and there COULD be a sacrifice that was made for me by Jesus.

There have been many comments made here on this board and elsewhere which serve to keep my mind open on the subject of the existence of god. I still read to see where they go and how they approach. To see if there is the possibility that I'm wrong and they are right. Thus far, as I said, I'm still unconvinced but rest assured, I'm not switched off to the possibilities! There is still a chance, at least in my mind, that perhaps some day someone will say something that changes my mind.

Until that day comes, however, I remain an atheist. However, I am still devoted to the idea that people are the most important aspect of our lives and that all peope deserve a fair shot. Of course, I go off from time to time but not as much as I used to and I surely work to keep that from happening as much as I possibly can.

Beyond this point, my story will become a ramble so I sign off from writing this now. There is more, of course, and there are always more questions from religious adherents and I'm always open to answering those beliefs in the full expectation that open-mindedness is something that is needful for all of us.

My best,

--Wag--

2006-12-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

This morning, I got an e-mail from a Christian friend of mine who was contemplating the idea that if god has such a beautiful plan of salvation via Christ's sacrifice, why did He make it so much of a hassle to show that it is fact? There are questions about how and why and wherefore, etc. etc. Challenges do not fall easily by the wayside.

His e-mail was his experience in overcoming doubts raised in his mind.

At least, that's what I think he was trying to say in his article. Without posting his exact commentary, that should give you adequate context for my reply, copied below.

--Wag--

------------------------------

I'm not 100% sure I get what you're trying to say, but I appreciate the effort. It seems almost that you're worried about the mechanism of establishing truth. Almost as if to say, "IF god could have done this at all, why leave any doubt about it?"

There are two kinds of people in the world (don't you just hate that statement?!!): One type questions everything, another type questions nothing. For some, it's good enough that the Bible says it. For others, no statement of any kind is good enough, it has to be seen with their own eyes. The two extremes are both faulty.

There are, of course, every degree of people in between. These are the ones with whom we take an interest.

These people are the reason we have science. People want to learn how things work. Sometimes, so much so, that they will buck the current trends in order to establish the facts and truths they discover. Galileo was an example of this. Prior to him, the general belief about the earth was that all planets and the sun and moon all orbited the earth. Galileo proved conclusively that in order for that to be true, the planets would have to have a kind of spiral orbit and even that concept was not fully workable. Finally, he broke the mold and discovered that the planets orbited the sun and the moon did, in fact, orbit the earth.

Pretty major accomplishment in his day but even more so because as a result, he was roundly persecuted by the church until later, others proved that he was correct. The church had to back off eventually but not before they went to great lengths to castigate Galileo, et al. I rather suspect that Galileo and his associates would have had to suggest that they were seeking to know the wonders of God's creation in order to avoid a righteous lynch mob but I digress a small degree!

So what is truth, really? How does "truth" compare to "fact?" Remember, Indiana Jones in, "Raiders of the Lost Ark?" He tells his archaeology class, "In archaeology, we deal with fact, not truth. If you want to talk about truth, the philosophy class is down the hall."

It's a salient point. Fact can be demonstrated with repeatable tests. For example, 2+2=4. A fact. We can test it over and over and over again and get the same answer. Every person on the planet can reproduce the result the exact same way every time. That's science. It doesn't always work, though. Science has it's failings, to be sure but it grows over time. More and more facts are discovered all the time because of the innate curiosities of scientists and their overwhelming drive to see things as they really are. Vision is increased over time and they can see more and more and more. That they often raise more questions in their answers is merely an assurance that science will continue to invfluence our lives

Truth, on the other hand, is centered very squarely on the foundation of Perception. How I see something may differ from how you see something. Given the same set of facts, we may both draw conclusions and opinions which differ mightily from each other. As we explain and write and speak of our thoughts on the subject, we may actually cause greater variation of thought as time progresses rather than actually coming to closer agreement on the topics. Othes who listen to us may choose sides or further muddy the waters with their own opinions. Two types of people, remember?!

Fact, you can't debate. Yes, there are fossils in the earth. Yes, they are hundreds of thousands or millions or even several billion years old. We can't debate that these are facts, nor can we dismiss them out of hand and ignore them. They are there in our faces. What we can still debate in the absence of additional facts, however, is how the fossils got there. That's where truth comes in. It may occur to me to believe that it's all evidence of evolution, in spite of missing facts. You, on the other hand, may see it as evidence of the might of god, also in spite of missing facts. We either argue about the truth or go our separate ways, content that we have the truth of the matter firmly in hand.

We both do exactly that, each convinced of the efficacy of our respective truths. However, the next blast of fact may dislodge our grip on truth fairly readily if we are open-minded. On the other hand, either of us my cling to that truth forever and shelter it, guarding it from all assault and variation if we, in fact, decide that no other outer influence may sway us from the truth. Dogma, blind chauvenism and unchallenged loyalty may prevent us from revising our truths when it is appropriate.

It goes both ways, though. At times, we may actually devoid ourselves of truth AND fact by failing to test the things in which we believe. That little collection of truths we hold in our hands. Granted, you can't always run around testing everything which comes our way against our individual handfuls of truths. We don't have time. However, we do have the catalog of truths in our minds and various instances of fact may raise questions about those truths if we allow them to do so. Nothing wrong with it either way. As we expose our truths to scrutiny, we find that healthy truths will flourish and grow and unhealthy truths can be easily discarded without further question.

A difficulty arises when someone approaches us with an assertion of truth. Is he using fact or truth to support his position? Often, truth is camoflaged as fact. It takes a degree of discernment to tell the difference. Avowals of, "He said, She said," or, "I saw it in an article," are sometimes used to support various assertions. Still, we can and should take the time to review and suggest that it be studied and discussed further in order to discover whether or not the statement is factual or not and whether or not the truth, OUR truth, needs to be redefined or refreshed.

Fact is discovered. Truth is created and destroyed.

Which brings us back to the beginnning of the thought. The Bible says it, is it true? Who cares? Is it factual, is the question. The original documents are available. Do the say what interpretation says they say? Yes, they do. Were they inspired by god or insanity? Were the stories faith-promoting folktales and legends or were they historically factual? Depending on the document, it could be a little of both. COULD be. Some of them, we don't know for sure. Some of them we do. Does a statement of fact make another unproven statement a fact also because the two are contained within the same cover? No. Each must stand on its own. Did Babylon conquer Israel about 600BC? Yup. Did they steal the ark of the covenant from the temple? We don't know.

Did Jesus get crucified? The bible says so. Is it fact? Does the secular record say? Josephus seems to think so, if I recall correctly. Was anyone resurrected from the dead? Facts outside the Bible do not support that assertion. We don't know if it's fact or not. Using the Bible as evidence, however, we can suggest it as truth to some and they will accept it as truth in their own hearts. Lacking supporting fact, they can use another agent of truth called "faith."

Faith can be a tricky thing. Grounded faith would propel us to act with the belief that something good will come of that act. Believing I can make a million bucks, I may act in faith by investing in the stock market and will do so with research and intelligence to maximize my chances of success.

There are those, however, who will cry, "Faith!" in prayer for the succor of the destitute and yet, they will not bring a sack of groceries to solve the immediate problem. By the same token, these same will sit in church regularly and frequently, all the while using faith to cover and protect their truths from the assault of fact. True faith would take truth and hold it to the candle of fact in order to assure oneself that the truth is well-grounded and can bear scrutiny.

I think lack of scrutiny is a failing among many, scientists and religionists both. Scientists, however, do have the means to test each other in many cases. Religionists . . . . What do they use to test each other? Assertions of fact? Very often not. Very often, only the Bible is used and the isolationist nature of the tome renders it too subjective for adequate testing. Opinion abounds as to beliefs, truths, religions and faiths. The claim that any one religion or sect could be a sole repository of truth becomes highly questionable at best and laughable at worst.

Who's going to win? The man who will ask questions. The man who will seek for answers at every possible turn. The man who is willing to understand that not everything WILL have an answer and that some truths must stand without scrutiny, simply because the truths cannot be tested against fact. It is the man who is willing to reassess his truths as often as possible and add new ones while disposing of those which are moldy and full of decay.

Truth is a good thing because it gives us a beautiful world in which to live outside the cold sterility of fact. Fact, however, is a good thing because it gives us the ability to check that the colors of our truths will still appease the eye.

If you believe in god and you search for answers from his good graces, you may find that there are missing facts. Until such time as god chooses to provide, it's possible to use faith to shore up truths in spite of absent facts. It may, however, cause you to doubt the efficacy of a god and that's okay. So long as the faiths used to support truths are not so exclusionary that we cannot see the light of additional information which may give us reason to conclude that perhaps we at least need to reassess the efficacy of our personal handful of truths.

At least, I think so.

:-)

--Wag--

Prejudicial voting

2006-10-19T22:40:00.000-06:00

The e-mail below came to me the other day. I gave the reply following.

--Wag--

Original e-mail:

Christians Voting for Cultists?

By Richard Engle, President NFRA

Can a Christian vote for someone who is a member of a cult? As the elections of 2006 are upon us many Christians face a dilemma. Do they vote for a member of a church that they consider a cult or do they vote for someone who is a member of a denomination that is widely accepted?

In Oklahoma the incumbent Governor, Brad Henry, is officially Baptist but is pro-abortion, pro-gambling, and pro-corrupt contracts with tribal bosses. The Republican challenger, Congressman Ernest Istook, is pro-life, against expansion of gambling, and opposes the corrupt contracts. He is also a Mormon.

Go to any Christian bookstore and look for books about cults and you will find that Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are the most commonly referenced cults with others adding Seventh Day Adventists, and the Worldwide Church of God or the United Pentecostals.

The first thing that must be done is to define a cult. Many dictionaries define cult as nothing more than a sect. By such definition each and every denomination would be counted as a cult. As such the negative connotation would be greatly diminished. What is ordinarily intended is a religious group that significantly deviates from the authentic/original. By such definition the Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox might consider all Protestants to be cultists.

The contemporary American understanding of what is and isn't a cult stems from the Fundamentalist movement. Fundamentalism, far from being a 'lock step' religious orthodoxy, was actually a movement towards ecumenicism. The premise being that any 'true' Christian may well fellowship with any other despite the denomination if they held to the 'fundamentals of the faith'. Any group that denied these fundamentals was something less than, or other than Christian.

Fundamentalists hold to 'five fundamentals of the faith' but oddly they identify six. They are the Bible as inspired and inerrant, the deity of Christ, the Virgin Birth, Christ's substitutionary death, Christ's resurrection, and the Second Coming. In some references the deity of Christ and the Virgin Birth are combined as one and in others the substitutionary death and resurrection of Christ are combined. Any church that upholds these without compromise could well consider itself a fundamentalist church.

The liberal media has portrayed fundamentalism as a theology that allows for no variation whatsoever and one that condemns all who hold to any such variation to hell. Reality is that fundamentalists disagree among themselves on any number of theological issues other than the five (six) and even on issues that approach them such as details regarding the Second Coming.

What Constitutes a Cult?

Well, a cult of Christianity must under any definition be a variation from Christianity. Buddhism, for example, is a completely separate religion. Buddhists hold to a very distinct understanding of religious ideals including morality. A Christian voter may well wish to have persons in public office who agree with their beliefs and values. Preferring Christians in elective positions is completely understandable. What happens if one candidate claims Christianity but has public policy positions that are anathema to Christians? America faced this question when Jimmy Carter faced reelection. Carter broadly proclaimed his 'born again' beliefs but supported abortion on demand. Governor Brad Henry can be compared to Carter's
inconsistencies on several fronts.

Should we vote for a Mormon?

All of us attend or are members of churches that we each believe to be the best available. If the church across the street were better we would be there! Yet when we vote we are faced with choosing among candidates that seldom hold to our own exact theological positions. Perhaps we could set aside the question of a candidate's eternal status and seek to understand his political positions and his moral standards. Without a biblically based moral ethic it is difficult to trust that the candidate will govern in accordance with his promises.

For the purposes of public policy and how religion impacts such, I would suggest that any who accept the moral standards of the Bible (Old Testament, New Testament, or both) have a common cause. Observant Jews, Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants, Mormons, and all others who so revere the scriptures are in the same boat and need to work together on matters of public policy. We may disagree on matters eternal but can and should agree on things temporal.

Anyone who holds to a Biblical ethical standard is helpful in our conservative cause. I can, will, and have voted for persons who are Mormons. I will be voting for one for Governor of Oklahoma. I know the man well and trust he would be one of the best Governors in our history. I would not knowingly vote for an atheist and don't know of a Hindu or Buddhist that I could support. Why? Because I don't trust that they hold to the same basic moral standards. If I can't trust that they understand good and evil as I do then I cannot trust them with the public purse.

Let us draw a line of distinction that works in public policy. Realize that a Biblical ethic is what we need and we (or more likely, God) can sort out the rest later.

My response:

Very interesting, G.

Among other things, a cult is a group which struggles to eliminates a person's ability or willingness to think for himself. That includes Amway, The Boy Scouts, American patriotism (I am willingly guilty here) and various churches, companies and other types of organizations. My opinion, of course, but its toehold is planted firmly in the writings of Steven Hassan. VERY good reading, especially his second book, "Releasing the Bonds." But I digress.

That a person could be prejudicial in voting is just as good a study as any other activity wherein prejudice is practiced. The fact is, only ONE criteria need be present to cast a valid vote: Can the person do the job with integrity and compentence?

Having said that, it is a fact that Mormons typically have a religious agenda that supercedes everything else in their lives, including their own families. I will suggest that it would not be easy to find an avowed Mormon who is not guided by their dogmas so it would be difficult to research and figure this one out case by case. The easy thing would be to vote against a Mormon, even though there is always the possibility that you would be voting for a lesser qualified candidate or even a reprobate. How would you feel to know that a Mormon political official claims that his god is guiding his hand?

I'm not defending Mormons here. In fact, plug any religious cult name in its place and the discussion is identical in every way. It is merely a defense of the fact that voting is a serious issue which should not be relegated to the realm of thoughtless dogma and prejudice.

Atheists might prove to be a special case but again, it's no slam dunk to make the decision not to vote for an atheist. Can the guy handle the business of his office or not? Will he do so with integrity? I know plenty of atheists I would trust far more than some errant Christians we have seen over the years but as we all know, there are exceptions present in every group of people, either way, good or bad. Again, I'm not defending atheists, per se, although the repetition here might make it seem so. The stark comparison appeared to give the discussion greater clarity.

It boils down to several very important conceptual questions, one of which is, "How lazy are you willing to be in your voting?"

Food for thought?

2006-05-29T12:33:00.000-06:00

I received this from a friend today. It IS thought-provoking. The question is, "How do we preserve a nation AND preserve individuality and personal freedom?" I'm sure you've all read Huxley's book, "Brave New World," but have you read his recap on it: "Brave New World: Revisited?" The first was entertainment. The second is chilling. In and of itself, it's frightening. In view of our current social climate, it's terrifying.

We will ultimately have a choice to make:

1. Country
2. Self

Which do YOU love more?

I post the following to stimulate thought. I don't necessarily endorse or contend with the article.

My only other comment about it is that we live in a time when people desire divisiveness more than they desire unity. Keep that thought in mind as you read this.

--Wag--

---------------------

Food for THOUGHT?

We know Dick Lamm as the former Governor of Colorado. In that context his thoughts are particularly poignant. Last week there was an immigration overpopulation conference in Washington, DC, filled to capacity by many of American's finest minds and leaders. A brilliant college professor by the name of Victor Hansen Davis talked about his latest book, Mexifornia," explaining how immigration - both legal and illegal - was destroying the entire state of California. He said it would march across the country until it destroyed all vestiges of The American Dream.

Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a stunning speech on how to destroy America. The audience sat spellbound as he described eight methods for the destruction of the United States. He said, "If you believe that America is too smug, too self-satisfied, too rich, then let's destroy America. It is not that hard to do. No nation in history has survived the ravages of time. Arnold Toynbee observed that all great civilizations rise and fall and that an autopsy of history would show that all great nations commit suicide.

Here is how they do it," Lamm said. "First, to destroy America, turn America into a bilingual or multi-lingual and bicultural country." History shows that no nation can survive the tension, conflict, and antagonism of two or more competing languages and cultures.

It is a blessing for an individual to be bilingual; however, it is a curse for a society to be bilingual. The historical scholar, Seymour Lipset, put it this way: "The histories of bilingual and bicultural societies that do not assimilate are histories of turmoil, tension, and tragedy." Canada, Belgium, Malaysia, and Lebanon all face crises of national existence in which minorities press for autonomy, if not independence. Pakistan and Cyprus have divided. Nigeria suppressed an ethnic rebellion. France faces difficulties with Basques, Bretons, and Corsicans."

Lamm went on: Second, to destroy America, "Invent 'multiculturalism' and encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. I would make it an article of belief that all cultures are equal. That there are no cultural differences, I would make it an article of faith that the Black and Hispanic dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.

Third, "We could make the United States an 'Hispanic Quebec' without much effort. The key is to celebrate diversity rather than unity. As Benjamin Schwarz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: "The apparent success of our own multiethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by tolerance, but by hegemony. Without the dominance that once dictated ethnocentricity and what it meant to be an American, we are left with only tolerance and pluralism to hold us together." Lamm said, "I would encourage all immigrants to keep their own language and culture I would replace the melting pot metaphor with the salad bowl metaphor. It is important to ensure that we have various cultural subgroups living in America enforcing their differences rather than as Americans, emphasizing their similarities."

"Fourth, I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least educated. I would add a second underclass, unassimilated, undereducated, and antagonistic to our population. I would have this second underclass have a 50% dropout rate from high school."

"My fifth point for destroying America would be to get big foundations and business to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic identity, and I would establish the cult of 'Victimology.' I would get all minorities to think that their lack of success was the fault of the majority. I would start a grievance industry blaming all minority failure on the majority population."

"My sixth plan for America's downfall would include dual citizenship, and promote divided loyalties. I would celebrate diversity over unity. I would stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse people worldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other -- that is, when they are not killing each other. A diverse, peaceful, or stable society is against most historical precedent. People undervalue the unity it takes to keep a nation together. Look at the ancient Greeks. The Greeks believed that they belonged to the same race; they possessed a common language and literature; and they worshipped the same gods. All Greece took part in the Olympic Games. A common enemy, Persia, threatened their liberty. Yet all these bonds were not strong enough to overcome two factors: local patriotism and geographical conditions that nurtured political divisions. Greece fell. "E. Pluribus Unum" - (From many, one.) In that historical reality, if we put the emphasis on the 'pluribus' instead of the 'Unum,' we will balkanize America as surely as Kosovo."

"Next to last, I would place all subjects off limits; make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of 'diversity.' I would find a word similar to 'heretic' in the 16th century -- that stopped discussion and paralyzed thinking. Words like 'racist' or 'xenophobe' halt discussion in and debate. Having made America a bilingual/bicultural country, having established multi-culturism, having the large foundations fund the doctrine of 'Victimology,' I would next make it impossible to enforce our immigration laws. I would develop a mantra: That because immigration has been good for America, it must always be good. I would make every individual immigrant symmetric and ignore the cumulative impact of millions of them."

In the last minute of his speech, Governor Lamm wiped his brow. Profound silence followed. Finally, he said, "Lastly, I would censor Victor Hanson Davis's book Mexifornia. His book is dangerous. It exposes the plan to destroy America. If you feel America deserves to be destroyed, don't read that book."

There was no applause. A chilling fear quietly rose like an ominous cloud above every attendee at the conference. Every American in that room knew that everything Lamm enumerated was proceeding methodically, quietly, darkly, yet pervasively across the United States today. Discussion is being suppressed. Over 100 languages are ripping the foundation of our educational system and national cohesiveness. Even barbaric cultures that practice female genital mutilation are growing as we celebrate 'diversity.' American jobs are vanishing into the Third World as corporations create a Third World. America - take note of California and other states -- to date, ten million illegal aliens and growing fast. It is reminiscent of George Orwell's book "1984." In that story, three slogans are engraved in the Ministry of Truth building: "War is peace," "Freedom is slavery," and "Ignorance is strength."

Governor Lamm walked back to his seat. It dawned on everyone at the conference that our nation and the future of this great democracy is deeply in trouble! and worsening fast. If we don't get this immigration monster stopped within three years, it will rage like a California wildfire and destroy everything in its path, especially The American Dream.

---------------------

Some last comments: The greatest strength of any economy is it's people. The article above suggests that diversity and divisionism are evils to be avoided. That is partly true. However, it would be equally problematic to be isolationist and avoid diversity altogether. A balance of the two must be maintained.

Is our problem diversity and tolerance as the article above suggests or is it hatred of others? If your black/white/hispanic/Chinese/Muslim/Indian neighbor is attacked will you rise up to that person's defense? Will you let that neighbor fall prey instead of lending your strength to him? Would he do it for you? What if his attacker were of your race not his? His race, not yours?

What is your choice?

--Wag--

A couple of cool sites

2006-05-12T05:29:00.000-06:00

As president of The Exmormon Foundation (http://www.exmormonfoundation.org) I get the privilege of having ideas passed along to me which are intriguing, to say the least.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a moderator at the Exmormon Forums. It's run by a host named Infymus who I don't know yet. I say, "yet," because I hope to get to know him at some point in the near future. As a matter of fact, there's a good possibility I already know who he is! Small electronic world out there.

But while Exmormon Forums is intriguing and worthwhile, his other site, The Mormon Curtain, is even more fascinating. I'd love to have my blogs be even a percent as comprehensive as his is.

Maybe Infymus is a her?

--Wag--

A Check

2006-05-06T13:46:00.000-06:00

Wrote myself a check for a million bucks today.

--Wag--

The rights of religion

2006-03-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Many of you have seen this before. It was spread all over the internet just after the human tragedy at Columbine. It was posted yesterday on a board I frequent and it inspired some new thought, included after the text.

-----------------Begin-----------------

DARRELL SCOTT TESTIMONY

Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm? On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:

"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.

"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.

I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"
You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!

"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc. Spiritual presence were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs -- politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws.

"Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.

"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes-He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!

I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA - I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first
stone!

My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"

-----------------End-----------------

My comments:

I do not believe in prayer, of course. Anyone who reads below should be able to figure that out quite easily. However, I adamantly believe in people's right to take comfort in their own sanctuary, physical or mental. If that includes prayer to their respective deity, who am I to wish to deny it to them? Legislating morality is insane. Robbing people of their ability to pray in any place for any reason is insane. I may be an atheist but I don't understand atheists' mentality for denying people their religious freedom. Indeed, many atheists have become that which they vehemently criticize. It's divisive and destructive to the fibrous bonds which have held this country together for 220+ years. It's not at all about who, how, where or what you worship. It's about your freedom to do so. THAT is what brought our country together and has held it together for so long.

I find it nearly calamitous that there are those who believe we should create any law restricting religious practices in publicly-owned places. Religion does a LOT of good in this world, probably moreso than any other type of organization that exists. More than government, that's for sure. Church welfare programs kick the hell out of gov't instituted welfare systems and guess what? Nearly ZERO fraud or graft!

At the very least, religion has done so much good for this country they deserve the right to pray when and wherever they wish.

--Wag--

P.S. Don't think I sympathize with religious teachings. I do not. But I do subscribe to the idea that tolerance is a virtue and kindness to others a necessity.

Punished by the Laws of Insanity!

2006-03-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Can you be punished for spelling it right?

What if you send an e-mail to someone very important? A top customer, a prospective employer, a potential business partner or venture capitalist. You take the time to look up various words in the dictionary to be sure they are spelled correctly.

However, the recipient, being a little less well-educated or less diligent than you, reads your e-mail and wrongly decides that you've spelled those words wrong. He deletes your e-mail, vowing never to associate with you again because you, "can't spell!" He moves on, ignorant of his error (and your diligence and care while writing) and you waste a few more contact attempts on the guy, never knowing why he is no longer interested in speaking with you.

Tough situation.

Remember David Howard? He was that guy in Washington, D.C. a few years ago who used the word, "niggardly" and was forced to resign because of it. Someone or several someones got bent out of shape because they thought he was uttering a racial epithet. Much ado was made and some called for his resignation which he eventually gave. Columnist Tony Snow said Howard had been forced to apologize for the ignorance of others.

Painfully true.

Of course, these particular uneducated idiots, by getting all up in arms about it, revealed their own ignorance and broadcast it all over creation. There have been all kinds of remarks made about how Howard, "should have known," that the word could be misconstrued by people who heard it and Howard himself actually apologized for it. Indeed, it's said in such a way as to assume that Howard is the one who was the imbecile for using the term. Kind of like attacking the rape victim for the assault.

Howard lost his job to fools. Maybe he shouldn't have given in but I suppose he didn't want to perpetuate his association with people too stupid to understand a simple word. On the other hand, something else was lost in the process: Ignorance, ineptitude and stupidity were validated as being okay. Ignorance was glorified and intelligence was vilified.

It's the same as the schoolyard bully who harasses the nerd on the playground in third through tenth grades because he got an 'A' in English class. Why is it that excellence is so often downplayed while stupidity is heralded? Ever hear of Outcome Based Education? It ranks (deliberate use of the term) right up there with another rank program called Affirmative Action.

I don't think the internet is to blame for the Howard fiasco, however, it has had a hand in perpetuating ignorance alongside education. Especially when it comes to things like spelling and other word craft. I'm sure many of you have encountered enough spelling and grammar errors in your daily web perusals to make you go half insane. I've even been in the middle of writing some diatribe or other and found myself typing "site" instead of "sight" and vice-versa. Someone I respect and admire once pointed out that I had used "their" when I should have used "they're." Maddening, of course.

For me, the problem is one of having seen the words misspelled so often that I've become acclimated to seeing them written incorrectly. When I see someone else's spelling and grammar errors, I know what the guy meant and castigating him for his goof just isn't a big deal in many cases. Too time consuming at the very least. Either that, or the error is on Yahoo or some other big name news service and who do you contact over there?

What if you send an e-mail to a major supplier overseas and their primary language is not English? I could, at this juncture, make a switch to suggesting that knowing your audience would be wise. If you use big words, long sentences and English slang and jargon, you're just begging for trouble. If your contact doesn't understand English very well and you know it, tone it down for them so you don't force them to go looking everything up in their English/native language dictionary, cursing you all the while!

Granted, we all drop the occasional typo here and there. There are plenty in my blog which I haven't caught. Hopefully, I'll get to them some day. In spite of the potential hypocrisy inherent in writing this little blurb, the fact remains: The language is getting slaughtered out there. And it's killing us.

--Wag--

A Soldier's Plea

2006-03-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

I've made no secret of the fact that I'm an atheist so a plea for prayer is meaningless to me in and of itself. However, the trials and concerns of the soldiers in our military are very real, regardless of the religious focus of this e-mail. Some things really tear at your heart, just 'cause we're all human together.

Pray if you must but I suggest, rather, that if you have opportunity to do so, send care packages, "adopt" a military family here at home and take care of their daily needs. Regardless of any debate about whether or not prayer or religion have any power, there can be no doubt whatsoever that rolling up your sleeves and going to work actually DOES have power. It doesn't even always take money. Mostly just your time. You'll see what I mean if you read this e-mail below.

I submit it with no edits.

--Wag--

------------------Original e-mail----------------

Hello Everyone,

I miss you all! I am ALIVE AND WELL! I do have to say AGAIN, that God is Awesome. He offers so much Amazing Graze to us all. I don't know why we doubt.

Well, I am healthy and doing just fine. I do miss my wife and my boy.

The reason for this email is to ask for a PRAYER REQUEST in detail for every soldier in harms way. It will be a VERY long email. It's up to you now to stop or read on. If you read on, I want to make you think and to do just what I ask in the end.

I hope not to upset you with this email. I just wanted to give you something directly to be praying for when you do pray for the troops. I have sat down with my troops and jotted down all types of prayer requests and came up with all down to reality prayer requests.

If you don't believe in prayer or don't believe in God, then this email should shed some light on what soldiers deal with everyday for you.

It's not all about guns and killing, blood and gore.

I hear from everyone back home and they tell me that they have me and all the troops in their prayers. BUT do some actually mean it? Or do they just say it out of repetitiveness and saying the right thing to a soldier in a war? Do some really know how to pray? Or do you know what to pray for?

Well, I want to challenge you today to pray extra hard now for these soldiers and I. I am one, but their are many, many soldier's and civilian contractor's here in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait and around the world serving our Great Country of the United States.

When you pray for the troops,...what do you pray for FOR THEM? Other than safety from harms way. It not all about killing and death here.

I see soldiers that are looking for something!

They walk around with sad faces and anger attitudes. They are lost people!

Soldiers are searching for God, but they don't know that.

Soldiers are suffering from boredom. The ever famous, "Hurry up and Wait".

Soldiers are suffering from loneliness, being away from home. Feeling like we are in prison on these camps. We can't just get up, jump in the car and drive down to the mall. We can't go to the park and play on the swings with our kids. We can't order pizza and have it delivered. It's like we are in prison. Locked up in jail. We can't go down town to the watch the NBA game or the NFL game in the stadium. And for me, I can't go to the NASCAR Races.

Soldiers are suffering from the addiction to pornography.

Soldiers are suffering from the addition of masturbation.

Soldiers talk constantly about the opposite sex.

Soldiers are influenced by music that sings about violence and killing.

Soldiers are spending too much money on nothing. Shopping the Internet and ordering stuff to satisfy their emptiness.

Soldiers have credit card bills, car payments, mortgage payment, and other bills that is hard to take care of just because soldiers are a half a world away.

Soldiers are wanting to stop smoking but the addiction and stress of war have got them locked in it's grasp.

Soldiers are having alcohol with drawls here. Pray that they become sober out of this. Having alcohol is prohibited for the soldier here in war. But the build up gets out of hand, a soldier returns home for leave or redeployment and dies from drunk driving. What a story that is.....a soldier survives war but dies right at home by a head on car accident.

Soldiers have bad swearing habits. The use of bad language is used in every other word of speech.

Soldiers have goals that they want to accomplish.

Soldiers are wanting to lose weight.

Soldiers want to break the addiction to drinking.

Soldiers battle the unspoken reality of prejudice.

Soldiers battle the unspoken thoughts of female leadership vs. male leadership.

Soldiers argue about religion.

I have a soldier who is reading a book on Satanic Verses. Pray for him!

Married Soldiers are in the middle of adultery.

Soldiers wondering if their husbands or wives are being faithful while they are away serving their country.

Single soldiers are looking for love.

Soldiers are going through divorce.

Soldiers are loosing their children in child custody battles because they are here in Iraq. The court Judges in the states see that soldiers are not at home supporting their kids and for that reason their kids are taken from them.

Most soldiers are young kids right out of high school, that haven't even experienced life as you know it in the adult world of America. Teenager soldiers, right now, all they know is war! These experiences could effect their out look on life when they return home.

Pray for our families back in the states.

I ask for prayers for the Iraqi people! Their families!

Pray for the Iraqi citizens who have stepped up and are becoming Iraqi police or Iraqi Army soldiers. They endure much also, trying to take over the roles of running their own country and bringing security to their own families.

Praying for our enemy, the insurgents.

Pray for our fear of I.E.D.'s.

Pray for the reality of incoming mortar rounds.

Worried about RPG's when flying in Helicopters.

Wondering about V.B.I.E.D.'s when in traffic in local towns and villages.

Thinking that the next insurgent with a B.B.I.E.D.'s doesn't get close to you.

Pray for every day missions of soldiers as they go outside the wire and into the view of the enemy. Pray for the troops that they continue to focus on the mission and not be distracted with all of these mentioned things in this email that I have addressed.

Pray for Commanders and high ranking leaders, that they are the ones making life threatening decisions. Having to send out the troops to carry out the mission.

Pray for the mechanics, so they may keep the trucks and tanks running good while out on missions or behind enemy lines.

Pray for the weather. Soldiers deal with extreme heat and cold. We work right through the rain and the dust storms.

Pray for the health of every soldier. Pray that sickness is not hindering the individual from doing his or her mission.

Pray for each soldier that carries a weapon. Friendly Fire! Friendly fire is something that happens when another U.S. soldier accidentally fires off a round and it hit another U.S. soldier. Either he or she is injured or in some cases, even killed by a stray bullet.

We work during the holidays and weekends when you all back home are enjoying the day off to be with family or go to the movies.

Pray for rest, for the soldier. He or she puts in long hours and keeps going.
Soldiers are up early again the next day exercising and getting ready for another day of business.

Pray for our Leader's in Washington. Pray for them even though you don't support their decisions.

We as soldiers do our jobs even when politicians fight among themselves.

We soldiers do our jobs even when U.S. citizens protest what we do here.

If you don't support this war or think that this war is worth being here, think about this,....with the Iraq war, it has draw terrorist to Iraq and away from the United States. This war keeps you safer even more there in the U.S. It draws the attention here and away from you.

Pray for the soldiers attending their fellow soldier's memorial services.

At home, a U.S. civilian will probably attend a memorial service for a family member or friend who had passed away of natural causes or an accident, maybe every three years.
Here, a soldier will attend more than he or she would want to, in his or her entire life time. The memorial service would be of a friend who became family, who became a close brother or sister during this war.

Pray for the families who have lost soldiers/love ones in this war. Many soldiers have died for the price of Freedom both past and present.

As a U.S. Army Reservist or a National Guard soldier, they wonder if they will still have their civilian jobs when they get home after their time is done serving their country.

You are not going to hear this type of detail information or a prayer request from the media or an average soldier. God has put this on my mind to send out a plea to all you believer's in prayer, to take time and LITERALLY PRAY to God the Father. Ask Jesus to intervene in the warfare of the mind of the soldier. Ask the Holy Spirit to carry your prayers across the world to every soldier fighting to defend the Freedom that we all enjoy in the United States.

There is also the prayer for the reunion of families when soldiers return home. I have been there once before from my last deployment, and I know what it is like to return home after the experiences that have come our way.

Soldiers going home are dealing with PTSD. It starts out as a normal response to an extremely abnormal experience such as being in a war zone. It can happen to any soldier. Soldiers who have served in war often experience PTSD and commonly develop other conditions such as alcohol use, depression and even consider suicide. Most soldiers don't understand what is happening in their lives. They experience dreams, horror and unwanted flashbacks of gun shots and mortar rounds. A sound at home may trigger these flashbacks. Another symptom of PTSD is the withdrawal of family member interaction. Many lose their self-esteem.

While being away from your family, you become independent. Your family has to also become independent. You have to survive with out them. They have live with out you until you return home. Families grow apart during times like this with year long deployments.

I have been there before and I have experienced that same thing. When I came home from my first deployment, those were some of the things I deal with. I couldn't really explain what was happening to me, but I know it effected my wife and my boy. They saw it in me. I felt normal, but normal to me was totally different than before I left home. I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. and I was put on medication. And the funny part about that is, I am just in a support unit. I am a reservist but right in the middle with the regular active duty soldiers. The things we see and experience as soldiers is something you can't explain. It's not easy for someone to understand and feel unless you have experienced it for yourself.

The only thing soldiers know right now is how to survive in a war zone coming from Iraq and Afghanistan.

We deal with daily mortar rounds coming into our camps from the outside of the FOB. Explosions make crater in the ground or damage buildings. Soldiers have been badly hurt by mortars even from just exercising, doing a nice run around the camp and the shrapnel of a mortar injures the soldiers.

When on a convoy, we deal with the fact that our vehicle may blow up from an I.E.D., a road side bomb.

We are drilled with pre-meditated actions and rehearsals of being ambushed by the enemy.

If we fly on a helicopter, there is the fear of being blown out of the sky with a RPG.

This is war.

We are as safe as we can be. We are equipped with the best that the military can provide for us. All of our vehicles are armored now. We wear vest that have bullet proof plates and also have extra protection everywhere possible. A Helmet, eye wear/safely glasses and gloves is our normal uniform.

The world is worried about Iran and their bombs. We need to be concerned about our sin and the lost souls of our soldiers.

Soldiers talk about motorcycles and purchasing sports bikes or Harley's when they return home after this deployment. Military studies show that there have been more deaths of soldiers who have who died racing motorcycles at home after surviving the war in Afghanistan and Iraq since Sept. 11, 2001. The numbers keep rising.

Speed is something that gives a person a rush. After coming from this extreme rush of weapons and the fire power of tanks and bombs, that rush is gone. Soldiers look for a way to find that rush again. Motorcycles don't help.

I have attached a picture of my workers and I. This is my team I work with. I am their boss/their escort. These guys have become my friends. They are local Iraqi men from towns near by and come to work with us. They are paid for their services of $50.00 a week.

These men have families to provide for. I have gotten to know them. I know about their families.

I am 32 years old and the majority of these men are my age. You can see the effects of a war torn country in them and you can hear it in their voices. They have aged skin to look like old men but with the playfulness of young boys.

The guy in front holding the clear cup is 30 years old and has three kids, all boys. The oldest is 6 years old, the middle boy is 3 years old, the youngest is only a year old.....oh, and he has one on the way. His wife is pregnant. She's due here in a few months. He is a very nice down to earth person. He's just like us. They are not the enemy.

One thing about these men is that they need glasses. They don't have good eye sight and no eye doctors or eye specialist to go to, along with no money to buy glasses for themselves. Their money goes to support the family.

I usually have treats and snacks for them when we take breaks. They work hard for me. And I am right there working with them. We work together as men, as if we are working behind our very own houses. Not as a soldier and the Iraqi people, but as FRIENDS.

I talk to my guys/my workers and ask them what life is like with out Saddam, and they say (with the best that we can communicate, with the language barrier) that it is very good with out Saddam in power.

They use to live with fear and worked hard for nothing. Now they are FREE and have the opportunity to make money to support their families.

Due to OPSEC, I don't want to give out their names and put them in danger. Just know that they are just as human as we are. Don't think of them as the bad guys. I know all you hear on the news is that another soldier died and a bomb blew up this or that. Well, I want you to know the real stories of what's happening here. For people who have nothing, we provided Freedom for them. Freedom to provide for their future, for their country.

We do have a chapel here on our FOB. And we do have chapel services with the sounds of war right outside during our services. A helicopter flys over. Or a mortar round hits somewhere on the FOB and you'll feel the impact. Or a fighter jet will roar over the sky above. Or a tank squeaks by right out side the chapel.

I ask for you to pray for the chaplins. They endure so much from questions of soldiers asking why did my friend die. There are few Chaplins to go around. They are stretched thin. Pray for their strength to continue to do their jobs to assist the troops.

Pray for the Christians who are holding steadfast. It's a constant battle. We battle with the reality of life, the reality of war being in the combat zone and the war of the unseen world of the devil. When we try to serve God more, that's when the devil works harder with trials and tribulations.

Pray that we stay humble.

Pray for the Christians who are backsliding. Many soldiers claim to be Christian but their roots don't show anything at all. As children they once had that first love. That first love is gone.

Pray for all branches of service. Here in the war zone or on ships out on foreign waters.

For the soldiers serving Homeland Security.

There may be different branches, The U.S. Marines, The U.S. Air Force, The U.S. Navy and the U.S. Army, but we are all fighting for the United States of America and defending our Freedom to live.

As for me, on a personal note...

I ask for prayer for my wife. I have left her with duties that I did on a normal basis when I was home. All because I had to leave for my call of duty. The house hold duties I took care of when I was home now have to be worked by my wife. Now she has to worry about them. With out me, she is a single parent, with my boy, working to keep my home together.

I ask for prayer for my house. The things inside my house. The washer and dryer, that they continue to run. For the plumbing and the water heater. For the electrical system and outlets. For the locks on the doors and the security of my home. For the smoke detectors and to keep the bugs out of my house, so my wife doesn't get scared of little spiders.

I ask for prayer for my trucks. The wear and tear of everyday driving. My job of changing of the oil and maintenance of the engine has to be done by someone else. My job of putting in gas and washing the truck. Pray for the safety of driving in traffic everyday for my family.

I ask for prayer for my leadership. That I lead my troops with the best of my ability and bring all my troops home to their families.

Pray that I don't take advantage of God's grace.

I ask for prayer in my spiritual life and in my prayer life.

I ask for prayer for my parents. They deal with the fact that their son is away at war. Pray for their health. Pray that stress does not take over their bodies. Pray that they know and acknowledge that I am in the hands of the Almighty God.

Pray for my future, that I survive this war. That I come home in one piece and that God has a long life planned for my family and I.

My BIGGEST PRAYER REQUEST though is, I ask for prayer of my boy. He is in his teenager years. He turned 14 this past December. Having a father figure physically there is needed, especially at this time of his life. I pray that he continues to understand why I must be away from him during these years of his life. I try to look at the bigger picture of why I am here.....but the father side of me keeps asking why I am away from my family....away from my boy when he needs me now the most.

I pray that he continues to help around the house with out question. For his school work, that his grades do not drop because I am away. I want prayer for his spiritual life. He is at an age that all his peers are pressuring him. The pressure of the world all around him. The music that is effecting his inner thoughts. The hormones of the opposite sex is upon him at this age. This is my most heart felt prayer request of all of Ssg Arviso's requests.

Again, I try to look at the big picture of why I am here, but I also fight the thoughts of why I shouldn't be here. I should be home with my family. I should be home with my boy teaching him, especially at his age.

"Lord, please...right now I ask that you touch the heart of my son and keep him close to you"....Amen!

To you, your world right now might be very hard, in your thoughts, but today I want to challenge you to think of others, in harms way. With the Grace of God, brave men and women do their jobs here to allow you to wake up with out the fear of mortar rounds falling from the sky. Wondering if you will be blown up today as you drive to work on the freeways. Wondering when the next memorial service you will be attending for your best friend.

You probably have read all the FORWARD emails of soldiers and our living conditions. Those emails are totally true for many soldiers. We endure the unthinkable for the common citizen of the United States.

You are probably thinking also that this stuff happens everywhere, all the details that I have described for you, happens even back in the States. And you are right, but we here have a bigger mission that we have to deal with on a daily basis. That's why I feel God has put this on my heart to cry out to my family and friends to give you in depth details of what you should be actually praying for when you do pray for the troops.

I am one, but with everyone's help, we can ask God to touch every individual soul in harms way through prayer. So, I challenge you to do something different about this email,...I challenge you to pray an extra prayer for that soldier who is offering his or her life for you and for our land. And not just today or tomorrow, but as long as we are at war with terrorism.

No, this is not one of them emails that something is gonna happen to you at this time or at that time. I am not asking you to forward this email to 5 people or 10. It's up to you what you think needs to be done with this email.

I want to say thank you though, for taking time out of your busy work schedule to read my plea.

I will leave you with this....it's from the Bible, the New King James Version. The verse is 2 Chronicles 7:14...."if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and PRAY and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land".

Thank you in advance. In silence, we look forward to your continued prayers.

From Baqubah, Iraq......

Staff Sgt Arviso, Oliver
United States Army Reserves
Operation: Iraqi Freedom IV 2005-2006

aka.........Ollie

Military Abbreviations Defined:

OPSEC = OPerational SECurity
FOB = Forward Operating Base
I.E.D. = Improvised Explosive Device
V.B.I.E.D. = Vehicle Borne Improvised Explosive Device
B.B.I.E.D. = Bicycle Borne Improvised Explosive Device
R.P.G. = Rocket Propelled Gernade
P.T.S.D. = Post Tramatic Stress Disorder

Baqubah = 30 miles north of Baghdad

"I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me"

Why Atheism?

2006-02-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

I got this e-mail today.

-----------------------------

Wag,

I am in the process of reading the site devoted to former members of the LDS church: http://www.exmormon.org/

Before proceeding, I should point out I am currently attending a Presbyterian Church locally but am not a member yet. I am not attempting to convince anyone to be saved, born again or join a particular church.

I am curious, however, why a former member of the LDS church would consider themself an atheist? It seems that much of the teaching of the LDS church is based on the conventional Bible so most serious ex-members of the church are better schooled in biblical teachings than the average Protestant or Catholic in mainline Christian churches.

If you are interested in pursuing this conversation further, email me back or drop me a line.

P

-----------------------------

My response:

-----------------------------

Dear P,

I'm certainly willing to engage in a conversation about this topic as it is one which is close to my heart. Likewise, however, I have no desire to convince people to believe as I do so in the process of our conversation, I will refrain from intentionally commenting in such a fashion.

Having said that, there was a time where I believed that those who adhere to the teachings of Christianity and Mormonism and various other religions were deluded and needed to have their heads examined. I should have had my own head examined for thinking such a thing! People are free to believe as they wish and deserve no disrespect for there beliefs.

I also believe people choose their beliefs. Sometimes at a subconscious level but they choose, nonetheless. Belief is not something which can be foisted upon someone and furthermore, it is mostly unproductive to attempt to convince another to change his beliefs. The saying goes, “The man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

At best, people can converse about belief in such a way as to enhance the understanding they have of one another's choice of belief. By the same token, belief is highly individual and despite the desire of most religions, especially Christian sects, to have everyone believe the same things, it doesn't happen that way.

Consider a married couple. Both spouses are Presbyterian since birth and yet, when it comes to the details of their individual beliefs, there are vast differences between the two. Many of the beliefs of each stem from childhood upbringing. Again, both have chosen their beliefs at some point along the way and adhere to them because they wish to do so.

As a result of choice of belief, I observe that people have a vested interest in assuring themselves that they have made the right decision. Much like buying a car or other big ticket item. Why did a guy buy the Chevy and not the Honda? It hardly matters, really; he tells all his friends it's better and that they should choose as he did. It's an attempt, not to service the needs of his compatriots, but an effort to reassure himself that he made the "right" decision.

Choice of religion tends to follow a similar pattern. There is an added element, however. That is that many who choose a particular religion have the belief that they are now the agents of God in some fashion or other and that God supports what they do. Such a belief creates a sense of duty and to renege on that sense of duty calls for some serious reflection on whether or not they are making the right choice to do so. After all, their eternal souls are at stake!

On to Mormonism. Mormonism teaches its people some key concepts. First, they teach that Mormonism is the "most correct" religion of all. Actually, they teach that the Book of Mormon is the most correct of all books and by extension, therefore, Mormonism is the most correct of all religions. Leaving Mormonism is to choose a “second-tier” religion.

Second, Mormonism teaches its membership that it is the only religion which could possibly be true because all other religions have broken away from the original church which Jesus established. (Of course, this sets aside any discussion of Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, etc. etc.) The only exception, of course, is Catholicism (sp?) and the Book of Mormon shoots that church down in no uncertain terms as being the church of the devil. Most protestant churches, having broken away from that church are again, by extension, satanic in origin and can't possibly have any redeeming value beyond that of their antecedent. Leaving Mormonism is to choose a “false” religion.

Thirdly, there is a long list of other teachings which Mormonism uses to create a sense of uniqueness and exclusivity for their members and makes them feel that they are above all the rest. Three degrees of glory, possession of new revelation, ergo, the Book of Mormon, D&C, PoGP, etc. Teachings of redemption of the dead, a more or less unique "health code," family unity beyond the grave, priesthood authority to the lay person, etc. etc. Leaving Mormonism is to choose commonality.

Fourth, Mormonism traps many of its membership with burdensome responsibilities: Early marriage and child-rearing too early in life, extreme financial burdens, demands on time from leadership, indoctrination 24/7 from childhood on, etc. etc. Leaving Mormonism requires you to give up the martyr’s mantle.

As an example, recently, exclusivity and elitism was further enhanced by Mormonism's proclamation that only the best of the best of the best of missionary candidates would be accepted into the missionary program. Of course, this means that if you're accepted, you're pretty unique among others. They did the same thing 20 years ago when I was preparing for my own mission and when I was accepted, it was a source of pride for me. I’ve heard they did the same thing 20 years prior to that as well. Needless to say, those who are "rejected" (if, in fact, many of them really are) are saddled with a lifetime of guilt should they be unable to shake it off in later years.

That leads me to my last point about Mormonism before I answer your question directly. I should add, that my long-winded posting above is going to be added to my blog along with your question (personal information on you to be deleted, of course).

Mormonism does a wonderful job of saddling its people with the added burdens of fear and guilt. "You'll lose your testimony if you do [insert long list of sins here]" "You're worthless if you . . . ." "If you don't go on a mission, you will never succeed in life." "The 'natural man' is an enemy to God." "You could never have accomplished any good thing without God's divine help." Again, the list is long and burdensome.

A Mormon who discovers his religion is not based in truth, fact or reality has a very unsettling experience, at best, or a traumatic one at worst. Such a Mormon begins to read and research and study a great many things and searches diligently for answers to his concerns. This is a person in search of information needed to determine how best to choose his or her next set of beliefs. Generally speaking, the seeker encounters a great deal of information which, depending on chance, will either reinforce the idea that religion is bunk or will bring about a conclusion that religion is okay, it's just Mormonism which is problematic. A fork may appear in the road and a choice is ultimately made.

When I chose atheism, I did it because not only did I not receive any spiritual confirmation that Mormonism was God's church but I also had no confirmation about my inquiries about other religions. Finally, I received no confirmation that God existed. From that time on, god became a lower-case entity simply because I didn't receive any answers from his spiritual messaging system.

For an instant, I was angry at god, but moments later, realized that if god were not there, there was no reason to be angry; anger at a non-existent entity was a waste of energy. The sense of freedom was instantaneous and at that moment, I had the most spiritual experience I'd ever had in my life as the burdens of my childhood religion left me for good. No guilt or fear remained and I rose from my final prayer a changed man.

A couple of years later, I began to study other religions. Buddhism comes the closest to appealing to me but only from its philosophical implications, not because I believe it has any corner on the market of what happens to us when we die. Other religions seem to contain many of the holes of factuality that Mormonism has. Christian religions based on the Bible are not, in my personal opinion, founded in fact. There are those who believe Biblical teachings are metaphorical, not historical, and that they still have merit. Such a concept relegates those teachings to the realm of philosophy at best, though there are some atheists who will take the insulting approach and call those stories fables.

I don't believe such disrespect is necessary. It insults the serious seeker of truth who made his belief decisions in an intelligent fashion and came to his conclusions about religion with real intent. Such disrespect alienates those who still adhere to their dogmatic beliefs of childhood and who could otherwise benefit from a study and review of their belief system.

To answer your question with the greatest sincerity and integrity, I may run the risk of offending you and others who believe in Christianity. Regardless, it's honest and I'll adhere to it, regardless of future foxholes in which I may find myself!

Of course, not all are atheists for the same reasons but for many, the Bible simply does not withstand the scrutiny of close examination any more than the tomes of Mormonism. The Book of Mormon fails under the light of honest perusal and the Bible, in the opinion of many atheists, has its own share of failings. The question, of course, is this: "Is the Bible the word of a loving god? Or any god?" My study leads me to believe it is not. To date, challenges to it have gone unanswered by more than mere platitudes of belief. At least, that is to say that so far, rational discussion of it and discussion of beliefs in general have gone fruitless. Adherents to Christianity get too emotional for rationality and frankly, most atheists do too. Generally speaking, of course. They remain, therefore, ignorant of the positions of the opposite opinion. Atheists treat believers with disdain and believers look down their noses at atheists.

Not in all cases, to be sure! There are plenty of those who are honest at heart and finally realize that in the end, it doesn't matter what you believe. What matters is that you treat others in this world with the respect they deserve as human beings or as children of god, depending on your perspective.

I'm interested in your thoughts on my impromptu treatise above!

-----------------------------

--Wag--

Baby Stuff

2005-12-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

My wife's cell phone rang one day a couple of years ago and this is what I heard on my end:

"Hello?"

Slight pause.

"SQUEEEEEEEAALLLLLL!!!!!"

My wife is about as even-tempered as they come. It took about half of our 16 years of marriage to get her trained that way and with the unfortunate help of some medical maladies, she's about as level-headed as a real woman can get. I count my lucky stars. So, when she squeals at someone on the phone at top volume, it gets my attention in a big way. In addition to scaring the ever-living hell outta me, it makes me wonder what on earth is so scary, thrilling or exciting as to get her to squeal like a banshee.

After scraping the shredded remains of myself off the wall, I looked over to see that it was a squeal of happy excitement and not one of pain and suffering. There have been other squeals from time to time during our marriage from either of us but this is not one of THOSE stories. Some other time, I promise.

The conversation continued, my wife dancing in place as she spoke. It looked like a version of the pee-pee dance on cocaine. Or what I would imagine such a dance to look like!

"That's SO INCREDIBELY AWESOME!! We're so happy for you!"

She already had my undivided attention but this really took the cake. She was telling someone how happy *I* was but I still had no clue as to what I should be so happy about. In an attempt to answer a bunch of questions, I gave her an ASL sign to ask, "Who the HELL is THAT?" (The nice thing about ASL is that you can communicate very effectively very quickly from across the room.) My wife fingerspelled back, "Godzilla." Well, that's what it looked like in the middle of the dance she was doing. (The bad thing about ASL is that it doesn't work well when someone has temporarily lost nearly all motor control.) I figured the, "Godzilla," interpretation of her signing was probably due to my own ineptitude with ASL. I'd just have to wait.

"Ohhhhh, you guys are so awesome! We can't believe you've actually decided to do it!"

I raised a questioning eyebrow and directed it at my wife, only be ignored. "Do it?" The first thing that came to mind was that someone was about to have sex. But out of the 1,000 or more people I know, all of them are already having sex on a regular basis, at least the ones who should be, and besides, that first squeal was not the kind of thing I would expect to hear when there is news of other people having sex. Only when *I'm* having sex. Again, I digress. I wondered if someone were buying a house, or a car or going on a trip. Nah, couldn't be. They don't merit that kind of squeal either. Getting married? Closer but still . . . . I felt like I was losing ground and sat there squirming, irritated that I couldn't figure out who was talking to my wife and what they were talking about that was so truly wonderful.

Girlish banter went back and forth for going on 30 minutes. I gave up listening intently after 4.736 seconds and went back to surfing the web, listening with half an ear at my wife's half of the conversation. An intermittent squeal would issue forth from time to time, twanging my already irritated nerves.

I perked up right away when I heard her say, "Goodbye." She squealed again as if she thought she needed to get more of my attention. This time, it hurt my ears. I suspect she just had some leftover squealing that had to wait until she was off the phone. This squeal was even more unnatural because she was trying to talk to me as she squealed. I waited for that long, painful ordeal to be over. A century went by in those few moments. I sprouted the first few gray hairs of my life. (They still haven't gone away.) My hearing ability declined by 25 decibels. My mind began to shiver and quake in it's bunker. Brain cells began to retreat by the millions. The spectre of a mental institution began to loom before me in a hazy vision of a future living amongst white-suited nurses and drooling, dopey-eyed cell mates.

(Hey, I had to suffer, you have to suffer!)

I told my dearly beloved to take a deep breath and try again. She did. FINALLY, I get the picture. "D. and J. have decided to try to have a baby!" (J. is my cousin and D. is her husband.)

"Oh, really?" I replied.

"Yes, isn't it GREAT?!!" She was getting close to squealing again. She took some more deep breaths while I coached her. I was nearly qualified to start teaching LaMaze classes by now.

"Wow!. That's cool." I turned to surf the web some more. A moment later, I was peeling myself off the wall again. This time, I had a bloody lip and a black eye.

"What the hell did you do THAT for?"

"Aren't you excited for them?" She glared at me.

"Of course I am, my dear. I just don't think I can get in a squeal like you did. Besides, you've kinda cornered the market on squeals for the day. Or the year."

This time, I was able to successfully duck. How is it that a man can take a perfectly happy wife and turn her into a raging troll in a microsecond? I've done it many times but damned if I could actually explain how it works to another man, assuming said man would WANT to do it. Somehow, it just happens on occasion and no clue as to how.

I grabbed my wife's flailing arms. "Honey, don't be mad. I'm happy for them. I look forward to having another little nephew or niece in my life. Best of all, they live close enough for us to spoil the crap outta the little tyke and give it back to terrorize his or her parents!"

"You're an ass," she said and tore herself away from my grasp.

"Yes, honey. That's why you married me," I said with the usual laugh. The joke usually made her smile. Not this time, however. Bummer. She must be really pissed.

After a couple of weeks, she finally cooled off. Things were good again. J. came and visited us one day. She hadn't gotten knocked up yet but she said they were trying. I offered to loan her my, "Loose Sorority Babes on Campus," video in case they needed suggestions. She declined. Strange. I would have thought that would be high on her list of educational material on how to make babies. Oh, well. Of course, my wife and I were jazzed to chat with her about the whole thing. She was excited. My wife was excited. I was excited. I assumed D. was excited, though he wasn't there that day. Excitement abounding everywhere. I swear, I could hear the harps and see the winged cherubs in the background.

At least the squealing was over. For the moment.

--Wag--

Life's beginnings

2005-12-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

"I need a favor from you." J. was confident, and rightly so, that I'd do anything for her. She's my beloved cousin, after all.

"What d'ya need, doll?" I asked her.

"Well, you remember that we didn't do the video of R's birth."

"Yup."

"I was wondering, could you do a write up of it? You know. The actual events. Just write what happened."

"Hmmmm." I was already thinking, How could I make that work? I loved the idea the instant she brought it up.

"Well, you know," I said, "I wrote a little about it on my blog."

"Yeah, but I was hoping for more of a play by play. I was really out of it and for all intents and purposes, I wasn't even really there."

"I do remember that. Of course, I'd love to do it. I'm flattered you would ask."

"That's right. I couldn't think of anyone better to do this project."

"Now I'm complimented, too!" I doubt I'll be able to get through the door and down the hallway to go to bed tonight! "I'll get started on and keep you posted, J. This should be a really cool project!"

We hung up and I reflected back.

I turned to my wife. "That was J. She wants me to write about the birth. All the gory details."

My wife says, "That should be fun. Why don't you go back to the very beginning and write about all the stuff that went on during the pregnancy and even before that?"

"That's a good idea. I think I can handle that. You'll have to help me fill in the details. J and D should put details into it too. It would be a thrill and a half." I continued, "I should start at the birth, however, and do the rest of the prelude story as flashbacks. That would be really cool."

"Yeah!" My wife gets excited rather easily when there's a great project in the works. Sometimes, I think she doesn't consider the amount of work that has to go into such a project. 'Specially when someone else is doing the work. I, on the other hand, focus ONLY on the amount of work which is why I never get anything done! But this. This is a project of worth. Of value. Of fun, even, despite the work.

I can hardly wait to get started.

It only takes me three hours to get it rolling. I can hardly wait to finish this one. The above will be the first section or chapter or introduction to this story. I know how it ends. I can't wait to tell it to you!

--Wag--

Hayabusa

2005-11-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Go check out this picture:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051123/sc_nm/space_japan_dc

(It's the picture of the Itokawa asteroid taken from the Japanese Hayabusa space probe.

My opinion: It's fake.

I can't tell you why I think so but the photo gives me the impression of being "contrived."

--Wag--

Freedom and Responsibility

2005-11-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I've had this essay simmering in my mind for quite a while now.

I'm not sure why but more and more frequently, it seems that people are overly concerned with what they can get from the next guy. Money, power, etc. Mostly money, however. The lottery makes tons of money, people will file lawsuits at the drop of a hat knowing it's very likely that the defendant will simply pay up rather than spend tons of money to defend himself and his property. Lawsuits of that nature don't get defended on principle nearly often enough. Judges don't throw frivolous suits out of court when they should because people have a god-given right to sue, dammit.

It's nauseating. It's sad to see a perfectly good human being waste his precious life and his time trying to get a big windfall in court. Even more sad is the human devastation which comes in the wake of such a suit. Don't get me wrong, if a person has been legitimately damaged by the action of another, the courts are well-suited to keeping us from duelling over the issue the next morning with guns or swords and lots of bloody mess to clean up afterward. There's a thought, though. Maybe if we did so, people would think a lot more seriously about whether or not their issue was all that serious! Something to consider, eh?!

What it all boils down to is this: With great freedom comes great responsibility. Such a very simplistic phrase, fraught with depth and great meaning and well worth any honest treatise.

With that, you see the purpose of this essay. Would that my words could more easily convey my thoughts. Starting with the idea that great freedom brings great responsibility, let's start with my experiences as a MOrmon, growing up in an environment wherein we were told what to think and when. Our responsibility for our thoughts was supplanted quite effectively. The result, of course, was that we could do only whatever we were told to do or not do it. That was the extent of our responsibility. Either do it or don't and if you don't, you're punished for it. Rewards were to come in a future existence.

Of course, we didn't have any real freedom as a result. We only had the choice of A or B. A was to be "good." B was to be "bad." End of story. My father used to tell me, "Yes, you have a choice. You can choose to go to church or you can choose to stay home and clean the house, the yard, the cars, the dogs and then if the rest of the family isn't home yet, you can start all over again." Some choice, eh? Of course, responsibility was limited to getting a whupping if you chose to stay home and sit around reading a favorite stack of comic books instead. Once we learned to fake sick from time to time, we could avoid both at will.

Needless to say, this particular lazy bastard went to church and suffered, probably more, actually.

Look at people who do not attemp to provide for their own retirement. What do you do with such a person? Do you judge them as having been one who "should have known" and should have started working on their retirement at age 21 so they would be financially ready when age 67 1/2 rolled around? I don't know the answer to that question. What I DO know is that if they don't take responsibility for themselves, government steps in with social security to pay the bills. So why should we care? The government will take care of everything! Or so it is said.

In short, the guy doesn't have to be responsible for himself. And guess what? He loses a small amount of freedom. Could he have done better than the government in providing for his retirement? Without a doubt. His level of freedom is reduced by the amount of financial freedom he loses by relying solely on the government to provide. In other words, by giving his responsibility over to the government social security program.

Remember, if you give up responsibility, you give up freedom. Every time you allow the government, religion, your spouse, your parents or teachers to take over responsibility for your existence, you give up some degree of your personal freedom. Ever hear of the guy who's 45 years old and lives at home? Do you think he has freedom for any of the time during which his parents are paying his bills for him? Freedom is lost as responsibility is abdicated and shrivels from disuse. Those who do not willingly take responsibility for their actions amd themselves are a curse to society.

I think this may be one of the reasons gun owners are upset about gun control laws. It's a clear-cut case of the government telling people, "You're not competent enough to take care of the responsibilities of this device so we're going to disallow you this freedom and this responsibility."

Same thing with drug usage. Alcohol consumption. Property rights. Etc. etc. Any time the government tells you you can or cannot do something innocuous, it's a denail of freedom, pure and simple. It's as if government would prefer to take away your freedoms than hold you appropriately responsible for your actions. I wonder why that is.

Always remember, it is not possible to give up responsibility for yourself and retain your freedom. Likewise, if you wish to have great freedom, you must accept great responsibility. Remember that concept when you go to the polls and elect officials who wish to limit your freedoms and your responsibilities. Can you handle the responsibility of putting a roof over your head without the government stepping in with a minimum wage requirement? Or do you believe it's more important to have a job guarantee based on your high-school diploma because you were too lackadaisical about your education and decided to party instead?

Every time you allow someone to make a decision for you, you give up your freedom and responsibility for the action. Those who take your freedom in such a fashion are the most likely to claim that you have the most freedom. Beware this delusion. If you abdicate your responsibility and hand it to another, you run the risk of finding yourself incabable of exercising any particular freedom in your future if for no other reason than simply because you're completely incompetent. Those who allow such things to occur do not understand the connection between freedom and responsibility. Those who would perpetuate the loss of freedoms or responsibilities also may not understand the connection. Think carefully any time you say, "I'll take care of that for you," to another person. You may do them more harm than good.

A valuable note: If you use your freedom irresponsibly, you will lose it. Think about it. If you commit a crime and end up in jail, your freedom is gone. If you fail to go to school, you may find yourself stuck in a desk job and wondering, at age 40, what the hell happened? Wondering why you have no financial freedom and are living from paycheck to paycheck. How depressing. Once lost, your freedoms become difficult to regain. Look forward with clear eyes and protect your future freedoms with your present responsibility.

If you give up your responsibility and freedom willingly, it is a slap in the face to those who gave you your freedom. Think of the veterans who fought for your freedoms. Think of the immigrants who battled their way through obstacles and hardships to get their butts to this country, because it was free, to give their children, your ancestors, the freedom to build a life better than that which was left behind in the old countries.

Those who take responsibility for their actions are the purveyors of freedom for all. Those who seek to blame others for their ills are, in some fashion or another, slaves in their own minds, having given up their freedoms and responsibilities.

Often people seek to get monetary compensation for natural calamities. These people are not free either, though they seem to believe they are. They are slaves to their own "handout" mentality. Such illicitly-gotten money will soon be gone simply because the value of a handout cannot be perceived because of it's ill-gotten nature. People laud the paychecks of sports figures. Baseball, Basketball, Football, etc. etc. Jo DiMaggio once said, "There are no rich men's sons in baseball." Now why do you think that is? Simple: They have no stomach for the effort required to be in baseball. I suspect that also answers the question of why so many of the best baseballers are immigrants from third-world countries.

"Life responds to deserve, not to need." --Jim Rohn. Those who receive without deserving to will soon lose that which they received. The freedom to deserve things carries with it the responsibility to act with care for that which was received. Fortunately, such deserving also carries with it an equivalent sense of responsibility for that which was received. The guy who makes his own chit will take good care of it. Ever give your kid a toy for Christmas and find out it's destroyed an hour or two later and forgotten in a pile of wreckage? How dispappointing is that? Do you have any doubt that if continued, that kind of behavior will continue throughout the child's life? Is there some damage that will occur to the child if they pay for their own car as opposed to you buying it for him?

All too often, people in a free society are deluded into believing that freedom and entitlement are the same thing. This mindset causes a fast erosion of freedoms. There is nothing in the law of nature or of this country which says that healthcare should be given to every person. Every person should be able to work for it, sure. There is no law that says that every person in this country should have a higher education. Only that they should be able to work for it. Does that sound harsh? Again, what's to stop a person from getting an education necessary to command the kind of job which comes with a health benefit? Only his lack of a sense of responsibility.

The American populace in their own free society, has a delusion that Freedom and Entitlement both mean the same thing. They do not. In order for freedom to work, entitlement has to be eliminated. Once again, life responds to deserve, not need. And certainly not to a vaporous concept such as entitlement.

I suppose it could be said, the more responsibility which is accepted by a person, the more free that person will be.

--Wag--

Turning a new leaf

2005-10-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

Exactly 9 days ago, an extraordinary event occurred in my life. One which will NEVER happen again.

I turned 40.

You may think to yourself, “Uh, oh. He’s going to talk about the tragedy of it all. The black balloons are coming out!” Well, YOU may not say it but I hear people say it all the time. Rest assured, it’s no tragedy to turn 40.

At first glance, given the assumption that people generally expect to live to about 72 years old, my life could be seen as being more than half over. But I don’t look at it that way. I look at it as just being on the cusp, the very beginning of some wonderful things.

For starters, I didn’t even begin to be more than marginally productive in my life until about the age of 20. After that, I spent the next 10 or 12 years LEARNING how to live life. That brought me to about 32 years old. It was only then I realized I was really starting to get a grip on what life is all about. It was only then I began to be a productive member of society.

And the point?

I feel that now is the first time in my life I might know what I’m doing. The first time I feel, without reservation, that if I put my hand to a project or a task I can accomplish it.

But what about turning 40? Well, my friends, I haven’t turned 40. I’ve turned 8. For the last 8 years, I’ve been preparing for this moment in my life where I can look ahead and see I have 4 more “eights” of years ahead of me. If my personal and professional growth continues as it has in the past “eight” of years, having four more of those “eights” will bring about an extraordinary life for me.

Well, then, what brought about so much change during the past eight years?

I discovered a mentor. This is a man who holds me responsible for myself and my commitments. Many have been the times when I’ve made statements of marvelous plans for my future and my friends have not held me responsible for those plans and neither did I. My newfound mentor has begun to hold me responsible for not only reaching my goals but also for setting worthwhile objectives in the first place. Granted, these are all things which I should have been doing on my own all along, however, I simply did not know how. He taught me how, as well.

By the same token, my mentor sent me to a leadership training seminar at the very beginning of my eight-year emergence from my darkened cocoon. It opened the door to fantastic possibilities and I immediately began to capitalize on those ideas and to learn many more things about human nature, the nature of true leadership and the abilities I have within myself.

But it was more than mere leadership. It was a complete study of how human beings interact and how I interact with others. The value of such lessons can never be understated.

The most key component of my personal growth for the past eight years has been my focused, intentional study of people and relationships between people. I’ve done very well in this particular project of personal development. But as many things as I’ve learned, I’ve also come to realize it’s going to be a lifelong pursuit. I doubt I’ll ever know ALL of the things I could know but I do believe the improvement is ongoing and without end. I expect that if I get the 32 more years I’m hoping to get, I’ll have learned quite a lot.

When I completed the leadership training program, I asked myself, “What’s next?” The answer, of course, was, “Put this all into practice.”

I’m a recluse. A hermit. A loner. More than anything else, I’d rather be at home, sprawled out in ten directions with a book planted firmly on my chest. But that isn’t the kind of thing which builds skill in working with people.

I decided to go to college again. I hadn’t finished much more than three semesters of school and my decision was intended to kill two birds with one stone. One, I’d get a little closer to a degree. Two, and much more importantly, I’d have ample opportunity to relate to other people in an environment which fosters teamwork and interpersonal relationships. Indeed, one of the first classes I took was focused entirely on developing interpersonal relationship and communications skills.

It dovetailed perfectly with the things I had learned in my leadership training class and I did exceptionally well. One of the key things I learned is that where you sit in the classroom has a lot to do with how you focus yourself in the class. Although, I didn’t do a comprehensive study of it, I found that sitting in the exact center of the classroom was ideal for that class. It put me in the middle of every conversation and dialogue and directly in the center of the instructor’s gaze.

It scared me to death! Y’see, I was used to sitting in the very back of the class so nobody would know I was there. The teacher couldn’t see me and I could learn and study and test and never let anyone else be the wiser. Sitting in the middle of a communications skills class was an adventure!

On the other hand, when I took Economics, I sat in the front right corner of the class, and discovered that it gave me my sole option about whether or not to participate in class discussions. If I raised my hand, the teacher would notice. If I sat silently, the teacher would direct her attention to the center of the class and I could pay attention and hear everything which went on in the room. For such a subject matter, it was perfect because I could control the direction of my instruction.

Those are merely a couple of minor observations about the several classes I took. The most important thing I learned, however, was this: being in a social situation such as a classroom presents golden opportunities for personal growth and learning. We learn a lot from books, to be sure, but we learn the most when we are in the middle of a group of people, listening to them, testing ideas with them and discussing our ideas and thoughts with them.

It’s no wonder I’ve learned so much in the last eight years. During this precious period of my life, I’ve spent more time in the company of other people than I ever did in the prior 32 years. No kidding; that’s how much of a hermit I was!

So, as a 40-year old man, I’m poised on the boundary of wonderful things. I have plans, goals and visions which extend far beyond any which have ever been in my life before. I have opportunities which I’ve never encountered before. My confidence is greater than ever before. I’ve searched and found the vision of a life ahead which can be readily accomplished and which will be a reward unto itself.

Indeed, I’m thoroughly excited about my next 4 “eights” of years.

Forty? Hah! It’s a mere beginning!

--Wag--

Radio interview

2005-10-18T13:17:00.000-06:00

I did a radio interview this past Sunday. First time in my life I've ever done a real media "event." Kinda cool, actually.

The link to the media is here: Interview

I thought it went better than expected. For some reason, I had a fear that the interview might turn a little antagonistic but both the host and myself kept our cool in spite of our differences of opinion.

Rather enjoyable experience.

--Wag--

". . . Not that there's anything wrong with that."

2005-09-26T14:00:00.000-06:00

As you know, I'm an atheist and don't believe in God. However, that doesn't mean I'm entirely opposed to religion, though I don't believe in religion either. If someone wants to believe in a supreme being, more power to them. However, sometimes, people take it to the realm of asinie stupidity, too. I know why: they are being told what to believe from the pulpit and they don't consider for themselves whether or not what they are told has merit in the real world.

I'm not gay but I have gay friends, "not that there's anything wrong with that." (New cliche in the straight world, friends.) I think we're trying not to offend gays for some reason. Maybe they've had enough offense. I'm sure they have, frankly. Some of my gay friends have horrendous stories of their mistreatment at the hands of really macho men who, in some cases, happen to be religious, as well.

That said, I don't oppose the "gay movement" but I don't support it, either except from a viewpoint of treating human beings like, well, like human beings. I'm pretty neutral on the actual subject of "gayness" frankly.

This morning, a very good Christian friend sent me some letters to the editor. Here are some of my thoughts on those letters. The letters are prefaced with "LTE" and my comments are prefaced by "--Wag--".

--Wag--

---------------Begin-----------------

> Three great Letters to the Editor

LTE The American cesspool

As far as I am concerned, there is no mystery at all why the American Civil Liberties Union is trying to get the Ten Commandments removed from all public places. They don't want future generations growing up to have any idea of God's moral code.

The pagan liberals in our society are unwilling to alter their behavior for the sake of anyone, including God and his truth. Their demand for the "freedom" to do anything one darn well pleases regardless of whether it is right or wrong has multiplied the pain in our society so greatly.

--Wag-- Clearly, "right" and "wrong" have not been defined to everyone's satisfaction. That's why we have the wars we do. Also, Pagans are a "to each his own" and "harm no other" kind of people, regardless of the bad press they've received from various religions over the past few millenia. To lump them with liberals does them a disservice and gives liberals more credit than they deserve! (Yes, I still love my liberal friends, too!)

LTE I used to wonder how a society could have become so bad at the time of Sodom and Gomorrah that homosexual bands would go through the streets demanding that strangers in town be released to them for the purpose of homosexual rape. I can see now how a society could decline into that kind of cesspool. I think it's possible that it could happen again in our world.

Marilyn Brenden

--Wag-- Sodom and Gomorrah. Personally, I don't believe the story as being factual, but supposing it were, it was 4,000 years ago or thereabouts, right? Since then, no other cities have been similarly condemned. Also, I'm not seeing a pattern here which would lead me to believe that any such city on earth is in jeopardy of having "homosexual bands" roving the streets demanding sex from anyone. And don't use the gay pride parades as an example of said implied "roving." Those parades are of gays wanting sexual expression with each other, not everyone else.

LTE Agree ... or else!

The homosexual agenda is not equal rights - it's special rights, pure and simple. There is nothing equal to it. Equality allows equal members to disagree. Dictatorship says some people are more special than others.

--Wag-- Affirmative Action is "special rights." The only special rights gays have had over the years is their rights to be tread upon and treated as less than human. In other words, they've had less rights than anyone else for a very long time now.

Anyone who believes that gays are NOT human, raise their hand. Anyone who believes that Jesus' love does not extend to gays, raise your hand. Anyone who believes Buddha or Allah hates gays and thinks of them as nothing more than animals, raise your hand. Get the idea? God isn't hating gays, insofar as I can tell. But certain other people are.

LTE For instance, my relationship with my husband allows me to disagree with him, and him me. I can reject certain of his beliefs, and he won't divorce me for it.

Ask Rolf Szabo how equal he feels to homosexuals now after getting fired from Kodak just because he refused to agree.

The homosexual agenda says, "Agree with our views or else."

Dorothy McGrath

--Wag-- This is the epitome of hypocrisy. I'm amazed that any Christian could even write such a thing and thereby admit that they are blinded by their own absurdity. For as long as I can remember, Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. have all said, "Believe as we do, or else you're going to burn in hell." It's tantamount to saying, "If you don't believe as we do, god is going to torture you for the rest of forever." I think I can rest my case with Ms. McGrath.

LTE Don't support them

I think the article Joe Kovacs wrote about companies supporting immoral practices was overdue. (I realize you have been reporting on the subject for years.)

I think the best way to fight these policies is to not buy products from companies that support immorality, to not work directly as an employee of such a company, and to invest in companies that only support traditional marriage by their policies.

Brian Wood

--Wag-- Go ahead!!! My prices will go down and though unemployment will go up for a while, it will decrease when self-righteous people have to go to work for evil companies in order to feed and shelter their families.

--Wag-- An anecdote you may appreciate: A friend of mine went to her employer to ask if they had domestic partner benefits, ie., health insurance coverage for her boyfriend. The company said, "Yes, but only if the couple is same-sex." How's that for "reverse discrimination?"

Stories of a former Mormon missionary

2005-09-24T12:48:00.000-06:00

I posted this on another forum a couple of days ago and it got a good response. Thought y'all might like to read it here.

--Wag--

----------------------------------

I wasn't going to respond to this thread but something M. said suggests that this story might be appropriate here.

My companion and I (I had been on my mission about three months) were teaching a referral. The man was referred by his Mormon wife. She had been inactive for many years but showed up at church one day, at the wrong ward and asked to have the missionaries come and teach her disabled husband. She was white, he was black.

So, we show up a few days later and she invites us in. She was on her way to work and left with a smile and a wave. We sat down with Bob. Yup, that was his name. The house reeked. It was filthy dirty from top to bottom, end to end. Very sad. Bob was, in fact, disabled. We sat there and tried to have a conversation with him. It was impossible, really, but we were able to make him smile a couple of times.

What was his problem, you ask? Bob was an alcoholic. The most extreme case I've ever even heard of, much less seen and I hope to never see it again. I suspect his wife wanted him to get off the booze and figured the Mormon Boys would be especially able to make it happen.

Bob was so badly incapacitated by his alcoholism he couldn't move from his bed. Ever. He had a walker by the bed but he couldn't even use that. Many was the time, we had to sit there and watch Bob sit on the edge of his bed and relieve himself into a bed pan. Frequently, he would miss. He was embarrassed just as much as we were. Bob was never NOT drunk. And I mean, slobbering on himself drunk. 24/7. I kid you not. Seemed to have a good heart but he was difficult to understand for the most part.

My companion, however, was a good guy. Misguided, but a good guy. He felt we could help and he insisted that we go over there every other day. I should confess, we taught a lot of "discussions" to Bob in order to make the mission number counters happy. He would sit there and listen but since we were virtually incapable of talking about anything else anyway, we just ran discussions through his addled brain. Just as well. We generally didn't have much else to do during the day anyway. My companion was constantly trying to figure out how to get Bob to be able to go to church with us. The bedpan was a permanent blockade to that effort, thankfully. Can you imagine him whipping it out during Sacrament Meeting?

One day as we were "teaching" Bob he seemed a little more lucid than usual. My companion, good-hearted fellow that he was, felt "inspired" to give Bob a blessing of healing. We offered but Bob wanted to pray first so we did. My companion prayed, then I prayed, then Bob prayed. Halfway through, he was crying hard and totally emotional. We started to cry with him. We all had a very powerful emotional experience which we promptly labelled "the spirit" for Bob's edification, we being the wisest of the three of us.

Then we gave him a blessing of healing. I annointed and my companion did the honors. Among other things, he pronounced him "healed."

Afterward, Bob, though still fairly sauced, said he didn't want any more booze ever again. We were internally in celebration mode. Bob told us to dump all the booze into the sink which we promptly did while he watched. Being a virgin to booze, the smell was nearly enough to get me drunk! Maybe I was just giddy over the most "spiritual" experience I had ever had in my life. Who knows. We cleaned out the fridge, the cupboards; everything. No booze was left in the house when we were done. Bob even dug out a couple of bottles from under his pillow and said there was one under the mattress he couldn't get. To his credit, there were no other bottles in the bed. We checked.

We left after a couple more hours and made sure Bob had water and juice close at hand. Food as well. He was elated. We were elated. I have little doubt that I wrote about this in my mission journal. I'll have to look when I get home.

The next day, we went over there and for cryin' out loud, Bob was sober still! His wife was there. She was in tears and thanked us and praised god. We all prayed. We started over with the discussions with Bob. His wife went to work. We stayed for a couple of hours. Turns out, Bob was a pretty cool guy and we actually carried on a great conversation with him.

For the next few days, we were at Bob's house, guaranteed, every day. Bob's health improved dramatically and he hadn't used the bed pan in a couple days, at least, not while we were there. We were looking forward to the holy grail of taking him to church. Bob committed to baptism. All was going according to plan. Couldn't have had a more picture-perfect story. He was managing to get around with his walker by himself a little bit for the first time in years. The miracle couldn't be denied. I was convinced that the Mormon church MUST have been true. It was the reason I had gone on a mission.

For several days in a row, we hadn't run into his wife. Her work schedule had changed or we were just getting there later and kept missing her. I don't recall for certain.

One day, after about 10 days, we showed up at the house and Bob was pi$$-drunk. We were astounded. What could possibly have gone wrong? It was the most depressing thing I had seen in my life. From the highest hill on the roller coaster of emotion to the very bottom of the most bottomless pit of depression. We couldn't get anything out of Bob and it was useless to talk to him. He was toasted.

Later, the next Sunday, I believe, the bishop was able to find out what had happened. His wife, for whatever reason, couldn't bear to lose control of her husband in this fashion. For some reason, we think she liked being his boss and making sure she kept him in prison in his bed, unable to move on his own. The previous evening, she had come home with two or three cheap bottles of rot gut whiskey and proceeded to not only get Bob all liquored up but got hammered herself. Then, she took away all his juice and water and food from off the bedstand and left him with nothing but a couple of bottles of booze. Since we hadn't showed up until later in the afternoon, he had had all day to do nothing but be thirsty and hungry with nothing to drink but the bottles by the bed while his wife went to work. I suspect it's a wonder he hadn't died by the time we got there.

The bishop asked us not to go back and that he would send people to do what they could for Bob. We were devastated. To this day, whenever I think of Bob, I wonder if he would have become a Mormon to the end of his days because of "us boys."

A miracle happened in that house. Not from god, I have no doubt. But a lost man found comfort in the friendship of a couple of wet-behind-the-ears Mormon kids and saw a chance at a better life. He had healed himself, I have no doubt.

He was then soundly and decisively destroyed by his evil wife. I have little doubt that Bob didn't survive long after that. His poor liver couldn't have stood the strain. But we never found out.

Do I regret my mission? In some ways, yes. Even if we had been able to get Bob completely off the booze and made him Mormon in the process, I have to believe I would be happy if he were still Mormon these 20 years later. I'd be happy that he had found a means to get his life back from the bottle that stole it from him. I'm sad now that such was not to be. He's probably the only contact we ever made which I still think about with a touch of fondness and sadness at the same time.

There were others who changed their lives, patched up their marriages, began to live more productive lives because we were there to touch them and make them feel like someone cared.

Y'know what, though? I think I've done MORE good for people now that I've gotten out of Mormonism. I've been instrumental in guiding people to the help they have needed for their various problems and in getting out of Mormonism. We all have. We just need to remember that.

Recently, I heard a quote which goes something like, "People without direction in their lives are very susceptible to cults." I think back on my mission and I fealize that is very likely true. We seldom converted or even spoke to people unless they were truly floating along without direction in the stream of life. Every one of them. I don't feel too bad about that now. At least they have SOMEthing, assuming they're still active. I've lost touch with many of them. I hope that if they are still active they are still happy.

One of the families I remember is a complex issue. The bad news is, one girl got married in the temple and had eight kids before she caught her RM husband having an affair with her best friend. THAT is a tragedy I wish I could have prevented by not baptizing her.

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done the mission. But looking back, I have to say that I'm not going to worry too much about it. It's in the past and I can't go back and live the lives for people that they could have lived. All I can do is make sure that from this point forward, I can assist others in getting over their issues, assuming they want it. I just won't be cramming it self-righteously down their throats.

--Wag--

Preachings of an atheist

2005-09-19T22:22:00.000-06:00

Okay, you Christian hypocrites, listen up: (If you're not a true hypocrite, this will prove to be merely entertaining. Enjoy!)

Start by reading Matthew Chapter 6, verses 1 through 6.

Basically, for those of you who don't care enough to look it up and read it, it says, and I paraphrase, "don't do good things to be seen of men, do it in secret." Period. End of story.

So why, oh, why do we see so many people from Christian groups spending so much time on T.V. seeking their 5 minutes of fame for all of their generosity with disaster victims? Happens every time there's a disaster. Why don't they follow the advice of Jesus and keep it to themselves and do some good?

Don't get me wrong, I believe they need to publicize the good they do but do they have to say just how wonderfully Christian they are while they're doing it? Bear in mind that every hypocritical thing that Christians do just makes them all that much more suspect.

Shut up, already! It's getting nauseating!

(To those of you Christians who are NOT hypocrites, this article should just be a conviction to you that you're doing the right thing already. YOU people have my respect for your decency and your integrity. Carry on and keep doing the good for which you are NOT getting credit. Except for the promise in Matt 6:1-6, of course! ;-) )

What brought about this diatribe, you ask? I got this next piece in an e-mail from a friend this morning. My friend is a great guy and I appreciate him sending me these things. You decide if I'm over reacting:

This morning's e-mail in its entirety ----------------

This was written by a man who is a survivor of the hurricane. A little different twist on what we have been hearing in the media.

To my friends and family:

What I have seen since Katrina:

The poor and the wealthy hurt by the storm.

Black, White, Hispanic, Oriental and Indian all hurt by the storm.

Christian people giving, giving, giving.

Churches going all out to minister in Jesus' name.

Neighbors going door to door helping one another.

Thugs and hoodlums going door to door looking for someone vunerable.

Ice and water being fought over as police tried to keep the peace.

People coming up from New Orleans taking over empty houses because shelters are full.

Out of town volunteers coming with food and staying for now a week still serving it.

The Churches all over this part of the country doing what people do in a crisis.

FEMA doing a wonderful job in getting help to us.

The Red Cross doing a great job in the shelters.

The Salvation Army doing a great job in the community.

Four hundred crewmen from everywhere bring back the power to our homes, churches and businesses.

Lines at service stations a block to a mile long.

National Guardsman patroling the streets of McComb along with Kentucky policemen protecting us from the hoodlums and thugs of McComb, Pike County and New Orleans (the most dangerous city in the world before Katrina.)

Drug dealers working outside shelters.

Doctors, nurses and other hospital personnel working tirelessly, even sleepingin the hospital to do the job God called them to do.

WHAT I HAVE NOT SEEN

The ACLU setting up a feeding line.

People for the American Way helping in the shelters.

The NAACP doing any work whatsover.

The American Atheist organization serving meals in the shelters.

Jesse Jackson directing traffic at the gas stations.

I could go on but you get my message. It's the people with love and compassion who do the work.

The gripers in Congress should come on down and get in line to pass the water and the ice. Are you listening Hillary, Chuck, Teddy and all the sorry loafers we call Senators and Congressmen? They don't have a clue as to what this life is all about here on the Gulf Coast.

Boy I feel better now.

end of e-mail ---------

Now, read this next bit. From an atheist friend of mine, no less. (Strangely, I never knew he was an atheist until this very exchange.) Background: he and one of his friends rounded up all their friends and collected a bunch of contributions of goods and money. They they loaded it into their their R.V. and drove down toward New Orleans to donate it to people who need it. This story is their report back to those of us who contributed. It deserves to be told everywhere which is why I put it up here for starters.

(Identifying comments have been removed, obvious typos fixed.)

Trip log from C.

Where do I even begin... There are so many little stories from the trip, trying to formulate them into semi-interesting reading is proving difficult. I'll start with some snippets.

We set out to meet T. of the World Youth Federation in Baton Rouge, LA.

You cannot stuff as much into a 31' RV as you can a 25' travel trailer, no matter how hard you try. It IS possible to load an RV with so much weight the rear bumper drags the ground. We had so much stuff to take, we had to leave stuff behind!

Driving 1,900 miles with barely an hour's sleep is never a good idea! When you start "seeing things" in the shadows, while driving through the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, it's time to stop! Speaking of Texas, the speed limit is 75mph, unless it's after dark, then it's 65mph. Just to make sure no good deed goes unpunished, I got a ticket at 1:37am for 81mph in an (after dark) 65 zone.

Aside from many long hours and miles, the drive to Baton Rouge was an easy one. We arrived noon-ish Tuesday.

New Orleans: We were not able to get into N.O. due to being under National Guard lockdown. Baton Rouge is on the outskirts and is now the base of operations for the area.

We saw huge parks filled with tent and canopy cities of law enforcment from around the country. Another park filled with the military and national guard headquarters, and landing pads for the daily missions of blackhawk helicopters. Other parks had been filled with utility workers from all over, representing power, gas, telephone and construction to get the city back on it's feet. Hundreds of thousands of people all working on rebuilding the city.

We also saw the tent cities of the now homeless. It sounds cliche' and you hear it on the news everyday, but until you sit and talk with someone, the words never sink in.

"Lost everything" or "The clothes on their backs"

How many times have you heard these things and never thought twice about it. We talked to people, families, and those with extended familes who managed to survive by loading up the family in the car and heading for safety. The storm or subsequent flooding destroyed these people's belongings. Literally the only thing they have left is the clothes on their backs. In some cases, their place of employment is gone, the banks are in shambles, and the pharmacy system is in chaos. These people have not only lost everything but can not GET anything because of the disaster. The bigger chain stores that survived are now empty unless you're looking for plastic flowers and picture frames.

We met people too proud to "take a handout" but also those moved to tears at our generosity. I could never imagine a grown man crying at receiving some old clothes I'll never wear again or over military rations that don't even taste that good. But if you have nothing, ANYTHING is something!

I listened to one man tell me how one wall of his house was found six blocks away and another wall was four blocks away in the other direction. Everything was lost and he agreed replaceable, except for some of his tools that had been handed down for three generations. "Those are irreplaceable"

The System:

The Good: I witnessed convoys of mobile (pre-fabricated) housing sometimes dozens in a row, rolling down highways and streets in Baton Rouge. Also convoys of travel trailers all heading to one staging point. There is an area that contained thousands of temporary homes for the residents now displaced because of the hurricane. We saw some (out of perhaps hundreds) of the shelters set up to aid people now homeless.

We saw FEMA, Red Cross, Salvation Army, E.P.A. (Environmental Protection Agency) National Guard, military, police from around the nation, insurance agencies, all the major utility companies and way too many other organizations to list. Suffice it to say: The gang's all there.

The Bad: I won't name organizations, but I will share some of their shortcomings: this info does not come from the media, or heresay, but things I saw for myself, or was told directly from the people who experienced it.

If you do not register and occupy certain shelters, you may not recieve goods, services or handouts of any kind from that organization. Many of the shelters do not have a "come and go" policy, so once inside, you may not leave.

We spoke to a woman who has two children and tried to get a few clothing items for her kids. Because she was not staying at the shelter, they physically removed the clothing from her hand.

Another organization was kind enough to dump a huge load of clothing into a parking lot. Unfortunately it rained and the clothes became muddy, dirty and moldy. I will post pictures of a bulldozer pushing the mound of clothes to the curb along with the rubble of buildings, as the clothes are now unuseable.

Organizations and shelters only help a small segment of the population. There are still hundreds of thousands who cannot reach the shelters or refuse to live in them.

I can hardly blame them, with the muggings, rapes, murders and molestations it hardly sounds appealing to stay confined with hundreds of people in a small space. This is not the case for every shelter, but the stories I've heard of some . . . . How do you choose where it's safe, rovided you have the means to get there?

There are no major organizations offering aid to the people living in tent cities, at camp grounds, hotels, or are in parking lots.

I am speaking of the large, well-known organizations that everybody donates money or goods to.

Our problem:

We had an RV stuffed to the seams with food, clothing, books & toys, toiletries etc. But alot of it was unsorted and stuffed in boxes and plastic bags. After seeing the horrors of the so called "disaster relief organizations" delivering our donations to them was NOT an option. We wanted to make sure our goods did some good. That they'd go to the people that needed them. That we could reach those overlooked.

The bigger problem was we had not the time or space to unload, sort and hand deliver everything we had. Wednesday we went to one place that helps the elderly and delivered some military rations (food) and water. We went to a tent city, and later returned with some food and clothes. We also went to a hotel that had a banquet room set up for people to come in and get what they needed.

We also took things to different locations. (ie. if one place had too many men's clothes, we'd take it to a place that had none. Or if there were no infants at one location, yet they had clothing, we'd deliver it to places with kids.)

Thursday morning we had hardly touched the RV packed with stuff. As we sat at breakfast T. (from the World Youth Federation) got a phone call.

Pascagoula, Mississippi was severly hit by the hurricane. Yet they have had no outside assitance whatsoever. "LET'S GO!"

It took about two and a half hours to drive there and along the way we witnessed the hurricane's devastation. Not the flooding like New Orleans had received, but the damage caused by gale force winds. Metal billboards and street signs twisted like pretzels, buildings demolished, a Lowes missing a front and a Home Depot without a roof. A yacht sitting in a tree hundreds of yards from water. Trees snapped like pretzels and those that had fallen on homes and cars. On and on for miles and miles.

We were beaming at the thought of being "first in" to offer assitance. No Red Cross, No FEMA. US! On the way we were passed by Airforce One. Bush was surveying the area, and was expected to be on the ground when we got there. (Never saw him though) OK, so Bush beat us there... but only 'cause he had a plane.

Arriving into town we hit heavy traffic and non-working traffic lights.

The city of Pascagoula, Miss. was so excited about "the folks from California, with an RV filled with stuff" we were bringing they gave us A LIGHTS AND SIRENS ESCORT!

If there were ever any question of "why" in my mind, this ended all doubt. These people were so appreciative of our efforts, they parted the sea of traffic, and ran us through intersections so we could get there and deliver our donations!!!

This was a perfect win/win for us and Pascagoula. We unloaded the RV at the fire/EMS station. In talking to the crew, all but one had lost everything and there were several not there at the time that had nothing left as well.

Many of them were now living at the station. They were going to take just what they needed, then load up the ambulances and go into the area's hardest hit and deliver food, water and clothing to those who needed them.

We saw the fire chief shed a tear at our generosity and the smiles on the young kids faces as we gave them toys to play with. We have life long friends at the Acadian EMS station.

In following with the trend and hearing how we've been taking things to those in need, they loaded us up with pallets of MRE's (rations) and water. They had enough and wanted us to take them where needed.

I was really getting tired of loading and unloading the RV but it's for the cause.

We left Baton Rouge Friday morning for the long trek back and got home around 9pm last night. Exhausted!

Would I go back? Yes. There are still so many people who need help, and so many things that need to be done, I feel like I've abandoned them.

Who's going to fix old man so-n-so's holes in the floor of the trailer someone gave him to live in? Who's going to get the medication for the elderly woman? Who's going to help the single mother with two kids get to family living in another state?

For anyone who wonders "What good can I do" or "Why make all the effort" read these stories carefully. Know that my words can in no way explain the gratitude given, or the elation of helping. Know that there were many other stories I haven't written yet.

Ride'on,

Signed,

C. (made a difference)

----------------------------

Comment from M:

Someone told him (C.) that he was earning his wings. We concluded we had just gotten started on filing down his horns!!!

It was an amazing trip and I wish we could have stayed longer as there is so much more "we" could have done. Just a couple of people who want to help out.

I know C. won't say it but I will.

If you are still looking to donate PLEASE look at the organization carefully and realize when that when that crimson colored addition sign says help now, they mean you donate now and they will help weeks from now when they get their act together and are done "sorting".

It is amazing and sad how many people are still in need and overlooked by many of these organizations. We have heard in a disaster who is there to help; they have a lot of short comings. I am amazed they have gone this long. People across the nation are hearing about how they are letting the people down time and time again.

I am glad we went. I wish we could have stayed longer. It is an awesome feeling to know that you made a difference.

Another couple of notes: C. pulls off the redneck look really WELL (it is scary). Somewhere in AZ someone thinks i am C.'s MOM (cuz he told them that). I can relate a Christmas song to almost anything. We have an official name for our disaster relief team.

pictures and more to follow.

------------------------------

And now, a follow-up that I wrote back to C. and the group:

Holy smoke, you guys. Me too. I'm also proud beyond pride's ultimate size to be able to say I know who you are.

When was the last time you saw a 6'4" 260lb man brought to tears in his office in the middle of the day? I had to close my office door just to make sure I didn't spoil my image. You moved me to tears, C.! I consider it an honor that you were able to make that trip and take a part of us with you. I can't remember the last time I was touched so deeply.

If you make another trip, let me know. I don't think I have any more clothing or anything to send but as they say, Cash is King. We'll put something together for you somehow.

Thanks, most of all, for the tip on the big "charitable" organizations and their dismal failure to do any good whatsoever. I read an article earlier today suggesting that many many many good Christian churches were helping and doing so much good for the people in the devastated areas. The guy complained that the atheists and various others weren't doing diddly-squat.

I hope that guy doesn't benefit from this atheist's contribution or those of his atheist friends, whoever they may be. Well, not really, but I'm blown away by the blatant manipulative demeanor of that kind of utter misguided arrogance. Give him some food and tell him to go and fu . . . . Well, better not.

What's good is good and will care for itself. Prayers don't help, wishful thinking doesn't help, radio ads don't help; nothing helps but the people doing what YOU did. What WE did as a club.

Damm. More tears. Damm you C.! for being so generous and eloquent and bringing me into this with you.

It's tough to say but I'll say it anyway, I love ya, you bastard!

--Wag--

C.'s comments back to me:

Wag...

It's very humbling to bring a grown man to tears. Whether it's from recanting of stories, or by merely handing him a pair of Nike's. I have always helped people, but never anything near this magnitude. It's one thing to help someone with some loose change and get a thanks, another to give a man who has nothing something, and get a tear filled hug.

In all honesty I didn't do much. Gathered up some stuff we (a collective "we") no longer needed, loaded it up and drove back East. It required very little sacrifice or energy on my part. Yet to some people it meant the world, it meant life.

Anyway, I am also an atheist but kindly returned the "god bless you's" with Thank you's. I will not scoff at the belief's of others, no matter my personal beliefs. One night I was talking to The Mrs., telling her of the day's events and happened to say "She said god bless you, er some shit"... Now M. overheard this, and she's Catholic. So the rest of the trip we recited "God bless you... er some shit" and couldn't help but chuckle whenever someone else "blessed" me.

Thank you for the kind words and allowing me to help others. I couldn't have done it with out the charity of you and everyone else who helped the cause. I felt partly ashamed at being able to receive the gratitude for something I only played part in. Know that I made mention of the club that backed me to make it possible, and that everyone wished I would extend the thank you's to everyone involved. Yet I could never do the sentiment justice.

Thank you.

and quit yer blabberin ya big cry baby!!! heh heh To quote an old Irish saying... "A tear is a smile we've all lost"... er some shit like that.

C.

And my reply back to him.

For some reason, people think atheists are evil. So be it. The funny thing is, Christians have a tendency to be the more hypocritical of all people if only because they don't care to read Matthew 6:1-6 which says, in a nutshell, "if you do charity, don't do it for the view of men." Yeah, I was raised in a cult religion and used to know this shit inside out and backwards.

Enough of that, however. I was going to send you a big huge diatribe from someone claiming that he didn't see any atheists helping out down there but why waste the time? The atheists are simply the only ones not advertising their presence and trying to accrue to themselves a whole bunch of recognition for their "wonderfulness."

Now I'm laughing myself to tears! :D

In any case, I'm glad I could help. If you get a wild hair to go back with another load, hit me up for some gas money at least. I'd be more than happy to help. I think I have a couple more boxes of MRE's somewhere that I'll part with.

You're a credit to the human race. I suppose I have to start believing in humanity again instead of being so cynical about everyone! heheheh.

Cheers!

--Wag--

Hugo "Hooga Booga" Chavez

2005-09-17T12:39:00.000-06:00

Is this guy for real? Whatta loon.

Of course, on the off-beat chance that the U.S. were ever to invade Venezuela, I think it would be enough to push even ME over the edge of being extremely pissed off at our government's own lunacy.

I'm sure Hugo "Hooga Booga" Chavez has reason to believe such wild accusations are going to win him favor with his own citizens. Strike fear of America into their hearts and the next thing you know, they all love him again as being their great protector against the U.S. At the very least, he'll succeed in diverting attention from his own horrible mis-management of his own country.

With any luck, his own "masses" will have the brains to understand this but it's possible that if they are not connected well enough, they're going to be swayed like dummies on a string. Question is, are they informed enough to see it?

Bizarre.

--Wag--

Yahoo news article link: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050917/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/us_venezuela_4

Text of Yahoo! article since Yahoo! loves to take stories down after only a very short period of time. Let's preserve it here for all time! ;-)

Chavez: U.S. Plans to Invade Venezuela Sat Sep 17, 7:24 AM ET

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Friday he has documentary evidence that the United States plans to invade his country.

Chavez, interviewed on ABC's "Nightline," said the plan is called "Balboa" and involves aircraft carriers and planes. A transcript of the interview was made available by "Nightline."

He said U.S. soldiers recently went to Curacao, an island off Venezuela's northwest coast. He described as a "lie" the official U.S. explanation that they visited Curacao for rest and recreation.

"They were doing movements. They were doing maneuvers," Chavez said, speaking through a translator.

He added: "We are coming up with the counter-Balboa plan. That is to say if the government of the United States attempts to commit the foolhardy enterprise of attacking us, it would be embarked on a 100-year war. We are prepared."

Chavez has been attending the summit of world leaders at the United Nations in New York this week. On Thursday, he denounced the U.S.-led war in Iraq and told other leaders they should consider moving the U.N. headquarters out of the United States.

To prove U.S. intentions to invade Venezuela, Chavez offered to send "Nightline" host Ted Koppel maps and other documentation.

"What I can't tell you is how we got it, to protect the sources, how we got it through military intelligence," he said.

In the event of a U.S. invasion, Chavez said the United States can "just forget" about receiving any more oil from his country.

Copyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Copyright 2005 © Yahoo! Inc.

Who's in charge up there?

2005-09-12T16:57:00.000-06:00

I just read a fantastic article the other day, located HERE:
http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0410/feature5/index.html

Please read it before continuing with my comments below. It is HIGHLY relevant and even significant. As you read it, remember that it was written about a year ago.

Okay, you're done? Good. Brace yourself.

My comments have to do with the fact that I'm an atheist, a Recovering Mormon. And while I think there is probably some merit to the tired old idea of, "If there is an all-powerful god out there, why did he allow this disaster to happen?" that isn't where I'm going to go with this. Besides, it's a worn out, worthless argument that a lot of atheists jump on when they have an unsuspecting Christian to bash on about their beliefs. What utter, unproductive nonsense that is.

Instead, I'm going to milk a different worn-out argument which makes a little more sense, frankly. Come to think of it, I don't recall hearing it presented in quite this way so perhaps this is somewhat original.

We find that over and over again throughout history, religion has had to bow down to the power of science. The earth is not flat, it's round. The planets revolve around the sun, not the earth. Disease is caused by microorganisms, they are not punishments from a divine being. Comets are little balls of space debris, not the sword of god. Eclipses are merely the shadow of one big ball onto another, not god giving us a warning. You know. So much religion flushed down the toilet of scientific research.

And hurricanes really kick ass when they get to hustling right along. Guess what, though? Science predicted this one. Not any religious leaders. The Mormon guy is Gordon B. Hinckley. He and fourteen other top Mormon men all claim to be, "Prophets, Seers, and Revelators," their words, their definitions. And yet, Katrina ripped through New Orleans like a snow blower with fangs on serious steriods. And not one revelation from Salt Lake City to protect New Orleans Mormons or anyone else for that matter.

Of course, nobody in any other prophetic career claimed any prior knowledge either. Not the Pope, not Billy Graham, not Robert Schulyer, no fortune tellers, no voodoo witch doctors and no indian shamans talking to the bones. Nobody. (Are these guys even still alive?)

Oh, wait. There was one group which predicted everything about it except the timing. Well, they didn't say the name of the hurricane, either. And they messed up when they originally predicted a different path for the hurricane in the days before it struck. But face it: They came a lot closer than anyone else! Didn't they?! Of course they did. Re-read the above-referenced article if you're still unsure. It's nearly a year old.

Okay, if you wish to believe in a divine power of some flavor, be my guest. I don't have a problem with people believing what they will, even in the face of this kind of natural disaster. But at least think about it. What I'm alluding to above is bad enough: Religion isn't protecting people, even though they really do claim to be able to do so. What's horribly bad is when religion gets out there and claims that this hurricane and the recent Pacific Tsunami and all sorts of other things are punishments from god for the decadence of any particular locale.

Speaking of the punishments of the Judeo/Christian god, I thought that before he punishes the evil guys he sends a prophet to warn them first and give 'em a chance to repent. Or move outta town. You know, Jonah was sent to Nineveh to threaten those people and get them to follow god, otherwise, they would be destroyed. Jonah even got pissed off when god spared them because SURPRISE! They all repented. Then god repented, I guess. Whoa.

And didn't two guys, angels even, go to Sodom and Gomorrah to tell Lot to get outta town? Sure enough, the cities were destroyed by god. Didn't Noah even have a few years to build a king-sized boat? All according to the Bible, that is.

So, if these modern sinful people were about to be destroyed by an angry god, where was their fair warning? You know, the kind of warning people used to get when they were about to be wiped out? Oh, I know. People will say that god gave us a blanket warning in the book of Revelations. And then went on vacation for the last two thousand plus years. Must've gotten tired of telling us all the same damn thing over and over again. So what is he doing now? Hangin' out and wiping out a city now and then just to give us a reminder that he's still there and he's still pissed off? He can take the time to sucker-punch us from time to time but he can't be troubled to give us the advance notice warnings any more?

Puh-leeze.

No, religion claims to be the solution of all of society's ills and yet, nobody was saved from the hurricane or any other natural disaster and they never are. The only thing religion ever does is claim, after the fact, that those people were evil and they deserved it. Like they're saying, "Surprise, surprise, burn in hell, cretins." Or words to that effect.

To religion's credit, a great many of them are out there helping the people who were hurt by Katrina. They did it after the Tsunami. They ALWAYS do. They ALWAYS will. Kudos to them and they have my support for such things. But don't say that any disaster is from god or that any person deserved such a tragedy. It's ludicrous at best and insulting at worst.

And time to polish up those crystal balls and peep stones and Urims and Thummims or whatever and get to protecting your people! I have a good one for ya. What about that bulge in the ground in Oregon?
http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/ap_050906_sisters_bulge.html The scientists candidly say they don't know what's up. How 'bout you religious prophets? You have a chance to outdo science this time. Do you have an answer for us on this one? BEFORE we find half of Oregon under a lava field?

--Wag--

Thoughts on racism

2005-09-04T13:10:00.000-06:00

This subject is touchy as hell. Most of us would much rather sweep it under the rug, myself included, but it needs discussion. Every time it gets discussed, something else comes out of it which is revelatory and worth pondering. The thought-provoking nature of this topic can reward us with enlightenment, despite the difficulties in talking about it.

Discussion of it can also cause damage, unfortunately. It can be easy to go off half-cocked and emotional without setting the brains to "Function." But again, discussion can easily bring about new ideas and concepts to the betterment of us all.

I'm as white as they come. Blonde hair, blue eyes, german blood, german name; the works. I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body but that was not always the case. My mother's family is a group of Missouri rednecks in the most extreme sense of the word, "Redneck." The only reason we can't call them Hillbillies is because they aren't THAT inbred.

Just kidding, really! :D Still, they are as racist a group of people as you can possibly find in the world. I've forgotten ten times more racist jokes than any of you will ever hear and they all came from that group of my mother's family. As an impressionable child, it would have been easy for me to become a Nazi-thinking nutball just like my racist pig uncles. If you're wondering, no, I don't have a great deal of love for them.

One of the things which tempered me somewhat and kept me from becoming that racist azz was that from age 7 to age 16, I grew up on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Window Rock, AZ. At the time, the population was about 2% white. (Now, I think it is about 3% white.) Picture this, however, if you will. A small-for-his-size white kid with snow white hair and at age 8, wearing some pretty geeky-looking glasses.

Sad, really. Hell, even the few white kids thought I was goofy-looking! :D

But what was really sad was the number of times I was harrassed by indian kids for the simple fact that I was a white boy. A bilagona (sp?). A term as derogatory as niggger ever was. An Navajo kid pulled a knife on me on the school bus one time. I was in third grade. Scared the he!! outta me, to be sure. (As an aside, that same guy contacted me about three years ago and apologized for that, if you can believe it!)

Why do I tell you all of that? So I can tell you this. Just as there were more than my fair share of life experiences where I was treated with racism and prejudice, there were just as many times when I was treated with decency and respect by people of other races. Other beliefs and skin colors. Other views of life.

I've come to believe it's never about racism, it's about respect. And respect is one of those things you're taught to have for other people at a young age, regardless of anything to do with their appearance. How they dress, wear their makeup, how they smell, how they carry themselves, how they speak, where they live, their sexual preferences, and yes, what color their skin is.

Most racist people were taught to be racist by their parents. They were not taught to have respect for people who deserve it. They were taught to judge people by their skin color alone. No, I take that back. They were taught to [b]hate[/b] people based on their skin color alone. To hate that which they do not understand. To despise that which is different from themselves. To consider themselves better than the other guy because they have a 'better' skin color.

As I implied above, people of all races are prejudicial and racist. Whites are not any more racist than Blacks, Asians, Latinos, etc. We are, in fact, all very much the same in that regard. The one Sioux indian who lived on the reservation was harrassed by racist Navajos just as much as the white guys were harrassed by racist Navajos. And treated well by the non-racist Navajos.

In my never-to-be-humble opinion, the only thing worse than racial prejudice is religious prejudice which starts more wars. Still, racism affects us daily and more constantly and will be many centuries before it is completely extirpated from our little world here.

--Wag--

Conversations with "A"

2005-09-04T11:16:00.000-06:00

"A," is 19 or so years old. On occasion, we have cause to e-mail each other and the resulting conversations can be rather thought-provoking. Since the provocation of thought is both the purpose and the cause of this blog, I thought I'd post this here.

Background is simple. She's a VERY sharp kid but she's having trouble finding motivation and direction in her life. In that context, see what you think of this.

Wag

---------------------------------------

From: A

How’s it going? Happy Tuesday!

I am taking my Notary Public test this Sat. – very excitable!

Lol

I have a new plan for college – I am going to do small little things like this Notary thing and next semester I am trying to get enrolled in Massage Therapy and then I am going to take Culinary Arts and get my Real Estate lic.

So I figure that as long as I am jerking off in college I might as well accomplish something useful.

And I think that small accomplishments along the way regarding things I enjoy and can get use out of will make the whole experience less discouraging.

--A

---------------------------------------

From: Wag

Excellent. If I need you to notarize some stuff, I'll bring it on over. Assuming your rates are comptetitive, of course!

Massage Therapy? That might be good. Make sure they teach you how to avoid Carpal Tunnel / RSD problems. Use your feet and elbows. LOL

Real Estate. Good pick. Easiest low-paid work, hardest high-paid work. As with any sales position. You'll do well if you put your mind to it.

Jerking off. I sincerely hope you're not equipped for that. Unless you're jerking off someone else! (I know, that's bad!)

Accomplishments are important. I have trouble staying focused on any one thing long enough to get really good at it. Though I did VERY intensive piano work for many years. Probably the greatest of my accomplishments. I just get very bored with things very quickly.

You and I have a similar problem: We're both highly intelligent and when we start on a new adventure, it's always very easy at first which makes it fun and exciting. If we don't get bored right away, we last long enough to get very frustrated with it as it grows more difficult (read that, "we have to start really working at it") and we eventually abandon our original quest in favor of the next new and exciting thing which comes along. I'm still trying to change my habit and build up some persistence/perseverance/discipline to avoid this fundamental character flaw in the future. I'm twice as old as you but I think I'm ahead of the game a little just by understanding it at this point. Wish I'd understood it when I was 20.

Of course, I may be completely full of shit! Something to think about, nonetheless

In any case, keep me posted. You're a sharp cookie and your adventures interest me a great deal.

--Wag--

---------------------------------------

From: A

Nope – you are right on. I am on a mission right now (for the last week or so). Been doing a lot of thinking and that is one of the conclusions I came to – things I have to work at PISS ME OFF!

Lol

So that is why I am going to do these little easier things. And I am switching my major to Communications. I am going to make myself accomplish stuff whether I like it or not! I am tired of being so lazy – but I don’t know how to fix myself so I will have to work with it for now, ya know?

And thanks for always listening about my nonsense. I really appreciate your input.

--A

---------------------------------------

From: Wag

It isn't nonsense. Self-evaluation is a critical component to making personal change. Good for you for realizating it.

Also, you aren't lazy. I used to worry about that a lot regarding myself. Coincidentally, a month or two ago, someone told me I'm not lazy, just unmotivated. (Or somehow, I came to that conclusion; I think someone pointed it out to me.)

The problem isn't laziness, the problem is finding out A) what you're good at and B) what you're passionate about. You're probably good at several things. Such is the case with me. I'm very good at several things but not exceptional at any of them. The reason I'm not exceptional is, as I said in the last e-mail, it's tough to keep myself focused. I think that's because I've never done anything which drives me passionately for "the duration."

I also enjoy doing several things and all too frequently allow myself to get distracted by one thing while I'm working on or enjoying another.

What do you enjoy doing? Actively doing? (Watching movies or sports or other passive couch-potato things doesn't count.) What you enjoy doing is what you need to get involved in up to your ears. I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I enjoy doing enough to think about it for a large percentage of my day. Something that nags at me to go and do all the time, throughout the day.

So far, nothing comes to mind. But I haven't given up. Something will grab me and hold me, give me a vision which I can't refuse. It won't matter, then, whether or not I make any money at it, I'll be driven from within.

At least, I hope so!

If, for some reason, I start boring you with all this, just say so and I'll shut the hell up. LOL

--Wag--

---------------------------------------

From: A

I think that what I really like to do is to take care of people. I know that prob sounds way retarded. Not like sick people – but just on a daily basis. I keep complaining that every boyfriend I have turns me into their mom, but I think I do it myself.

Aside from that, I like to organize things, I like to clean things (don’ t tell my parents), I like finding the most efficient way of doing things. I have actually semi-seriously entertained the idea of being a housekeeper or cleaner or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know what that stuff amounts to though – haven’t found anything that really makes me feel passionate except for babies and they scare the hell out of me.

--A

---------------------------------------

[Several days go by]

---------------------------------------

From: Wag

I'm not avoiding this response. Just want to make it as right as possible.

Nothing at all wrong with taking care of people. On the other hand, you have to be sure you don't do more harm than good. It's a real risk for people of your nature. You may find you have a tendency to do too much. Are you a person who will help the baby bird out of its eggshell? Help the butterfly out of it's cocoon? Damage them permanently because of your misplaced good intentions and misinformed concept of what help really is? Something to think about. My father-in-law is one of those people.

Also, are you the type who will help someone else at the expense of your own well-being? Equally disastrous. Again, my father-in-law who has given money to so many people that he's had extreme financial difficulties because of it. Not good. He just can't bring himself to say no. Was it Danny Cox or Jim Rohn who said, "You can't help someone unless you're on higher ground."

It's easy to turn down a stranger who asks for help. They won't bother you again. It's just as easy to give them a couple of bucks and for the same reason. But a relative or some other loved one? If you give them help, they keep coming back. If you turn them down, they might even keep coming back but they'll slander you six ways to Sunday with everyone else you love. (Obviously, exceptions do apply.)

Rather thought-provoking, especially if we take it out of the realm of money and finance and into the realm of personalities, emotion, love and relationships. How much do we help? Or not?

Do you agree with everything your friends say as they repeatedly whine and complain to you about the same ol' problems over and over again? They think you're being supportive but are you really? I started telling "friends" I didn't want to hear about it any more. What I wanted to hear was how they had solved the last problems they dumped on me and what they learned in the process. Not surprisingly, MOST of these people I haven't heard from in a long time. They don't like it when you hold them responsible for themselves and their actions. They aren't happy unless they are crying and whining. And they do nothing to solve their problems.

Like I said, I have a new set of friends now . . . !

Another possibility to consider. Do you like to take care of people because you're genuinely interested in their well-being? Or are you merely enthralled with the idea of making them love you? I found that out about myself quite some time ago. Externally and to myself, I had successfully projected the image of caring and concern for others. One of the more masterful self-deceptions I ever foisted upon me! What I was really doing was selfishly seeking the approval of others. I wanted them to worship the ground I walked on. Though I wasn't doing it with money, I was trying to "buy" a bunch of friends. I wanted to hear them say how wonderful I was. I'm not saying I believe YOU are like this but it might be worth checking.

Take that kind of introspection to the cleaning thing. I'm messy all the time but I like the activity of getting things cleaned up and organized. Not because I'm neat and organized by nature but because I like the PROCESS of getting something done. Afterwards, I enjoy the sense of accomplishment. You may believe you enjoy the idea of cleaning people's homes but is it that? Or is it something deeper? Again, worth a self-check!!!!

As a kid, I absolutely HATED doing work or chores or whatever for my parents around the house. But I would go to the neighbor's and slave away for hours on end, do a fantastic job of it, and walk away having refused whatever pay they may have offered me. Why? Because they would express their appreciation to me whereas my parents expected it of us and would get angry if we didn't perform for them. Of course, we would do a crappy job for them, doing as little as we could get away with because it was always highly unpleasant to do. To this day, I don't work as well for myself as I do for other people because the sense of accomplishment comes from another person, externally. I have a lot harder time getting a sense of satisfaction and achievement from within. And I'm still messy, to this day!

I'm gettting too windy here. Time to wrap this up! LOL

Having said all of that, there is NOTHING retarded with loving to take care of people. Whatever you love doing should engender no fear of what others think of it. A dream is a dream, a love is a love. Here's one way to think of it: Ever see two people totally in love but one of them is a complete physical disaster? Ugly, unattractive, mis-shapen? Ever think to yourself, "What a waste! That person's mate can do MUCH better than that!" But the attractive one is not concerned in the least with your thoughts of their relationship because they love each other. The same is true with you and your dreams and desires. If you truly love them, you're not worried about how others feel about your desires. You don't worry if they believe your loves are retarded or not.

There is no such thing as a higher calling above that which you love doing the most. If you're doing what you love, you are doing the greatest thing you can possibly do. So go for it! Do what it takes to learn about your loves and dreams and how best to accomplish them. Find out how to get motivated to do it and how to get past the times when you get discouraged when the road is tough. How to rise above the challenges which come your way. If you don't know how to do these things already, now's the time to learn how!

Whattaya think?

--Wag--

---------------------------------------

From: A

I do not think that I am someone who inadvertently hurts other people with good intentions. I am pretty honest and I have no problem repeatedly offering my best advice (whether or not it is taken). I am a kind of counselor for a lot of my friends. –not that I don’t also utilize their services in that department – but I usually already know what I am going to do. I like taking care of people in ways like remembering their appointments for them, their prescriptions, their chores, requests, making them feel loved. I pretty much turn into a secretary/calendar/mom/girlfriend whenever I get into a relationship.

I no longer help to the point of self-destruction (once was enough for me) but I do go way out of my way for people who matter when necessary. I don’t really have very many friends, but that doesn’t bother me – I like the ones I do have and that is what matters I think.

I KNOW that the reason I like cleaning is b/c of the process – I like watching things get clean and being the cause of the process, making things organized and neat and dirt-free (I don’t know why – I am sure there is some psychological theory that I could probably guess, but whatever, don’t want to go there) – I am a total slob with my stuff (although that is getting better too) but will clean B’s house till it sparkles. Oddly (or maybe predictably) enough, I get mad if he doesn’t demonstrate his approval, euphoric when his room mate does, but when I stay at his parents house with him, or at my house (when I actually clean) or my friend’s houses I just do it because I like the process and I don’t mind if nobody says anything.

I do like the approval of others (maybe too much). And I have examined this in depth. I do a lot of things for reactions, reinforcement. And you are right on about the family thing – when it is expected it is nowhere near as rewarding. But I am in the process of getting over that right now I hope. I have become much more family oriented in the last little while.

--A

From: Wag

A, you're okay in my book. Stay excellent, always!

--Wag--

Katrina bites humanity in the ass

2005-09-03T11:15:00.000-06:00

Ever notice how any fact spouted off by Michael Moore instantly loses about 95% of its credibility?

William Golding wrote about the development of this kind of human anarchy in "The Lord of the Flies." Good book, which I highly recommend. The hurrican didn't just break down the levees and let in the destruction of water. Katrina also broke down the levees of society, allowing the waste of human indignity flow in.

This concept was also discussed at length in Philip Wylie's, "An Essay on Morals." Human beings are nothing more than animals; we just pretend we are better than they. Truth is, we CAN be better than animals but in the core of our being, we tend to have this persistent tug back to our true nature and instinct.

Viktor Frankl discusses this in "Man's Search for Meaning." As a resistance leader and activist in Auschwitz and Dachau, he observed that a man can transform from saint to demon just because his belly is empty and back again when it's full.

The difference between humans and animals is very simple: Choice. We have the option of choosing between our base instinct and a "better" civility which ingratiates ourselves with others of our kind. Humans are the "master race." Yet, there are individuals within our group who choose to ravage the remainder of us. These are those who will use any excuse to take full advantage of the weakness of others and prey upon them. They are the exception rather than the rule.

How to deal with these "diseased" individuals is the source of great consternation among the rest of us. The same individuals who would proclaim that we support and succor the poor and the needy are the same who would decry those who speak of shooting the very predators who are taking advantage of their destitute circumstances.

The differences between us as individuals are overwhelming. One very important concept is certain, however. Extremism on either end of the scale is not the "correct" answer or solution to any of our problems in society or for this hurricane disaster. Sadly, my solutions to the problems caused by this crisis are not going to be implemented, even though they would immediately solve every related issue for centuries to come. Just as sadly, your responses to this crisis also will not be implemented even though they too, would solve all the inherent difficulties for the next few centuries. You know it's true; we are all social engineering genuises, every one of us.

There are a few facts which should be borne in the forefronts of our minds:

1. People are hurt and suffering.
2. It matters not who's fault it was, it wasn't necessarily theirs.
3. No solution is going to be perfect or good enough or fast enough.
4. Pontificating about any particular issue will do NO good whatsoever.
5. Praying will do no good.
6. Getting on line and posting about it will do no good.
7. Debate will do no good. (Ironically, happy people will do the most good for those who are suffering.)

No, there is only one thing which matters right now: Giving of yourself to help those in need. How much money have you sent? If it isn't possible for you to go and physically help those people yourself, then send money to them. Choose your aid societies carefully, 'cause there are just as many financial predators out there as physical predators. As a matter of fact, even if you were to go down there yourself, you'd likely just get in the way and become a part of the problem.

So send money. The pathetic, endless, ludicrously endless debate of the intricacies of this whole disaster are worthless. Prayer is worthless. Crying is worthless. Anger is worthless. The only thing which matters is money.

Send it. And shut the fuck up.

--Wag--

Addicted to Speed

2005-08-23T17:20:00.000-06:00

No, not THAT speed. Jeez, you think I could write this brilliantly if I were a loser on crack? Or whatever serves to amp people up these days?

Not a chance.

No, I'm talking about the speed and convenience offered by computers. Today, I saw yet another headline about how a system was hacked and the private information of some group of military officers was compromised. Yes, I mean, "headline," too. I didn't read the article through because I already know what it's going to say. The same thing they all say.

Now why on earth don't we solve this problem once and for all? All we have to do is all shut off all of our computers at once, leave them off forever and viola!!!! No more computer information theft! No more costly viruses! No more Spam! (Whoa. I think that one might sell me on the idea.) No more time wasted posting on newsgroups, bulleting boards and blogs. (Waitaminnit. I actually like that.) No more music downloads to waste my time. No more pirated music and movies. No more class action lawyers getting rich. (Starting to like this again even more!) No more garbage about conspiracy theories to distract my life.

Next thing you know, we're all going to be taken over by our moniters. Our eyes will be strictly pixelated. Do ya wanna be plasma or LCD?

Nice. We have a near-worldwide cultural addiction. What's strange is that with the exception of Australia, it's the Northern Hemisphere which is the most technologically advanced and therefore the most addicted. But what's really odd is the number of people who would go utterly ballistic if we unplugged them permanently. Good gawd, you'd have to drive to the computer store to buy software instead of downloading it. Or you'd have to wait for it to come in the mail. Horrible to comtemplate, I know. Tech support would have to mail you updated drivers diskettes so you could do updates. Of course, if Microsoft would no longer have to worry about security updates to Windows, et al.

Nope. Life would be good! We could probably even go back to the horse and buggy era of the dark ages of 150 years ago. Nah, that's too messy. How 'bout the roaring 50's? Nah. Crappy clothes. (Not that I'm a fashion guru or anything.)

Yup. I think the solution to all of our problems is to simply cut the power to computers.

--Wag--

Marriage revisited

2005-08-23T07:03:00.000-06:00

I suppose I write a lot about marriage and relationships here. Don't get me wrong; I'm no expert at it, even though I've been doing it a long time. Two months ago, it was 16 years. But I look around at many of my friends and my family and I see that my wife and I are a strange phenomenon.

The marriages and relationships af a great many of my friends pretty much fall apart about 3 to 5 years into it. Almost like clockwork. They don't always divorce or abandon the diseased relationship right then but they frequently do. Sadly, even though they sometimes stay together, their relationships are poisoned and they fail to get them fixed.

Why is that? Why does it seem to be so problematic and difficult for people to keep their relationships together and keep them healthy? These are good people, despite anything they may say about each other in divorce court. It's tragic when a relationship or marriage falls apart but it's happening to people who deserve better. Where did they go wrong?

The answer may be training. Skills. Relationship skills and training, to be precise. It isn't about whether or not you or your partner or spouse is the right type of person. It has a lot more to do with HOW the two interact with each other.

Granted, there are plenty of individuals out there who are assholes, bitches, selfish pricks, heartless wenches and other sorts of worms and dirtbags. These are people who will probably never be able to have a meaningful, rewarding relationship with another human being. These are the frat boys and the cheerleader types who are thinking about only one thing, 100% of the time: Themselves. While I do believe everyone on the planet has the potential to change that attitude if they have it, I also believe only a very small number of them will ever actually do so.

No, I'm writing this article to those whose relationships are in trouble. You're probably 3 to 5 years into your relationship or your troubles started about then. Frequently, you probably think to yourself, "If only my spouse would . . . ." Sound familiar? Good. You're likely just missing one thing in your life: Relationship training.

There's a lot more you need than what you'll ever get here or anywhere on the internet. There's great stuff out there, don't get me wrong and they may get you started but where you really get the help and training you need is when you go to a trained, qualified marriage and relationship counsellor who can talk to both of you in the same room together and observe the interaction you're having. And then train you on the things you're doing wrong. It's worth whatever it costs. (And do your homework. There are plenty of crappy wanna-be counsellors out there who don't know their relationships from their asses.)

I think a major key here is in HOW the two of you communicate with each other. And that's what you need to learn.

Give it a shot. Find the right counsellor. And even if you're NOT on the brink of divorce, make your marriage a happier one with some counselling.

--Wag--

Wallowing in the past.

2005-06-23T09:36:00.000-06:00

I like to keep cool things on here. This is a good brief for future reference.

In addition to the thoughts below, I'll add this quote by Thomas Edison: "I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work."

--Wag--

------------------------

Release the Past by Vic Johnson (excerpted from Day by Day with James Allen)

"Do not dwell upon the sins and mistakes of yesterday so exclusively as to have no energy and mind left for living rightly today, and do not think that the sins of yesterday can prevent you from living purely today." - As A Man Thinketh

It's been said that the majority of conversations by men over 40 are about the past. Sometimes it's about the "good old days" and sometimes it's about the deals gone bad, the "if I only had" stories, the missed opportunities, etc.

Letting our "sins and mistakes of yesterday" dominate our thinking today robs us of our present joy and our future happiness. It causes us to miss the real opportunity of TODAY!

John Maxwell, in his outstanding best seller, Failing Forward, gives some great practical advice: "To move forward today, you must learn to say goodbye to yesterday's hurts, tragedies and baggage. You can't build a monument to past problems and fail forward.

Take time right now to list the negative events from your past that may still be holding you hostage. For each item you list, go through the following exercise:

Acknowledge the pain.
Grieve the loss.
Forgive the person.
Forgive yourself.
Determine to release the event and move on.

Your best days are definitely ahead of you if you treat your "mistakes" as necessary lessons to be learned. If you understand that each lesson brings with it a certain amount of wisdom, you can understand how truly enhanced your life is becoming. Many people can't achieve the success of their dreams because they won't leave their past behind. They won't tear down the monuments they've built to their old hurts and problems.

One of the best teachings I've ever heard on this was from a motivational speaker whose name has escaped me, but whose message didn't: "In life there are no mistakes, only lessons."

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson

Star Wars Episode III Review

2005-05-23T07:58:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll jump on the bandwagon here. Ergo, everyone else is seeing it and talking about it. Here's my unbiased opinion: Great movie!

It's not about what people think, however.

It's often believed that the movies are about Luke and Leia and the defeat of Vader. Or, they believe it's about the Force and all that it entails. But in the context of the entire set of six movies, it's blindingly apparent that the movies are about Anakin, his transformation to an agent of Evil and his ultimate conversion back to Good. A last-minute, death-bed conversion, to be sure, but certainly a conversion, nonetheless.

I suppose it was too late for him to do anything about it, once converted.

There are problems with the movie. One of my friends verbalized it before I did: How come they have all this technology, including the ability to create fully-functional mechanical limbs for people but they can't tell that Leia (EDIT-Correction: Amidalah! Jeez.) is carrying twins until the last minute? Obi-Wan's ghost said in Ep V that he was trained by Yoda but in Ep I it was obvious that he was trained by Qui-Gon. Things like that.

Purely incidental.

I'm concerned about more important problems with the movie, like why can't the Jedi council figure out that when the prophecy said Anakin would bring balance to the Force, it didn't mean he was going to eliminate evil. It meant that he would balance the Force. Yoda came close when he said, "Unless misread the prophecy we have."

The Jedi were too prevalent, even arrogant. Certainly too strong. The Force was over-balanced on the good side. The prophecy meant that the Jedi needed a swift kick in the butt by an agent of evil which, of course, Anakin/Vader fulfilled nicely. After everything was kicked over to the evil, dark side of the force, it went a little too far in that direction. Lo and behold, Anakin's heir rose to the occasion and brought everything back toward the good side. At that point, however, there are no longer any bad guys, only one good guy (two if you count Leia) and a long road ahead before the Jedi councils are rebuilt.

I haven't read the books so maybe some of this conjecture resides therein.

But bear in mind, the six movies are a story of Anakin, the main character throughout. All of the movies focus and refocus on him.

Come to think of it, the ONLY two other characters who are even in all of the six movies are R2-D2 and C-3P0.

Cool.

--Wag--

Newlyweds, eh?

2005-03-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

Just a little anecdotal story, I was working with a lady at the leather shop last week for some new riding pants. We were taking care of my order while we waited for Ms. Wag to arrive. The woman who was helping me with my order heard me on the phone with Ms. Wag and commented, "I can tell you two haven't been together very long."

"What makes you say that?" I queried.

"Well, just the way you talk so sweetly to your wife." she replied.

I was kinda laughing inside because this conversation always ends the same no matter who I have it with. So I continued to play the game. "What did I say that makes you say that?" I asked her.

She said, "Oh, you called her Sugar-pie. It's only the couples who haven't been together very long who say that kind of thing to each other." I hear that quite often and it saddens me every time.

So I pressed her a little more. "How long do you think we've been together?" It was apparent she had an opinion on the matter and wanted to express it to me."

Oh, about three years, I'd say!" She smiled at me as if she had me cornered.

I have to admit, I actually laughed inside at her comment and body-language she used to shore it up. Mostly because I hear it all the time. "We've been together for nearly sixteen years!" I proudly announced to her!

Her reaction was the same classic reaction I've seen a gazillion times. Her eyes went wide, her jaw dropped and she gasped. "Sixteen years! I would have never guessed!!!"

"Nobody ever does!"

She finished with my order and when my wife arrived, we kissed, as we always do. The leather-designing merchant lady was duly impressed yet again. She fawned all over us. We had a great time in her shop.

What's really cool is, that's how we are with each other all the time without thinking about it. We are mistaken for newlyweds quite frequently. And we love it.

I think if you can engender the newlywed reaction from people 16 years after your wedding date, you can truly say you're in love. And the best thing about it? We're not acting, either. We really do fall more in love every day and we have no problem expressing it to each other.

To me, that's what a happy relationship is all about.

--Wag--

What a marriage is NOT.

2005-03-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've been married nearly 16 years. To the same woman, even! Our perspective on marriage, however, has changed radically in the past few years with the fortuitous opening of our minds on the realities of life as opposed to the dogmas of our upbringing. I'm fairly confident that Ms. Wag's views of marriage parallel my own but for the sake of discussion, these are strictly my own opinions.

First off, what is marriage? It's NOT a commitment of two people to each other, despite what the religions would have you believe. Commitment comes long before any marriage. What marriage IS is a contract between two people and a third party, usually the state government in this country. Sometimes, the third party is a religion or the religion and state are adjuncts to each other. In any case, the state and religion often work together, each for the interests of the other. And not necessarily for the benefit of the couple.

Marriage is the formation of a corporation. Once the corporation is formed, then it must follow certain rules. Granted, the majority of those rules don't come into play on a day-to-day basis. The huge majority of those rules don't come into play except for two very important occasions: Dissolution of the marriage through death or divorce and second, any business relating to children. Only one of those two circumstances really justify a marriage contract. Keep calling it a contract because that's exactly what it is, if you really think about it.

So what's the big deal? My opinion is that there is only ONE reason to get married. That is, if the couple decides to have children. For one thing, all of the benefits of marriage accruing to a couple with no kids can all be accomplished with a few simple legal documents. A will, a medical directive, a trust, etc. etc. Not too difficult to set that up. Indeed, a gay couple can derive all marital benefits (these days, at least) by some careful crafting of legal documentation. Costs more than a simple marriage in a cleric's office but hey; it can be done, and rather easily, too.

Children, on the other hand, derive a great number of benefits when their parents are married as opposed to not married. Granted, attorneys can put together docs to secure many of those same benefits with no marriage, however, it's FAR more expensive and complex and there are some holes which can't be plugged as easily, if at all, as it is when there is a marriage certificate on file at the recorder's office. Marriage automatically fills in all those gaps to ensure that a child has all the possible benefits of two parents in the home, an ongoing benefit upon dissolution of marriage and an assurance that care will be given if at all possible. Some of those benefits are lost if their parents aren't married.

A couple without children does NOT gain enough benefit in a formal marriage to justify it. Sure, the woman gets a little greater measure of personal security but really, is a couple's relationship any greater or more secure because they have a paper with the signature of an preacher and/or the county clerk on it? Does a formalized marriage make a couple more committed to each other by some magical means? The answer based in reality is a simple, yet resounding NO.

Granted, a ceremony of devotion in front of friends and loved ones is an excellent idea. I think it's a great affirmation of love. I think people should do such a ceremony. But to get the law involved does nothing to make the relationship more loving or more devoted or to bring the couple closer together or for longer, etc.

And yeah, if I could dissuade people from marriage, I would. Except, of course, if they are going to have kids. If a couple wanted kids, I'd press for a marriage contract at all costs!

If I were to go back and do it again, knowing we weren't going to have kids, I wouldn't get married. If I lose my wife somehow, I won't remarry but I'll seek the same loving relationship I have with Ms. Wag in the arms of another woman. My wife would want it that way and if the tables were turned, I'd want it that way for her. Our relationship is secure, with or without that signature. We have it, because of our past upbringing, though I couldn't easily locate it at the moment! Funny, actually. I've never even verified that it's properly recorded. I really don't care, anyway. It's a meaningless document regardless. What is meaningful is that I love her and she loves me. We know who we're going home to every night and we have no fears of any jeopardy to our relationship which we feel would be secured more fully by having a marriage certificate on file with the state.

Love demands no such outside affirmation.

--Wag--

A study in . . . whatever!

2005-03-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today, a very dear friend of mine sent me the following web link: http://popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html

His comment: "Who does this kinda thing?"

I responded thusly:

Usually, university students do stuff like this. It used to be quite the project to collate such information but with the advent of software analysis tools, this kind of thing is merely a data entry problem these days. In other words, yours and my out-of-the-box Excel and Access software can both do this kind of mapping quite easily.

It should also be mentioned that most of the truly useful statistical information we rely on from day to day is generated by just this kind of university study and analysis. Not this particular one, of course; they do put out a lot of trash studies, too! Need I mention the study which was conducted several years ago which demonstrated the effect of cow belching and farting on the ozone layer?

As to the value of it, consider this little anecdote. When I was 16, between my junior and senior year, my family was uprooted by my father and we moved to Missouri. We had lived and had been raised in Northeastern Arizona. Note an inaccuracy in the map: We had grown up calling it "pop." Missouri, on the other hand, was in the habit of calling it "soda." Now you wouldn't think this would be a major issue. It certainly never occurred to us. But the minute someone heard one of us order a "pop" we dang near GOT popped upside the head.

This kind of information could be very useful in determining the best course of action in a given situation, even for such a seemingly innocuous study. By the same token, an inaccuracy such as the one I mentioned above, could prove disastrous. Our not knowing about it certainly proved as such!

--Wag--

An old story told a new way.

2005-03-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

Chapter One.

A cowboy rode into town, dusty from long, hot weeks on the Arizona trails. It had been so long since he'd had a drink, he couldn't remember the taste of whiskey but he rode up at the first, and only, saloon in town and tied his horse to the hitchin' rail. The water barrel on the shaded porch looked cool and inviting and while his horse drank, he paused for a moment to consider.

He looked around. The sun was shining brightly. It always did. But for some reason, the town had a dark pall to it. A somber mood. He couldn't put his finger on it at first but after a moment, it occurred to him that it was the people. Not that there were many of them. This town was a leftover from the happy, riotous days of the gold rush and the cattle drives. Those days were long gone and the people looked it. Naw, there was more to it than that. An additional shadow he couldn't quite figure out. Should he just move on?

Nope. That whiskey was callin' his name. The batwing doors squeaked gently as he walked through them and he heard the saloon go silent as the few people inside took in his unfamiliar face. He slowly and deliberately walked to the bar, enjoying the attention and the curious stares. Of course, nobody would ask him questions out loud. It wasn't polite. He had always liked the sound of his boots on wooden floors, though, so he took his time, and made that 15 feet of hardwood last.

"Whiskey," he told the bartender. His voice was pleasant enough and the room resumed it's usual quiet chatter and poker games.

"Coming right up," said the barkeep and quick as that, returned with a glass and a bottle. "Two bits," he said. The cowboy's coin clinked on the counter as he laid it down. Slowly, he drank, sipping at the glass as if he were never going to get another one as long as he lived. The taste was beautiful to his dry, parched throat and the warmth of it burning down to his belly was truly treasured. He fell in love with that little glass right there on the spot they made love together there at the bar for quite some time.

After a little while, the cowboy noticed that there was a gloom to the saloon as well, more than you could blame on the dimness of the light. Many bars are happy places, the liquor loosening everyone's spirits, the occasional brawl being more good-natured than viscious. But this saloon was different somehow. He noticed, a little more quickly this time, that it was the people, much as it had been outside. Still, he didn't quite get it but, he figured it wasn't much of his business and continued with his cherished, long-needed drink.

Then he noticed the little sign, right there on the bar. It was an old sign, lettered by hand many many years ago. The cowboy couldn't read so he asked the drink slopper about it.

"Oh, that sign says, '$50 to the man who can make my horse laugh.' Been there a while, though."

"Make a horse laugh?!" The cowboy chuckled out loud and noticed the saloon go quiet again. The bar patrons were really paying attention, now. "Surely you jest," he said.

The barkeep explained. "Nope. Y'see, I have this horse out back. Many years ago, I bought him off'n an old gold miner who's long since left these parts in search of better things. He sold that horse to me so as to build up his stake for the next big gold rush. Then he high-tailed it outta here."

"I see," said the cowboy. He was a little perplexed and asked, "But how is it that you're offering a reward for makin' 'im laugh?"

The barkeep was more than pleased to tell all. "Well, the horse must've really loved that old prospector because the minute the old man was out of sight, this 'ere horse broke down and started cryin'. He's been bawlin' his eyes out ever since and while he's still a good horse and all, works hard, plenty capable, it's just a little embarrassing to ride around town on a horse that cries like a baby. Y'ever try to punch cows on a cryin' horse? It jest ain't manly."

"I see," said the cowboy, still chuckling a little. "And I can see why you'd want to git 'im to stop cryin'. Is the offer still good?"

"Yup. Got the reward right here," and he showed the cowboy two $20 gold eagles and a $10 bill. The cowboy inspected the $10 bill closely and then handed it back.

"Show me this horse o' yers," said the cowboy.

So, the saloon keeper walked around the bar and led the cowboy out to the back of the saloon. There was a corral there with a stall at the far end. The cowboy could see barely make out a horse in there, standing under the shade of the stall. In the bright sunlight, all he could make out was the horse's ass end. Still, he could hear it; the sounds of wracking, sad sobs and wails. The cries of a grief-stricken soul who could never be comforted. It was the saddest thing the cowboy ever heard in his life and he was overcome with sympathy for the poor animal, not to mention the bartender. As he approached the horse, he saw great tears dropping from his eyes and the horse looked over at him, forlorn and weary from all the tears.

"I kin saddle him up for ya if you like," said the bartender. "Just to show you that the horse is really a good animal."

"Naw, that won't be necessary," the cowboy replied. "Just gimme a minute."

The cowboy walked up to the horse and began whispering in his ear. After a moment, he stepped away and the horse looked at the cowboy, took one deep breath and burst out laughing!

The transformation was incredible. Looking at him, one would've never thought it was the same horse! The cowboy turned to the bartender and realized that the people in the saloon had followed them out. All of them were dumbfounded, jaws agape! They had all tried over and over and over again to win that fifty bucks and had never succeeded in all the years they had tried. More people heard what was going on and drifted over to the corral to see what was the matter. They, too, remained, awed by the miracle before their eyes.

"Wellp. That about takes care of that," drawled the cowboy. "Can I get my reward money now?"

In slow motion, the saloon keeper reached into his pocket and handed him the money. "I don't know how you did it, mister. What's your secret?"

The cowboy just chuckled and said, "I think I'll keep that little tidbit to myself for now. And I think I need another drink before I hit the road again."

The bar tender said, "Your drink's on me, sir. In fact," and he shouted out, "Drinks are on the house!"

The crowd cheered and they all went into the saloon to take full advantage of the bartender's newfound exhuberance!

"Well, that sure lightened the mood around here," the cowboy muttered to himself. He joined the celebration for a while and after he finished another drink, he moseyed on out to his horse and rode off over the horizon.

"Strange town," he commented to his horse. His horse just nickered back at him and they rode off with the sounds of a laughing horse fading into the distance behind them.

Chapter Two.

Several years later, the same cowboy found himself in the same territory. Another hot, sunny day at the end of a long, dusty trail. He rode into town and tied up at the same hitching rail as before there in front of the town's only saloon. He noted that the townsfolk were rather subdued, a little less than eager to be polite. A little tense. He listened and sure enough, the sounds of laughter rose above the saloon from the corral out back. He chuckled to himself and muttered, "Unbelievable," as he walked in, savoring the sounds of his boots on the wood floor.
Nobody said anything to him; he rather suspected he wasn't recognized at first.

"Whiskey," he said to the saloon keeper.

"Four bits," was the reply.

The cowboy raised an eyebrow briefly and wondered at the inflation but he was too thirsty to challenge the price increase. He plunked his coins on the counter and proceeded to nurse a drink which, in his opinion, wasn't quite as good as it'd been last time. He didn't expect to see the sign so he was a little surprised to see it there on the bar, as before. But he noticed it was different. He still couldn't read but he could tell it said something different. Just wasn't sure what it said this time around.

Next time the bartender came around, he asked him about it. "Oh, it's you," said the bartender. His tone wasn't complimentary in the least. "That sign now says, '$100 to the man who can get my horse to stop laughing."

"Whoa," said the cowboy, slowly and deliberately. "What do you mean? I thought you wanted him to laugh?"

"Well, I did," replied the barkeeper. "Way back then, anyways. Now, though, all that horse does is laugh all the time and he's rather useless, frankly. The crying was depressing but at least I could get some work out of him and ride him when I needed to. Hitch him to a wagon now and then, that sort of thing." The bar tender was getting a little worked up. His voice rose a little as he continued, "Now, what do I get? Nothing!" He was nearly shouting now. The patrons in the saloon hung on every word, waiting to see what was going to happen. They too recognized this legendary cowboy and couldn't wait to see how the confrontation was going to end. Frankly, it was the best entertainment they'd seen in a very long time.

The bartender carried on, "That damn horse does nothin' but laugh now. Day in and day out. Can't put a saddle on him or hitch him up or nothin'! The minute you go to touch him, he breaks into peals of fresh laughter and usually gets to rollin' around and ya just cain't do a damn thing with the worthless animal. Frankly, I'd rather had the old cryin' horse around so I could at least get something worthwhile out of him."

The cowboy listened to the man's rantings and when he was done, tipped his hat back and quietly thought for a minute. Finally, he said, "Is that reward still good?"

The bartender pulled out five $20 gold pieces from his pocket and said, "Mister, you make him cry again and it's all yours!" Well, a hundred bucks is nothing to sneeze at these days but back then, it was well-nigh a fortune.

"Done deal," said the cowboy and headed around to the corral, the bartender close on his heels.
When he got there, he noticed that a barn had been built at the far end of the corral and the horse's laughter was coming from within.

"What's with the barn?" the cowboy asked.

"Oh, that. Well, when you left here last time, word of this horse was rumored all around the countryside and people started linin' up to see him. I was charging two cents a person to everyone who wanted to see the famous laughing horse. That lasted a couple of years and I even made a little cash money but lately, nobody's interested any more. I was just about to tear that ol' barn down and use it for firewood next winter. That don't change nothin' though. I cain't get any use out of that cayuse as long as he's just laughin' all the time."

"Wait here," said the cowboy and he went inside, leaving the bartender out in the dusty corral.
He peered into the darkness while his eyes adjusted. The horse had his ass to the door and was still laughing himself silly, just as he had been those many years before. The cowby made his way over to the horse.

As soon as the horse saw the cowboy, he burst into fresh laughter which could be heard all over town. People once again gathered in the corral, curious as only quiet, bored, hot and dusty people can be.

Suddenly, they heard the laughter stop. They were awed. They wondered about it. A moment or two went by and the cowboy came out of the barn, squinting at the people in the corral while the people gaped at him, completely slack-jawed. Speechless, the bartender handed the cowboy the money. The cowboy took it without saying a word. Then he meandered back into the bar to finish his drink.

Silently, the townsfolk followed. They gathered as quietly as possible behind the cowboy, watching, not daring to speak. The miracle he had performed, twice now, was beyond their comprehension and they couldn't stand to not know how he did it. The cowboy could feel all eyes on him but he pretended not to notice. He finished his drink at his own leisure and then slowly turned to face the silent crowd.

He stared at them, smiling a little.

They stared back. They smiled back. A little.

Finally, the old saloon keeper dared to ask, "Tell us, sir, how on earth did you get that horse to laugh all those years ago and now, how did you get him to cry? We MUST know!" The townsfolk all shook their heads up and down in anxious agreement.

The cowboy scanned the crowd carefully and said, "Well, back when I made him laugh, I just whispered in his ear, 'Y'know, you sad sack of horse, my dick is bigger'n yours is.'"

"Today, I showed him!"

The End.

--Wag--

Some more religious comment.

2005-03-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

Posted on another forum to another inquisitive mind. Minor mods, as usual. Also, don't worry about stuff that's out of context. The major points still apply and they are reasons for posting this here.

--Wag--

------------------------

Religion. Whew. I think I could write a book on the subject. I was born and raised in one of the more pervasive religious cults ever: Mormonism. It isn't the worst but it's pretty bad, generally speaking. But it's given me an immense amount of subject matter with which to write books on the subject! You name it: Brainwashing, intimidation, fear, guilt, fallacy; the works. Now I just need to get to writing it!

One of my friends quipped one time, "The reason we know god is a creation of men is because he hates all the same people we do." Makes ya stop and think. Why DO people claim that god told them to wipe someone out?

Marx hit the nail on the head when he said, "Religion is the opiate of the masses." I personally believe religion is about control. It's easy to keep people suppressed when they believe that no matter how rotten this life could ever get, the next life will see everything all fixed up. Ostensibly, the bad guys will get the punishment they deserve and the good guys will get the rewards and the riches of an all-powerful god, said rewards and punishments to last FOREVER! Sadly, such ingrained belief causes people to lose hope and enjoyment for this life and keeps them from becoming all they can be. Keeps them from thinking about possibilities.

The usual exceptions apply. I don't believe for a microsecond that my general comments above are globally applicable to all individuals. I'll get to that below.

I've come to believe that in many cases, religion causes more problems than it solves. T. alluded to the idea that you either believe or you don't. You can't make yourself believe. If you, as an individual, are incompatible to religious belief, you'll be miserable and vice-versa. For many years, I was one of the ones who WANTED to believe and TRIED really really hard to believe and ended up realizing that regardless of anything I said or did, I simply had never believed. Did I give up hope? Not really. I merely refocused my life and attention on things which were and are much more productive to my own well-being and overall enjoyment of life. Hope was restored and refreshed.

It's unfortunate that feverish religious nutballs, though a minority, make the most racket and therefore bring the judgment of others on the whole group, simply by association. I believe, though I could be wrong, that the majority of Christians, Catholics, Muslims, etc. etc. are inherently good-hearted and intend no harm or ill-will to others. It's the charismatic fruitcakes who bring a bad image to the whole of their specific religions. Every time I encounter one of these types of believers, I have to laugh because despite their professions of love for me, it is comically apparent that such is not the intent of their hearts. Ironically, it's sad at the same time. The "rightness" of any of their additional commentary becomes suspect at that point.

What is it about human nature which compels us to always want to be "right?" Sometimes even at the expense of ours and others' well-being.

Yesterday, I read about the death of S. back in December. It is a prime example of people being capable of many great and wonderful things. I was deeply touched when I read some of those accounts and my heart goes out to the friends and family of a wonderful man I will never know. The people on this board do fantastic things for and with each other. I have greater faith in human nature because of that series of threads and I love the idea that people have this power within them. But you see examples of this kind of benevolence on a regular basis. Enough to make life worth living.

I'm continually impressed with other people's ability to do good things for each other but are those good things inspired by religion? I don't believe so, not because religion CAN'T inspire good things but that there is no causal relationship between doing good things and having religion in your life. There are too many various people with differing beliefs all doing good things for and with each other for me to believe that religion is the key motivator of it. Granted, if religion inspires some people to do well, to clean up their lives, to take more happines home with them every day, more power to those religious experiences. There are equal examples, however, of people doing evil things because of religion and no religion is excepted of this, past, present or future. Bottom line is, I think people are what they are. They will continue to be as such regardless of any external influence.

I've seen religious zealots pray with destitute families when what that family needed was groceries on the table. That is not Christian, nor is it faithful, nor is it a show of true Christian belief. On the other hand, I've seen people who were given the sustenance they needed to carry them through rough times without another word spoken. You can imagine which of the two types of experiences was the more religious to observe. At the end of the day, it made no difference whatsoever what religion anyone believed in.

Recently a motorcylist told of being confronted mid-morning by a fellow employee about the fact that the biker was splitting lanes in traffic and had been seen by the workmate as the biker passed by. The fellow employee said, "If I weren't a Christian, I would have opened my door on you as you went by." Sounds like the kind of Christian who professes to be one thing but in their heart of hearts, is something else entirely. Living such a double-life can only cause misery. This particular individual is a murderer at heart and while it's good that her "Christianity" stopped her from an evil deed, still, it changes not at all what she is. Her particular brand of "Christianity" has changed her behavior but has not changed what she is.

It's one of the primary reasons I no longer attempt to change people's beliefs as I once did. It's not good for people to be shoehorned into a space for which they are not suited. Farbeit from me to be the cause of that kind of suffering any longer.

Sometimes, the religious organization is faulty, other times, the person is faulty, sometimes, it's a combination of both. It's important to be able to judge which is the case in any individual contact we make before we react as much as, or more so, than the imbecile we seem to despise.

T., you're probably one of the more rational Christians I've ever encountered, 'specially on line. It'd be a pleasure to trade conceptual beliefs with you some day, given the opportunity to do so. You're relatively near so maybe that's more probable than not! I agree that slamming people for idiocy is appropriate but slamming them for their religion and hiding behind the defense that religion itself is idiocy is out of line. Granted, I've met plenty of religious idiots but I've encountered far more who are rational and thoughtful and deserving of great respect. You seem to be one of those and I suspect there are many others on this board of similar nature.

Life changed for me when I kicked religion to the curb. My marriage improved a thousand percent, my feelings of self-worth increased, my fears and guilt were washed away and I was reborn an atheist without regret and except for early on in that process of exiting Mormonism, I have never looked back. This is one guy who would remain an atheist, even in the proverbial foxhole.

I'm in agreement that we can all live together and all believe as we please and no harm no foul, insofar as unpleasantries are dispensed and we see each other as valuable people in any way possible.

We need each other, every one of us.

--Wag--

Persistence

2005-03-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

I read this article this morning and was struck by it rather deeply. Personally, I don't have a drive to do any one particular thing, a fact brought to the forefront of my mind by this article. Hope you find it of value. Regardless, I'm merely posting it here for my future reference at the moment.

--Wag--

-----------------------

Persistence by Bob Proctor

If you were to choose just one part of your personality to develop that would virtually guarantee your success, I'd like to suggest that you place persistence at the top of your list.

Napoleon Hill, in his classic "Think and Grow Rich" felt so strongly about this subject, he devoted an entire chapter to it. Hill suggested, "There may be no heroic connotation to the word persistence but the quality is to your character what carbon is to steel."

Think about it. If you took a quick mental walk down memory lane and reviewed some of your accomplishments in the past - large and small - you would have to agree that persistence played an important role in your success.

Napoleon Hill studied many of the world's most successful people. He pointed out the only quality he could find in Henry Ford, Thomas Edison or a host of other notable greats that he could not find in everyone else was persistence. What I found even more intriguing was the fact that Hill made comment of the fact that these individuals were often misunderstood to be ruthless or cold-blooded and that this misconception grew out of their habit of following through in all of their plans with persistence.

It's both interesting and sadly amusing to me that, as a society, we would be quick to criticize people for realizing they had an unshakeable power within them and were capable of overcoming any obstacle outside of them. This power would ultimately move them toward a greater chance of achieving any goal they set for themselves!

Milt Campbell is a good friend of mine. He and I have shared many hours together discussing the very topic of persistence. Milt was a Decathlete in the Olympic Games held in Helsinki, Finland in 1952. His goal was to capture gold for the US. Unfortunately, another fierce competitor who had taken home the gold four years previous in London wasn't satisfied with one gold, Bob Mathias wanted two; Milt had to settle for silver. That did not deter Milt one bit. He had formed the habit of persistence and four years later in Melbourne, Australia, Milt won the gold medal, earning him the title of the greatest athlete in the world.

On numerous occasions Milt has said, "There were many guys in school who were far better athletes than me, but they quit." I can recount story after story about individuals who overcame obstacles so great, but only did so because they dared persist. These individuals are no different than you and I.

Ultimately persistence becomes a way of life, but that is not where it begins. To develop the mental strength - persistence - you must first want something. You have to WANT something so much that it becomes a heated desire... a passion in your belly. You must fall in love with that idea. Yes, literally fall in love with the idea and magnetize yourself to every part of the idea. At that point, persistence will be virtually automatic.

Persistence is a subject I have studied all of my adult life and I can tell you one thing I know for certain: very few people ever, mentally or verbally, say to themselves... this is what I really want and I am prepared to give my life for it, and thus, they never develop the persistence to achieve it.

Persistence is a unique mental strength; a strength that is essential to combat the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and are all part of winning in a fast-moving, ever-changing world. As Napoleon Hill found out, there are hundreds of highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on the scrolls of history â€¦ and every one of these great individuals was persistent. In many cases it was the only quality that separated them from everyone else.

It is generally believed that a lack of persistence is a consequence of a weak willpower. That is not true. A person could have a highly evolved willpower and still lack the persistence required to keep moving forward in life. In more cases than not, if a person lacks persistence, they do not have a goal that is worthy of them, a desirable goal that excites them to their very core.

Though willpower is important in moving a person toward their goal, if there is ever a war between the will and the imagination, the imagination will win every time. What that means is: you're powered by desire and fuelled by the dream you hold. Once you start to use your imagination to help you build a bigger picture of your dream, to define and refine it until you get it just right in your mind, the emotion that is triggered by that desire far outweighs any force that may be caused by sheer will alone. I am not suggesting the will does not have to be developed, it does. It must become highly developed in order to direct you toward the image with which you are emotionally involved.

Your intellectual factors hold the potential for enormous good when they are properly employed. However, you must remember that everything has an opposite and any of your intellectual factors can turn, without warning, into destructive lethal enemies when they are directed toward results that are not wanted. It is easy to find individuals who are persistently doing what they don't want to do and achieving results that they do not want. A lack of persistence is not their problem; that person is persisting to their own detriment. Ignorance and paradigms are the enemy that we must defeat. Everyone is persistent. Our objective must be to put persistence to work for us rather than against us.

Vision and desire have to be the focus of your attention if you're going to develop persistence into the great ally it can become.

Another excellent example of persistence was demonstrated when, in 1953, a beekeeper from Auckland, N.Z., Edmund Hillary and his native guide, Tenzing Norguay, became the first two people to climb Mt. Everest and return, after having tried and failed the two previous years.

Hillary had two obvious character strengths that took him to the very top - vision and desire. Even despite the seemingly insurmountable challenges, he had no trouble persisting with the strenuous acts that were required because every act was hooked into the image of him standing on top of the mountain. They were expressed because of his persistence, but he was persistent because he was emotionally involved with the image. Without persistence, all his skills would have meant nothing.

Persistence is an expression of the mental strength that is essential in almost every profession, where repeated rejection and obstacles are part of a daily routine.

In closing, let me give you four relatively simple steps that will help you to turn persistence into a habit. These steps can be followed by virtually anyone.

1. Have a clearly defined goal. The goal must be something you are emotionally involved with, something you want very much. (In the beginning, you may not even believe that you can accomplish it - the belief will come.)

2. Have a clearly established plan that you can begin working on immediately. (Your plan will very likely only cover the first and possibly the second stage of the journey to your goal. As you begin executing your plan, other steps required to complete your journey will be revealed at the right time.)

3. Make an irrevocable decision to reject any and all negative suggestions that come from friends, relatives or neighbors. Do not give any conscious attention to conditions or circumstances that appear to indicate the goal cannot be accomplished.

4. Establish a mastermind group of one or more people who will encourage, support and assist you wherever possible.

What do you dream of doing with your life? Do it. Begin right now and never quit. There is greatness in you. Let it out. Be persistent.

A letter to a new mom.

2005-03-02T12:27:00.000-07:00

I sent the following e-mail to my cousin, J. today. It came from the heart and I thought it usefully exposed another layer to my feelings about the birth of my new "nephew" 02/14. This was sent in response to an e-mail from her.

--Wag--

P.S. Yes, I know that R. is not my nephew, he is my first cousin once removed, as J. informed me! Still, I'm lazy and it's easier to refer to him as a nephew!

J,

You're cute! It's nearly impossible to put myself into your shoes given the radical changes you're having now. Picturing you as a mother is something I haven't done yet. I've still thought of you as the same fun-loving, party animal we've come to love and enjoy in the recent years. Nevertheless, I hope the mommy side of you will still let the plaything out from time to time. We out here in the sandbox still need a J. fix from time to time! ;-)

I wrote in my blog something about the fact R.'s birth and the fact that I was there for it has changed me in some fundamental way which I can't put my finger on.

What I hadn't considered in depth until reading your e-mail is that it has most assuredly changed you and D. as well. And FAR more drastically than it changed me. It has to have changed how you think about yourself, just you you say. I can't even begin to comprehend how that is. It's one thing to consider how I look at you but I'm fascinated with how your view of yourself has been changed. Also, D.'s perspective about himself and about you as well. Your e-mail has overwhelmed me as I consider how you both must have had changes to your views of your inner selves.

Some other thoughts I had as we talked the other night. In a radical sense, you're doing things backwards from how "everyone else" does them. Many couples have children early in life, WAY before they're really ready to have that kind of responsibility. Indeed, in the VAST majority of cases, it seems couples or mothers have kids completely IR-responsibly. It makes for more sad times than joyous ones in families with an immature mother and father (if there's a father around after the sperm-donor stage) trying to be parents when they haven't finished being kids yet.

I look at you and D. and I admire the fact that you've made the decision to have a child and that you did so with careful consideration and deliberation. Not to mention all the effort you put into maximizing his health in the process. The responsible way in which you've gone about this is a demonstration of a purer love than I've encountered in the past.

I suppose N. and I did the same thing: Approached the idea of children in the home with a sense of responsibility and with a determination of what is going to be best for a little one. Ultimately, we concluded that it would be best to not have kids but truth be told, had we not encountered obstructions along the way, we would be the irresponsible parents with kids we can't handle and wondering how we got ourselves into that mess.

Well, you've done more than I could have hoped for. I doubt that at this point, I could improve on anything you've done. You've had a child later in life but frankly, you're older and more mature and you have a greater sense of responsibility than you would have had ten or fifteen years ago. Full kudos to you. That all applies equally to D., as you know.

I can't tell you enough how much I admire the two of you. Thanks for including us in your lives.

All my love,

--Wag--

RoHS Compliance

2005-03-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Without doing any professional research on the matter, here are some speculative and therefore, highly suspect thoughts. In other words, I'm only writing based on what I've overheard on a peripheral level.

Remember the Y2K scare? Allegedly, computers everywhere were going to fail right and left. Chaos would reign the world over.

How many computer failures did YOU hear about on 01 January, 2000? I didn't hear of a single one. Maybe my life is too sheltered . . . . Even now, however, there is room for Y2K problems which have not yet been discovered but I have to believe that possibility to be remote.

Nevertheless, there was plenty of fear about the subject which resulted in a frenzy of buying replacement computer systems and software. I suspect that in the process, there was some innovation in software designs, etc. etc. But what can't be denied is the fact that there was a huge boom in the electronics industry and a LOT of people made huge amounts of money in the process.

So, came 01 January, 2000, the extreme majority of all computer and electronics users had replaced substantially all of their equipment and it was all new.

Now I don't know about the rest of you but I don't replace my computer every year. In fact, if I can, I try to make it last about 5 years and since I don't demand a lot from it, I can usually make it last a very long time. I know a lot of companies feel the same about it. They make their systems last as long as possible. More power to them and us.

Remember what happened in the subsequent years after Y2K? Recession, especially in the electronics industry. The pool of consumers and businesses buying new electronics shrank considerably. As the recession progressed with fewer customers for new products, companies went out of business in droves. The new equipment they had purchased during the boom of Y2K was sold as used and people and businesses got some great deals . . .

. . . and new stuff simply got sold in much smaller volumes for quite some time.

I think most of that equipment has been used up and the electronics industry seems to be juuuuust about to get back on its feet. Many systems bought during the Y2K scare are still being used but they are getting replaced now. Finally. Hell, a lot of those systems are still using Windows 98 to the extreme that Microsoft even extended it's deadline for End of Life on Windows 98 and they are still supporting it for that reason. There's your key indicator. When those Windows 98 systems all go away, you can be sure that most of the Y2K systems are finally gone.

But there is another problem which is faced by the electronics industry every day. Actually, two very closely related problems. Prices and Life Cycles. The electronics industry is one of the very few industries in which products continually get better AND cheaper at the same time. Remember the first Compaq "portable" 21 years ago? It had ten times the memory of anything else with a whopping 640K (yes, that's "K") of RAM. TWO, count 'em, TWO floppy disk drives. (Personally, I hadn't even heard of a hard drive at the time, though they did exist.) It had a VGA monitor and with the proper RF modulator, it could easily be connected to a T.V. to conjur up some pretty cool graphics for the day. It cost about $4,000, not including the printer and some WordPerfect software.

Nowadays, people are getting PDA's and cell phones which are FAR more powerful than that Compaq "portable" and if you work the deal right, you can damn near get 'em for free. Look at the Zire 72. Whoa. Most desktops made before about 6 to 10 years ago couldn't even compete in terms of power and capability, to say nothing of doing it for the same price. Try $300 vs. $3,000.

So, what's the effect of that pricing problem on the electronics industry? Well, everything gets better and cheaper which results in better market penetration (two cars in every garage and a computer in every living room) BUT, and this is the kicker, electronics companies have to deal with continuous pressure to get their prices down and THAT means, they are operating ever more closely to their break-even points. Moving closer and closer to the edge of the cliff, so to speak.

They HAVE to produce new products. Which brings me to the other component of the electronics industry's major problem: life cycles. When a new product is introduced, the price of it on the shelf instantly starts to decline because the product is only going to be "the latest and greatest" for a very short time. If the company is exceptionally lucky, they'll get a year of good sales out of a single product. Typically, it's more like four to six months. At that point, they'll be lucky to unload it for ANY price and the product gets relegated to pretty near garbage status. The only way for a company to do well and make any money is to release a new product every six months. Or even more often.

It's nearly a Catch-22. The very thing that makes electronics great is the same thing which shoots it in the toe. We make better and better products and we do it faster and faster all the time but doing so creates a vicious cycle of continuous and very rapid replacement of products on the shelf. Continuous and rapid obsolescence of all products electronic. Even the capital equipment required to build these products goes obsolete VERY quickly. Prices fall to the point of making it impossible to turn a profit on any "old" product.

Nasty. Kudos to the managers and company execs who manage these products and make the decisions necessary to keep their companies afloat in such a scenario.

So, I have this idea that the Y2K panic, while not conspiratorial, seems to have given the electronics industry an idea; that they have to create some kind of crisis to generate a buying spree every so often in order to keep afloat.

Introduce the RoHS (Restriction of Hazardous Substances) Directive. Essentially, it says that manufacturers are to reduce the amount of things like Lead, Mercury, etc. etc. from the products made in the electronics industry. It appears that the primary focus for the electronics industry is lead. Lead is an important component of the solder used in all or most electronics components. It gets blended with tin or silver, et al and serves to make the solder last longer, be more flexible, and resist the ordinary wear and tear and the effects of age on a circuit board. Take it out and you reduce the reliability of the product.

Note this, too. The entire electronics industry produces less than 10% (going from memory here) of the world's lead "waste" or "pollution." Even if the entire electronics industry goes completely lead-free, the world's lead pollution problem will still be an issue. (If we really want to eliminate lead from the environment, guess who we need to talk to? Battery makers, maybe?)

So what have we done here? RoHS has created another crisis, similar to that of the Y2K crisis. The only difference is, instead of affecting people at an end-user level, we have moved the crisis to the level of the electronics manufacturer. The result is similar, however. It obsoletes a lot of older inventory and demands its replacement. Prices are stabilized and profits can be restored. Puts companies a little farther above break-even because they can justify the increase or at least the maintenance of prices. Also, the reduced reliability of products means that there will be a slight increase in demand, albeit from repairs, etc. Manufacturing will have found a way to keep their assembly lines up and running.

Is it a conspiracy? Well, I'm no conspiracy nutball but this is one of those things which make you raise an eyebrow and say, "Hmmmmm. I wonder." And you do have to wonder. Is the European Union so hard-up for business that they have to create some imaginary crisis in order to compete with the rest of the world? Remember back when ISO 9000 was all the rage? My opinion only here, but that was mostly a "fad" which originated in Europe. I suppose it was a way of suggesting that if you could comply with ISO standards, your product was allegedly a better product and buying from a certified company meant you were doing better than the other guys. Kinda like the car salesman who suggests, "You don't want to buy from THOSE guys! They don't have THIS!"

So what's the deal with RoHS? I think you're going to see a lot of companies, in Europe, ironically, who will want exceptions to the "rules" and they'll gum up the whole works right before they go completely out of business. There will be plenty of exceptions made in the medical and aeorspace industries to allow their products to be made with lead in the solder to provide the reliability they demand. The prices of non-lead products will go down, eventually, as more and more companies comply. The prices of non-compliant products will start to rise as they become ever more difficult to find. Eventually, soldering and other metallurgical technologies will rise to the occasion and we'll find that we can make things without lead which are just as reliable as things with lead.

We have to hope.

But I still have to wonder: How on earth are we going to fix the problems of excess lead in batteries? Can we? I'd be the last to know but I do believe this: RoHS isn't about solving problems with lead or other hazardous materials in the environment. It's about stimulating the electronics industry and giving it a boost for a while. Especially in the European Union. The only questions are going to be, "How long will the boost last?" and "What crisis is going to come up next in order to boost the electronics industry?" Or, to rephrase that last question, "What is the European Union going to do next in order to create a bigger market for itself?" Short of actually producing some quality and service on its own merits, that is.

--Wag--